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The Dom/sub lifetyle....ask questions or add your experience here

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Okay ladies, here we are again.  I agree, the swinger thing has been over done lately lol!  So let's talk about the Dom/sub life.  I happen to be a sub, my Husband is my Dom.  I am 24/7, though I have more freedoms than some because we have young children and are far more discreet out of the bedroom than we are in it lol!  DH and I are fairly new to this, but we are learning a lot and I am happy to discuss it with any of you who would choose to ask.  So post your questions, comments, or your own experiences :)

by on Sep. 16, 2010 at 12:35 PM
Replies (261-270):
redhead-bedhead
by Platinum Member on Aug. 4, 2012 at 6:47 PM
All slaves are subs, but not all subs are slaves.

Quoting mamananaluv:

Is this the same thing as a slave? I have known couples where the wife is the slave. They usually walk around with a dog collar and leash and have to do what hubby says, including having sex with other people or in front of other people.

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redhead-bedhead
by Platinum Member on Aug. 4, 2012 at 6:50 PM
I am a sub. I had to step out of my role for a short period of time but I am in the process of resubmitting myself.
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Clairwil
by Silver Member on Aug. 7, 2012 at 4:57 PM
Quoting Kodysmommy928:

Do you have a daughter?  Would you honestly be ok with her wearing a dog collar and having to ask her husband permission to do things?  How about being punished by her husband if she steps out of line?

I want my daughter to be free.

If she's only free to live as I live, make the same decisions I made, then that's not freedom.

So, yes, women must be free to enter any type of relationship that they want, as long as they enter undeceived and uncoerced, and are willing to pay the consequences.

It is so tempting to say "She is free to enter any relationship that doesn't harm her, and I decide what 'harm' is.", but that's just another way of saying she isn't free to make different assessments of risks versus rewards.

mehaffiesub
by on Nov. 30, 2012 at 8:44 PM
Im in a D&S relationship as well.
To all the people critisizing a dom and sub relationship you must understand a sub is not a doormat to her dom. All subs are happy and willing to please their doms because thats what they want to do. They are NOT forced to do so they just do it cause they can and want to.
I have rules I must follow in my D&S relationship as well as u may have guessed my fiance is the Dom and I am the sub. If I break a rule I may get a spanking, or time out (bedroom time) but I have to say our D&S relatiomship has brought us closer and as mentioned before by other posters every D&S relationship is different.
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LaughingTattoo
by on Dec. 6, 2012 at 2:18 PM

Nice reply. My husband and I are delving into this type of relationship as well. I am VERY free spirited and am not the type to be a door mat. Nor will I ever be. And my husband adores that about me. I get equal say in everything in our relationship. There are rules for both of us. If he breaks a rule, I get a special privilage. If I break a rule, I recieve a punishment. The rules we have in place were set by the both of us. And they cam be altered at any point. We openly communicate with one another. He is HoH and he gets the ultimate say in things. Its very rare he excercises that however. Examples of rules for me are: Standard house cleaning (I SAH), personal maintenance, no condescending or rudeness (this was a big issue with me that I wanted to work on), no flirting (Im a natural flirt which is the only thing about me that can tick dh off), ect....

I suggested we try this lifestyle. For us it was my need for stability, a mans strength, and to not have control of everything. For once, Im allowed to let go and let someone else take over. Its brought us closer and makes me feel more secure. In everything else in my life, Im a dominant. Its nice to feel a bit like a "lady" as old fashioned as that sounds.

Were still working out the kinks but its working well for us both

Quoting mehaffiesub:

Im in a D&S relationship as well.
To all the people critisizing a dom and sub relationship you must understand a sub is not a doormat to her dom. All subs are happy and willing to please their doms because thats what they want to do. They are NOT forced to do so they just do it cause they can and want to.
I have rules I must follow in my D&S relationship as well as u may have guessed my fiance is the Dom and I am the sub. If I break a rule I may get a spanking, or time out (bedroom time) but I have to say our D&S relatiomship has brought us closer and as mentioned before by other posters every D&S relationship is different.


mehaffiesub
by on Dec. 6, 2012 at 4:24 PM
I have trouble with getting mad over little things so one of our rules is that I dont get mad over little stuff, its the hardest rule for me to keep.


Quoting LaughingTattoo:

Nice reply. My husband and I are delving into this type of relationship as well. I am VERY free spirited and am not the type to be a door mat. Nor will I ever be. And my husband adores that about me. I get equal say in everything in our relationship. There are rules for both of us. If he breaks a rule, I get a special privilage. If I break a rule, I recieve a punishment. The rules we have in place were set by the both of us. And they cam be altered at any point. We openly communicate with one another. He is HoH and he gets the ultimate say in things. Its very rare he excercises that however. Examples of rules for me are: Standard house cleaning (I SAH), personal maintenance, no condescending or rudeness (this was a big issue with me that I wanted to work on), no flirting (Im a natural flirt which is the only thing about me that can tick dh off), ect....


I suggested we try this lifestyle. For us it was my need for stability, a mans strength, and to not have control of everything. For once, Im allowed to let go and let someone else take over. Its brought us closer and makes me feel more secure. In everything else in my life, Im a dominant. Its nice to feel a bit like a "lady" as old fashioned as that sounds.


Were still working out the kinks but its working well for us both


Quoting mehaffiesub:

Im in a D&S relationship as well.
To all the people critisizing a dom and sub relationship you must understand a sub is not a doormat to her dom. All subs are happy and willing to please their doms because thats what they want to do. They are NOT forced to do so they just do it cause they can and want to.
I have rules I must follow in my D&S relationship as well as u may have guessed my fiance is the Dom and I am the sub. If I break a rule I may get a spanking, or time out (bedroom time) but I have to say our D&S relatiomship has brought us closer and as mentioned before by other posters every D&S relationship is different.



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mehaffiesub
by on Dec. 7, 2012 at 2:17 PM
I ask this to all on here:
Why do some people feel its unfair for a man to domanate a women but okay for a women to domanate a man?
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wildfire666
by New Member on Jul. 6, 2014 at 8:15 PM
Since I have been out of the loop for several years now, is it common practice for some to get tattooed after their training is complete?
TiredbutHappy1
by Bronze Member on Jul. 7, 2014 at 9:27 AM
I too am on fet and am a feisty sub. I am pretty new to all this and have yet to experience everything. I have had only one session...and for those who don't understand, sessions do not have to involvoe sex, mine didn't. It was such a freeing experience. I am so addicted to the floggers!!! The one he used did not cause pain..at first it just felt like a gentle thump and before long it felt like I was getting a massage. I loved it!!!

I do have a question...what is HoH? To me, as I am deaf, HoH in the deaf community stands for Hard of Hearing. Ive never seen HoH used outside the deaf community.


Oh and we should start our own group...Cafemom Subs or something like that. A place where we can talk about bdsm without people like TheChosenOne being mean.
angel0417
by New Member on Oct. 2, 2014 at 12:47 PM

im just curious how you make the D/s relationship work being you do have kids me and my dom are having trouble with this we have 3 young children and my days with them are not always the same and even when trying to schedual the lifestyle around the kids it seems not to work as the kids take a lot of attention and i work third shift so this also makes things hard can you give me any advice.


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