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Dear Husband

Posted by on Aug. 7, 2010 at 3:18 AM
  • 9 Replies

Dear Husband,

   I understand that we have been away from each other for a little over a month now. I know that the strain has been hard on the both of us, and I am sure you have a serious case of blue balls. However, I have been trying to tell you, and get you to understand, that I am an insommniac. When I say I need to go to sleep, that does not mean stop me from hanging up a million times to say "I love you" Or "I want to pinch your butt". Seriously. I have told you repeatedly that when I am sleep deprived for too long, that I turn into a raging bitch and cannot be held responsible for my actions. My DOCTOR has told you this. We have both tried to teach you about the condition so that you do not get surprised. You trying to compare it to your alcohol addiction is ludicris, and I would appreciate it if you would realize that they are not anywhere close to similar.

Also, I understand that as of midnight, it is your birthday. However, you can not scream at me in a bad impression of a howler monkey and then expect me to stop in the middle, look at the clock, and say, "Oh, hunny, Happy Birthday!" I am too busy nursing hurt feelings on top of sleep deprivation and sadness. I AM HUMAN.

PS, if you don't quit this selfish crap, I am going to be forced to awaken you daily for work by throwing frozen metal ball bearings in the bed and duct taping the sheets down while I fart "O Come all Ye Faithful!"

Love,

Your exceedingly tired wife.


by on Aug. 7, 2010 at 3:18 AM
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Replies (1-9):
.carrie.
by on Aug. 7, 2010 at 3:20 AM

 Rofl!

kagegirl
by on Aug. 7, 2010 at 3:22 AM

I have tried to get him to understand my condition. When I get annoyed, I get awake. You can't annoy me and have me drop off to sleep. It doesn't happen. THe man doesn't shut up!!! He wants me to take sleeping pills. Yeah, I would love to except I know him for the log sawer of the night that he is, and SOMEONE needs to be available to the children in case of an emergency. It just chaps my ass that I have told him repeatedly how my condition works and he chooses to ignore it and then get pissed.

Quoting .carrie.:

 Rofl!



.carrie.
by on Aug. 7, 2010 at 3:30 AM

 I know how that goes((insomnia)), except in my situation my hubby works nights so I can't take sleeping pills.

kagegirl
by on Aug. 7, 2010 at 3:32 AM

It BLOWS!!! And the thing is, I have been up every night for the past week until three because I keep getting good ideas for my new book, and if I don't write it out, I will forget. So, Tonight, I decided I needed to take a night off and recharge my battery and he pulls some crap like this. Telling me, well, I was trying to be cute and sweet. It IS NOT SWEET WHEN YOUR WIFE KEEPS TRYING TO GET YOU OFF THE PHONE TO GO TO SLEEP AND YOU KEEP BUGGING HER!!!!

Quoting .carrie.:

 I know how that goes((insomnia)), except in my situation my hubby works nights so I can't take sleeping pills.



kagegirl
by on Aug. 7, 2010 at 3:48 AM

BUMP!

.carrie.
by on Aug. 7, 2010 at 3:50 AM

Rofl, I'd have unplugged the phone line if he kept ignoring me.

kagegirl
by on Aug. 7, 2010 at 3:51 AM

Well, I did hang up on him, but I felt bad, so I called him back to say I am sorry and the second he picks up the phone, he climbs down my throat and starts yelling at me. JESUS!!!

Quoting .carrie.:

Rofl, I'd have unplugged the phone line if he kept ignoring me.



.carrie.
by on Aug. 7, 2010 at 3:58 AM

Jeez. Men are dumb sometimes, huh?

kagegirl
by on Aug. 7, 2010 at 12:59 PM

Sometimes? You mean some of them have moments of adult lucidity?

Quoting .carrie.:

Jeez. Men are dumb sometimes, huh?



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