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How soon after childbirth did you and your DH/SO have sex? **Advice needed also**

Posted by on Aug. 7, 2010 at 6:11 PM
  • 23 Replies

I just had our 2nd baby about 3wks ago.  After having our 1st baby, I didn't have to worry about sex or anything because DH was deployed.  He's deploying again SOON, but the point is he's home and CONSTANTLY nagging me about when he'll get laid.  I told him before he deploys, but apparently that's not good enough for him.  Every night he begs and pleads to have sex, and I hate turning him down because I want it just as bad as he does.  The problem is that I'm still bleeding (not a lot, but enough to where I don't want him down there), and I'm afraid of ripping my stitches.  It was a vaginal delivery, and I tore in 3 spots.  It doesn't hurt or anything anymore, I'm just afraid of tearing open the stitches and then having to go to the ER.  And I've told him those are the only reasons we haven't had sex yet.  He says he can deal with the bleeding, that we'll just put a towel down; and that he'll be gentle and use a lot of lube if we have to.  He can say he'll be gentle, but it's been over 2mos since we've had sex so I KNOW once we start he'll forget everything and it won't be so gentle.

So I guess I'm just wondering what the average length of time is that people wait to have sex after childbirth?  And also what the hell I'm supposed to do about my DH and his constant begging? 

by on Aug. 7, 2010 at 6:11 PM
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Replies (1-10):
WhitleyLyles
by on Aug. 7, 2010 at 6:12 PM

I only waited three weeks each time. I was as ready for it as he was LOL

kemmerer411
by on Aug. 7, 2010 at 6:13 PM
I waited the full six weeks. I only had one stitch but I wasn't going to chance it.
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SuperPickle
by Ruby Member on Aug. 7, 2010 at 6:13 PM

I would just give him a good BJ. Its really not safe to have sex while you are still bleeding after birth

WhitleyLyles
by on Aug. 7, 2010 at 6:13 PM

Give him head...I dunno. That would satisfy my dh if I were in your situation.

JennaInAlaska
by on Aug. 7, 2010 at 6:14 PM

 Did you not have an MD/DO? I mean everyone on CafeMom is a doctor so you came to the right place BUT I would ask my doctor first, KWIM?

Mommyof2n13
by on Aug. 7, 2010 at 6:14 PM

With our second, I only waited 2 weeks. She was a vag. del. too....didnt hurt, nothing ripped. He just had to be gentle and we did have to use lube...But It was awesome. I was in the same boat...but we couldnt have sex for 4 months before she was born (early labor issues) I say go get laid Momma!

crazyangel_52
by on Aug. 7, 2010 at 6:14 PM

did u have a two week appointment? if so what did ur doc say about sex? my df and i waited the full six weeks after out daughter was born and two in a half weeks after our son was born. can u still feel the stiches down there or are they gone? it's up to u either way hun. good luck with ur hubby.

Chey_s_Mommy
by on Aug. 7, 2010 at 6:14 PM

 I had a c-section and I think we waited about 3 or 4 weeks, can't remember. As for him bugging you, I am not sure what to tell you. :)

Bknotnobody
by on Aug. 7, 2010 at 6:16 PM

I waited 4 or 6 weeks after my daughter.

I at the time, had no partner.

I do remember when i hit the four week mark, i did manage to find myself a boyfriend, and I offered up anal, blowjobs, handjobs.

 

JennaInAlaska
by on Aug. 7, 2010 at 6:17 PM

 Dude, you just had a baby. Tell him to fuck off.

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