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How often does your husband get to go out by himself?

Posted by on Sep. 28, 2010 at 9:21 AM
  • 93 Replies

Personally I feel my marriage is going down the toilet, my husband is hours late coming home from work several times a week and either drunk or high on something (he smokes that spike, legal weed crap  guess)

Anyways this has been a constant battle for 5 years. I think he has a drinking problem there have been times he didn't even come home, during the week or on weekends.

He goes out for hours on the weekends sometimes etc. I am always home with the kids 24/7.

Anyhow, he thinks everything is fine, I asked him to stop drinking for 30 days he didn't even go 2 weeks after he promised me to try.

He feels he should be able to hang out with the guys whenever he wants and I should not be mad about it because he doesn't hit me or cheat.

Plus, he says I can go out whenever but I have no friends here, no money to do anything, don't drink, etc. I don't really feel the need to go party either.

Even if I don't go out, that doesn't mean he needs to for the both of us!

Anyways, how often do you think it is appropriate for your husband to go out by himself?

PS. I have told him how I feel, that I hate it, he has promised to stop but it never lasts long, he just starts doing it again. I am really trying to decide now if it is time to leave because this has been ongoing and no matter what I have said and done the last several years, it never gets fixed.

by on Sep. 28, 2010 at 9:21 AM
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Replies (1-10):
by Platinum Member on Sep. 28, 2010 at 9:22 AM

never because he cheated and I don't trust him.  were getting getting a divorce.

by Elizabeth on Sep. 28, 2010 at 9:24 AM

Mine doesnt go "out by himself"...but he isnt into the bar scene either. He's either at work, (he works nights), home...or twice a month he's at one of his shows. He's in a band.

I guess if he does go out by himself, its to the store or whatever. lol

Also..he doesnt drink or do drugs..not even legal ones.

by Platinum Member on Sep. 28, 2010 at 9:24 AM

my dh doesn't ever o out without me in that type of setting., he does go to the firing range with his work friends sometimes - but I am always invited to go too, and sometimes I do and sometimes I don't. dh would never be going out nites getting drunk - he has a family at home that is more important. it's time for your dh to grow up and take responsibility for his family. 

by on Sep. 28, 2010 at 9:25 AM

I don't care how often he goes out, but he is one that likes to be with his family so doesn't go out very often.  I encourage it though. 

What your hubby is doing is disrespectful to you and your marriage. 

by on Sep. 28, 2010 at 9:25 AM

every day, its called work LOL

by on Sep. 28, 2010 at 9:26 AM

If my hubby wanted to he could go out with friends every now and then and have some fun. But I got lucky my husband goes to work and comes home afterwards and spends time with me and the kids. and on the weekends if he is not working he is with us as well. If I were in your shoes, I would have already let him go. Once every now and then is fine, but when you believe there is a problem such as drinking to much than it needs to stop or the relationship would have to end. this is just my opinion I wish the best.

by on Sep. 28, 2010 at 9:26 AM

My husband and I go out as often as we would like within reason. Meaning, if he wanted to go out seven nights a week or if I did we would let one another unless it was a busy week on the calendar. With that said, we plan our months out 3-6 months in advance and we don't cancel things we had planned to do as a family. We know in May the days we will go apple picking in Sept. and the days we will go to the pumpkin patch in Oct. or skiing as a family through Dec. 

We then plan days out around what are friends would like to do and when. Usually though, we don't go out more than two- three times a week unless it's March Madness or college Bowl games are airing. 

Besides, as a general rule we enjoy spending our time together or going out as a couple. 

by on Sep. 28, 2010 at 9:27 AM

My DH is an adult, so he can go out whenever he wants. I could do the same, but we love and respect each other, so we rarely go out without each other. My DH is the only adult person I really want to spend time with anyway and he feels the same about me. I do think it is perfectly healthy for a relationship if you have time with just you and your friends. It is nice to get away for a little while and recharge your batteries. I trust my DH completely.

by on Sep. 28, 2010 at 9:27 AM

My husband has gone out without me 3 times since our daughter was born, 19 months ago.
And all 3 times he came home around 11-12 and wasn't loaded/high.

by on Sep. 28, 2010 at 9:27 AM

My dh doesn't really go out with friends much. Sometimes he'll call them up or visit them but he doesn't drink or smoke. If they hang out it is at their homes or go out to eat somewhere. I certainly wouldn't think it would be appropriate for him to be partying like he's single.  We both got that out of our system before we got married. If he wanted to go out and not come home and stuff I'd be gone. I don't need another child to take care of.

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