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living in my car would be better

Posted by on Aug. 31, 2010 at 8:55 AM
  • 5 Replies

is my thought process right now. Its true. I am sick of my mom. For the record, I dont live with her. I live with my dad- who is divorced from my mom-- but she came back to the US and basically refuses to leave the house! Since dad works all the time, he doesnt have to deal with her (he doesnt even really want her here- but is too nice to kick her and her 5 year old out).

I'm just so sick of it. I'm sick of the downgrades, the mess, the yelling and screaming. I'm sick of the threats... of watching her scream at the 5 year old, while all she does is just sit on her fat ass and do nothing, and I get up and correct her child. she's not my kid- why the fuck am I getting up every 10 seconds to punish, redirect, reward, etc?! (mainly to discipline and redirect though). I'm sick of having no privacy, of feeling that I'm trapped in my "room"- even though I have no door, and her 5 year old (as well as her) believes that they can come down anytime they want- go through anything they want! No, I dont have a door, but its still my room, isnt it?1 I still have very private items in my room! I'm sick of her leaving her 5 year old with me, while she goes to the store "for a hour"-- and is gone for 4+ hours! I'm sick of my dad telling me to "get the kids" when it should be "get your son"-- and he should tell her "get your daughter"... but even HE knows that she wont get off her ass and away from her precious computer to grab her daughter. All she'll do is just yell and scream her name, threatening to get a wooden spoon- or a belt- or a "I'm gonna beat your ass"--- sometimes, even a "you're lucky to even be alive" if she doesnt listen. (for the record- my mom wont do any of those things b/c it means she'll have to get off her ass and away from the computer... she was the same way with us- but at least she had a little more energy so she actually DID come after us.... but ever since the computer, in 97, apparently, her hands have been glued to it)


sorry for the vent- i just needed to get it off my chest before I go crazy. Only thing keeping me at home, is DS- I know its not fair for him to live in a car... its not fair for him- or even me- to be around this bullshit- but I cant leave. even if i was financially able to- I cant leave b/c what'll happen to the 5 year old, kwim?

(I also want to add that her 5 year old listens to me b/c she knows I mean business. doesnt listen that well, but way more than to our mom... a time out means a time out, a spanking means a spanking, taking a toy away means its going away for a while- until she can prove that she deserves it! the only threatening I do is the 1-2-3 count)

by on Aug. 31, 2010 at 8:55 AM
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Replies (1-5):
grammarpolice
by on Aug. 31, 2010 at 9:05 AM

Your sister is your parent's responsibility, not yours. Not that this matters for your situation, but is she not your father's child?

Why are you living with your son in this household that you obviously know is dysfunctional? You have a responsibility and moral obligation to raise your son in a more suitable environment - also an obligation to YOURSELF.

 

Shy_Dia
by Gold Member on Aug. 31, 2010 at 9:21 AM

no, she's not my dad's child. the divorce was over a lot of things, including my mom's cheating. the second "incident" (aka child from infedility) was the last straw for my dad..

I currently live with my dad and when its us (me, DS, dad and my 12 year old bro) things are good... Basically like a normal household. I take care of the kids/housework- homework, food, cleaning, etc and my own things- school- and he works. He's works about 12 hours a day, then does his own schoolwork (he's self-teaching himself chinese right now)... But with my mom here- it makes it dysfunctional. Always has been. She's leaving between mid-Jan to june (she keeps changing the date) so eventually things will be back to normal... I only have 6 more months left of school, to get my associates in architecture. the school helps with job placement (that'll happen in my last quarter- 3 months away). My goal/plan is to finish college, get in my career, and then get my own place. I know (from past experience) I'll start working, quit school and it'll take years before I go back. I should've graduated when I was 19- but thats what happened. tried again at 20... I'm 22 now and i refuse to let it happen again (basically not putting myself back in the old routine).

(mom and my sister has only been here since the beginning of Aug... before that- it was normal! before the normal stage- it was when they were still married/living together before DS was born.. adn while I was preg with him/them going through the divorce- i was in fostercare so it hasnt been THAT badly dysfunctional for us/DS)

Quoting grammarpolice:

Your sister is your parent's responsibility, not yours. Not that this matters for your situation, but is she not your father's child?

Why are you living with your son in this household that you obviously know is dysfunctional? You have a responsibility and moral obligation to raise your son in a more suitable environment - also an obligation to YOURSELF.



amber_1024
by on Aug. 31, 2010 at 9:40 AM

 Its sad when ppl can't parent their own child(ren)....

But in this case, honestly I'd be glad that 5 yr old was there...
Think of what its like for her with just her & her mom alone... I'm sure she doesn't get any social interaction or anything from your mom.

And I'm a b!tch, I'd "accidentally" trip and spill a whole entire drink on the computer, or something that would destroy it.

jkleinman
by on Aug. 31, 2010 at 9:47 AM
I agree!

Quoting amber_1024:

 Its sad when ppl can't parent their own child(ren)....


But in this case, honestly I'd be glad that 5 yr old was there...
Think of what its like for her with just her & her mom alone... I'm sure she doesn't get any social interaction or anything from your mom.


And I'm a b!tch, I'd "accidentally" trip and spill a whole entire drink on the computer, or something that would destroy it.

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Shy_Dia
by Gold Member on Aug. 31, 2010 at 10:53 AM

i'm kinda glad that my sister is here... I mean, not only am i attempting to teach her (to listen to adults)-- but it gives DS a chance to "follow the crowd" and learn right from wrong. he knows a lot of things that are wrong- but he attempted to follow my sister b/c she doesnt know (or she just gets away with it). he got in trouble and now, he thinks twice before doing something he KNOWS is wrong... quite awesome. lol

lol that'd be a lot of "accidents"... my mom technically has like 3 laptops, then my brother has her old one- she'd just take that one back.... and if that one fails, then my 5 year old sister got a laptop for christmas last year- mom would just use that one.... i'm telling you- my mom is GLUED to a computer! she'd probably take it in the bathroom if she could.

Quoting jkleinman:

I agree!

Quoting amber_1024:

 Its sad when ppl can't parent their own child(ren)....


But in this case, honestly I'd be glad that 5 yr old was there...
Think of what its like for her with just her & her mom alone... I'm sure she doesn't get any social interaction or anything from your mom.


And I'm a b!tch, I'd "accidentally" trip and spill a whole entire drink on the computer, or something that would destroy it.


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