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Torn between lost time and more money...

Posted by on Aug. 31, 2010 at 10:50 AM
  • 14 Replies

So, I currently work part time (28-30 hrs/wk). I'm home by 3pm (work is an hour away, so I'm off by 2). monday-friday and saturdays are my late days, so I'm home by seven. DH works full time, usually 43ish hours a week. But, on monday nights, we do a live trivia show at our friend's bar. It brings in an extra couple hundred a month, plus I eat free (not to mention it's really fun). But, we've had an offer to do it on Wednesday nights, too, at a different bar close to an hour away from home.

Now, the problem I have with this is that on Mondays, when we work, my day goes like this.

I'm up at six thirty, get ready for work, stop and watch DS sleep for five minutes and kiss him goodbye and tell him I love him while he's still sleeping, off to work, home by 3pm. Change, get trivia stuff in order, DH comes home. DH changes and gets his stuff in order, off to the bar, do trivia, home by like eleven/midnightish. DS goes to daycare and my mom picks him up, he stays with her or my great grandparents and they take him to daycare the next morning. SO, I go an entire DAY AND NIGHT w/o my LO. Okay, not such a big deal, until you factor in that most Sats, my mom has DS, as well. So, that's two night a week w/o him. And if we added Wednesday, that just seems like so much more time that's gone.

The extra money would be really, really nice. We're paying off debts and a HUGE chunk of our money goes directly to student loans. We're having trouble getting our credit straight to buy our own house and forget being able to save more than fifty bucks a week.

Ugh. I already miss my DS. I could take him with us to the bar, but I just know what a disaster that would be. Not to mention, I don't really want him in a bar with people being loud and drunk at this age.

by on Aug. 31, 2010 at 10:50 AM
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Replies (1-10):
highbridgemom
by on Aug. 31, 2010 at 10:52 AM

Well, if you do this...how long would it take you to pay off your debts?  You may want to look at it that way. Like it's a temporary solution.

lyranightshade
by on Aug. 31, 2010 at 10:55 AM

Regardless, it's still going to take years from now. BUT we might be able to save up and rent a bigger, better place. A place that, I don't know.. actually has room for everyone. lol We're renting a fairly nice house.. it's just so.. SMALL. It didn't seem this way a few years ago when we moved in. But, we're outgrowing the place and we DO want number two. (Consequently, we're totally DONE after two.)

I just don't want to miss so MUCH of him right now, when he's learning the most and changing the most (not to mention, being super adorable.)

Quoting highbridgemom:

Well, if you do this...how long would it take you to pay off your debts?  You may want to look at it that way. Like it's a temporary solution.


lyranightshade
by on Aug. 31, 2010 at 10:58 AM

BUMP!

doodlepuss
by Bronze Member on Aug. 31, 2010 at 11:04 AM

I've put off going back to work until my boy is older.  Money is VERY tight right now but the hubs got a big promotion and it will get better soon.  I just can't put my son in daycare--it would break my heart.  In a few years I'm hoping my mom will keep him while I go back full time.

Can't you look into getting your student loans deferred for a few years?  I did that for a while and It gave me some breathing room until things got better.

KimmyShaw
by Ruby Member on Aug. 31, 2010 at 11:07 AM

I would rather have the time with my child over that extra $. I think one night a week doing it is fine but adding the other night would be too much.

lyranightshade
by on Aug. 31, 2010 at 11:10 AM

Where I am, they can't deferr them for years at a time. Only six-nine months at a time and they've been deferred to their maximum. It just doesn't help.
As for Daycare, DS LOVES it. He loves interracting with other kids. Does it suck that we're not able to do the SAHM/D thing? Sure. But.. there are other factors. A) We could do it... but, we'd be broke ALL THE TIME. We'd have no cushion at ALL if a major financial disaster came up.. i.e. a car died, major appliance died, major medical bills for DH (who can't get health insurance, thanks to a pre-existing condition clause in my medical coverage), etc.

B) I've done it before. I HATE it. I don't hate spending my days with my son.. I hate that I can't be stimulated in an adult environment. I lose myself.. I become a shoe-finder, butt-wiper, toy collector. I forget that I'm anything other than a mom and I get depressed.

Dh has done it and enjoys it a lot. BUT his job pays more than mine does and we can't do without it. His job would be why we could afford to do the SAHM thing at all.

Taking him out of daycare is NOT an option. DS would be miserable. I would be miserable. DH would be miserable because he'd be working hardcore overtime and never see either of us. We'd all be poor and miserable. lol This does NOT make for a happy environment.

I just  don't know that an extra three hundred-ish a month is worth that lost time.

Quoting doodlepuss:

I've put off going back to work until my boy is older.  Money is VERY tight right now but the hubs got a big promotion and it will get better soon.  I just can't put my son in daycare--it would break my heart.  In a few years I'm hoping my mom will keep him while I go back full time.

Can't you look into getting your student loans deferred for a few years?  I did that for a while and It gave me some breathing room until things got better.


lyranightshade
by on Aug. 31, 2010 at 11:13 AM

See, most of the time I feel that way. But then I think... I could DS this or that, we could take him here or there... We could do a lot more with him when we were together, you know? Maybe we could even get our cars tuned up and fixed completely and save on some gas money. We could... blah, blah, blah... and then, there's the prospect of owning our own home. Gah, what a dream that is.

But.. he's at this age where everything is new and wonderful and exciting and I miss him so, so much already.

Okay. How about this. I get someone to pay me three hundred a month to video document his adorableness! Think that'll work?

Quoting KimmyShaw:

I would rather have the time with my child over that extra $. I think one night a week doing it is fine but adding the other night would be too much.


themacs4
by on Aug. 31, 2010 at 11:17 AM

 You can't get time back.  That's the way I look at things. 

.kk.
by on Aug. 31, 2010 at 11:22 AM

My POV is different.

My grandfather always told me that hard work is for the young. When you are old, you can't work, you have no money AND your child will have to take care of you, if you haven't prepared for retirement.

I would rather have one less night per week with my child, but ensure a brighter, better future for them and ensure that when they are this age, and raising their own family, they don't have to take care of me as well.

It's a temporary job that could get you out of the  hole. I would use every penny to pay off my debts, fix my credit and fix my car, though. I wouldn't bother moving into a better place. I would use some of the money to take my son places, though.

lyranightshade
by on Aug. 31, 2010 at 11:54 AM

Man... I've read BOTH sides of the coin and that's what's going on in my head. I just... I miss him so much  ALREADY on those nights... and it's not like I can go get him after trivia. He's out cold by that point and I'm not dragging him out of a sound sleep at midnight just because I want him home. And DH has to work on Tuesdays. I'm off, luckily. DS is napping. Kinda. lol I hear him in his room talking to his cars... so.. quiet playtime when he's SUPPOSED to be napping. I have Tuesdays and Sundays off, he has Sat and Sun.

Quoting .kk.:

My POV is different.

My grandfather always told me that hard work is for the young. When you are old, you can't work, you have no money AND your child will have to take care of you, if you haven't prepared for retirement.

I would rather have one less night per week with my child, but ensure a brighter, better future for them and ensure that when they are this age, and raising their own family, they don't have to take care of me as well.

It's a temporary job that could get you out of the  hole. I would use every penny to pay off my debts, fix my credit and fix my car, though. I wouldn't bother moving into a better place. I would use some of the money to take my son places, though.


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