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So sick of this...vent

Posted by on Aug. 31, 2010 at 9:59 AM
  • 13 Replies

My husband gripes that i never make time for him. He says we never talk about anything, or spend any time together. And he complains our bedroom isn't clean. The house is a mess. I'm behind on laundry, blah blah blah.Ok, let's break it down.

I get up every morning to make sure my husband has clothes for work. And i make him breakfast. If he's running a bit late, i make his lunch too. And i make sure he has everything he needs when he leaves. Then i'm left alone all day, with no car. My DD gets up, and i make her breakfast. I have to stand over her to make sure she eats. Then it's time to make her clean her room. Once again, i have to stand over her the whole time. Then i put on a movie for DD, and try to figure out what to make for dinner. And i go through the kitchen making a list of food we need. And i wash the dishes. Then i open the dishwasher, and find DH has decided to help me and wash dishes in the dishwasher. I have to wash those all over again. (our dw sucks. there are always food particles all over the dishes and it seriously grosses me out). Then our DS cries and i have to feed him. By that time, its lunch. make lunch for DD. Stand over her to make sure she eats. Wash dishes again. Send her to play or watch another movie. Clean her bathroom. Again. Take a peek in DDs room and find she has gotten to (insert random food from kitchen here). Stand over her, and make her clean her mess. Feed DS again. Pick up all the clothes around the house and toss them in the garage so i can start some laundry later. Send DD to pick up all her toys around the house, and put her dirty laundry away. Get out vaccuum cleaner and do all the floors. Mop floors. Clean off table and try to figure out where to put all the clutter. Find out DD has gotten into my room and ruined all my makeup. Again. I knew it was too quiet. discipline DD, and grab key, lock bedroom door. Feed DS. DH gets home.

Grab truck keys, run to store. Get home, start making dinner. Get dinner in the oven, give DD a bath or shower. Wash her hair. Deal with the screaming . I guess washing hair is child abuse. Get DD out of bath, dry her off. Get her dressed. Get dinner out of oven. Fix a plate for everyone. DH disappears to go to a neighbors. Stand over DD to make sure she eats. Get DD ready for bed. Make her clean room once again. Get her in bed. Feed DS. Get DH's uniform out and starch and iron. Wait on DH. DH gets home. He eats dinner. Finally get a chance to go take a shower. Go to bed.

You know why the bedroom isn't clean? Because if i go to the room to clean it, our DD gets into everything. I can't even go to the bathroom without coming back to a mess. As for not spending time with you? You disappear every night to go play with your buddies just as i'm getting dinner out of the oven. you don't come back til almost 10 at night. I'm fricking tired. I would have loved to spend time with you after i got DD to bed. But you weren't there. And it's like this on weekends too. I could have you watch DD while i get the whole house clean, catch up on laundry, but nooooo, you go play with your buddies. All day long.


by on Aug. 31, 2010 at 9:59 AM
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Replies (1-10):
amber_1024
by on Aug. 31, 2010 at 10:02 AM

 I'm not sure how old your daughter is, but why do you feel the need to stand over her while she's eating?

Sorry about your husband...

dbldogdare
by on Aug. 31, 2010 at 10:05 AM

Sorry. :(

Occasionally I will cook up a bunch of dinners on the weekend and stick them in the freezer so all we have to do is warm stuff up at night to eat. Saves so much time in our nightly rituals. I would make him help with bath times or something. Its a good chance for him to spend time with the kiddos and he can make it fun time. Good luck!


1busymomma03
by on Aug. 31, 2010 at 10:05 AM
Sounds like you may need a new cleaning schedule..you seem to be doing the same things over and over. Maybe you could just pick up the toys once a day in the evening, instead of picking them up so many different times during the day. How old is your DD? When I'm cleaning, I give my DD a clean washcloth, paper towel, or baby wipe and let her "clean" with me. It keeps her busy and she also feels important because she is "helping" me. I'm sorry your DH is being mean to you though. (((hugs)))
mom2four1978
by on Aug. 31, 2010 at 10:11 AM

 I agree you may need a new cleaning routine. It took me a year to get mine down. The cleaning game group here really helped me. There are a lot of good tips on making cleaning schedules there, and some games that make it more fun. And there is no bashing in that group. Heres the link in case you want to check it out. http://www.cafemom.com/group/36971

 

imthatgirl728
by on Aug. 31, 2010 at 10:11 AM

Why are you spending so much time standing over your daughter watching ehr do things?

Maybe sit down with him and have a conversation about what you both need. If one person in a relationship feels they aren;t getting what they need then it's time for both people to reprioritize.

tiffkenn06
by on Aug. 31, 2010 at 10:17 AM

is your husband a baby to? my husband gets all his uniforms and pts ready the night before. I do a lot for him but he still has to act like an adult. Sounds like my day except i have one child and most times ill have to remind her shes eating as she has a short attention span. Id find a better way to get the most done in your day while not compromising any of your time with the kids.

Mommie2Kailen
by on Aug. 31, 2010 at 10:17 AM

 how old is your daughter. you shouldnt have to stand over her to make her eat. Im sorry your going through this hugs

Motherof3inNJ
by on Aug. 31, 2010 at 10:20 AM


I would suggest doing your grocery shopping once a week that way you won't have to run to the store everyday. We have one car too and I'm home with 4 kids. I make sure to do my grocery shopping every Sunday no matter what. If I run out of things during the week, I can walk to the little store down the street with the kids, but I try not to do this too often.

Maybe while your daughter is eating, instead of standing over her, you could be in the kitchen with her and you could be cleaning at the same time. You could do dishes, wipe down counters, or even start dinner. I use my crock pot maybe 4 times a week and I start dinner while they are eating breakfast. 

My kids are responsible for picking up all the toys- not me. If they don't do it they get a time-out. They typically pick the toys up in the living room about an hour before SO comes home, they are allowed to play in their rooms after that till bedtime. I vacuum and dust the living room then. At bedtime, the kids put the toys in their rooms away, again if they don't first thing in the morning time-out.  


mommas3cubs
by on Aug. 31, 2010 at 10:20 AM


Quoting tiffkenn06:

is your husband a baby to? my husband gets all his uniforms and pts ready the night before. I do a lot for him but he still has to act like an adult. Sounds like my day except i have one child and most times ill have to remind her shes eating as she has a short attention span. Id find a better way to get the most done in your day while not compromising any of your time with the kids.

Wait? Because she lays out her husbands uniform he is a baby? LMAO! I do that, and I assure you my husband is 100% man. Maybe she likes doing that for him.



possummom
by on Aug. 31, 2010 at 10:22 AM

stop doing your dh's uniforms. then he will have to get up early to do it himself or stay home and do it. either way....stop doing them. stop standing over your DD to make sure she eats. if she gets hungry enough she will eat weather you are standing there or not. i am sorry you are tired. sounds like you need a nite out. tell dh if he does not like the mess....then he can clean it up.

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