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I hate worthless men!!!

Posted by on Aug. 7, 2010 at 4:55 AM
  • 11 Replies

My friend Ash is going through a hard time right now. She is working FT and doing 2 FT school courses. Her DH is a lazy bum. He sits at home playing video games all day. He hasn't had a job in 2 years. They have 2 girls that are always with her mom. Her daughters live with her mom because she can't trust her Dh with them while she is gone.

She feels she isn't in love anymore. Her DH treats her like crap. She is afraid to leave him because she doesn't think anyone else will want her because of the kids. She is young (21) and has time to find a guy she deserves but she doesn't beleive that. She has always been treated ikie dirt and beleives that is how she should always be treated.

They are living in welfare apt and living off food stamps.which is fine you do what you can to take care of your family, but her DH knows they don't have much money and every week when she gets paid he takes her money and spends it all on booze and smokes. He doesn't even make sure their bills are paid. She can't get a separate bank account from him because he is so controlling and she is afraid he will get angry and beat her again. She tries doing cash but he finds it while she is gone or asleep.

She is severly depressed and has a history of suicidal tendencies and cutting.  I want to help but there is only so much I can do, ya know. I honestly think she needs to leave him but they have been together since she was 15 and she is afraid of being without him. I am meeting up with her Tuesday but I don't know what to tell her that I haven't told her already.

I really just wanna reem her DH up one side and down the other. He is a worthless peice of shit. She deserves so much better. I seriously hate men like him. He needs to grow a pair and act like a man and take care of his family!

Rant over.

by on Aug. 7, 2010 at 4:55 AM
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Replies (1-10):
nicolleraeanne
by on Aug. 7, 2010 at 5:03 AM
I would talk to a battered women's shelter in your area and come armed with as much information as you can provide her. Her children need to come first.
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wickedfiress
by Ruby Member on Aug. 7, 2010 at 5:04 AM

She's the one putting up with it. When she has had enough, she will kick his ass out.

It's amazing how people don't hold themselves to the standards they set for others.

.carrie.
by on Aug. 7, 2010 at 5:06 AM

I agree, It's not good that she's putting him before her kids though. Bring that up!

krystie-tina
by Bronze Member on Aug. 7, 2010 at 5:10 AM

I wish that were the case but they have been together for 7 years. He has cheated on her, beat her to the point her "internal organs had shifted in her body" and raped her and she still takes him back. She truly beleives she deserves it. :(

Quoting wickedfiress:

She's the one putting up with it. When she has had enough, she will kiss his ass out.


wickedfiress
by Ruby Member on Aug. 7, 2010 at 5:12 AM


Quoting krystie-tina:

I wish that were the case but they have been together for 7 years. He has cheated on her, beat her to the point her "internal organs had shifted in her body" and raped her and she still takes him back. She truly beleives she deserves it. :(

One day, she WILL reach a point where she says to herself, "I've had ENOUGH."  It may not be this week, or this year, but it WILL happen eventually, but when it does, be there.

It's amazing how people don't hold themselves to the standards they set for others.

MIA0223
by Ruby Member on Aug. 7, 2010 at 7:41 AM

Support her and be there for her.
Talk to her. Tell her even if she leaves him, it will be lonely, but she doesn't need a man! TEll her that the "right" man will come along, don't settle on another loser!
She deserves better and so do her kids!


Group Owner of Crunchy Mama Contests!

MIA0223
by Ruby Member on Aug. 7, 2010 at 7:43 AM

I agree. That is why she needs all the support she can get. Because even if she does leave him, she is at risk of bringing another bad man in her life because she was "lonely"

Quoting .carrie.:

I agree, It's not good that she's putting him before her kids though. Bring that up!



Group Owner of Crunchy Mama Contests!

Vegetarianmama
by on Aug. 7, 2010 at 7:47 AM
Those are always tough things to deal with coming from an outsider, I wish I had wise words to tell you to say but I'm not sure. I hope she gets out and finds better situation, she sounds better than that, and I'm sure she is. Just be a supportive caring friend, and help her as much as you can. I wish you both good luck.

I am a nature, people and animal loving, tree huggin', picture takin', EBF, 'CIO' method using, disposable & cloth diapering, exercising, socializing, selfless, non-wedded but faithful to my SO, open minded, good humored, city living but country natured, time out supporting, organic and non-meat eating, Ray LaMontagne following, republican but not huge into politics, reading, football enthusiast, and HAPPY type of woman.

belowzero
by on Aug. 7, 2010 at 7:48 AM

I would print out information on the Stockholm Syndrome and bring it with you for her to read.  Maybe it'll help her make the right decision for her and her kids to get out of that dangerous mess.

*Admin of Marriage and Relationships*


*Air Force National Guard Wife*


*Mother to a beautiful 10 year old daughter*


*911 Dispatcher for the Alaska State Troopers*

nicolleraeanne
by on Aug. 7, 2010 at 8:07 AM

Hence the comment about arming yourself with information to give her. Seriously, contact your local battered women's shelter. That's what they are there for. 

Quoting wickedfiress:


Quoting krystie-tina:

I wish that were the case but they have been together for 7 years. He has cheated on her, beat her to the point her "internal organs had shifted in her body" and raped her and she still takes him back. She truly beleives she deserves it. :(

One day, she WILL reach a point where she says to herself, "I've had ENOUGH."  It may not be this week, or this year, but it WILL happen eventually, but when it does, be there.


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