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Well I just don't know what to do, would you?*this is pretty long*

Posted by on Sep. 28, 2010 at 9:54 AM
  • 13 Replies

I have 3 kids 5,6 and 10. I was a SAHM for 8 years. 2 years ago while I was staying home my SIL had her first child. She was a "whoops", and even though they are in a committed relationship(now married) they just didn't have a plan for child care. My mil at that time said she would take the child (me niece) on days that she doesn't have her other daughters child(my nephew). Her other daughter is a nurse and works 2 days every week, but those days change every week. There is no consistency.

So at that time I wasn't working and said I would take my neice. For nothing of course, no payment at all. Well those 2 days turned into my neice coming here every week day morning for an hour before my MIL picked her up and then 2 full 9 hour days.

2 of my kids are in school and my youngest goes 2 days a week for 2 1/2 hours each. He's pretty much home with me. So in the 2 years since she's been born there has never been a real issue with her coming here.

Well....I went back to work. I work  flexible full time now. On average I work about 32 hours a week.

We don't use child care and I am still home most afternoons with my son(if I'm not here my husband is), but I'm tired now. Much more tired then I was.

I mentioned to my husband that I didn't want to watch my niece anymore. He sort of blew it off and said he wasn't doing that to his sister. (on the afternoons I'm not here he is willing to watch his niece, but he hasn't actually done it yet so I don't know he'll still feel that way once he does, lol).

So here's where I'm stuck. I honestly don't want to do it anymore. I stayed home with mine when they were really young because working and properly taking care of 3 young kids was just too much for me. I just don't want a 2yo here when I'm off. It's more work then I want to put in right now.

But, this is family. I know they can't afford daycare right now and I know that if I don't watch her that means my mil has 2 kids (2 and 3) two days a week. Which I don't want to do to her. she raised her 7 kids and I think it's sad that her daughters just dump their kids off with her.

So I don't know what I'm asking? Advice? I know it's just two days and I can physically do it. But it boils down to the fact that I just don't want to anymore. Given all this information what would you do?

by on Sep. 28, 2010 at 9:54 AM
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Replies (1-10):
Sarina.c.c
by Reen on Sep. 28, 2010 at 9:57 AM
If you don't want to then don't. But here is a bump :)
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imthatgirl728
by on Sep. 28, 2010 at 9:59 AM

How do I stop something I started? This is family, I just don't know how to tell her I don't want to do it anymore.

Teeshann
by Ruby Member on Sep. 28, 2010 at 10:00 AM

 if you don't want to then don't and if hubby wants to then MAKE him do it. don't let him say he's watching her and you end up doing it.

coolmommy2x
by Ruby Member on Sep. 28, 2010 at 10:01 AM
It's thoughtful that you don't want to overwhelm your MIL but if it's too much for her, she can say no. You could watch niece 1 day and have MIL take her the other day as a compromise. If SIL and DH aren't OK with that, let them find a solution.
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Lori_G4
by on Sep. 28, 2010 at 10:01 AM

If you don't want to do it, just tell her. It's always nice to be able to help family and friends out, but you and your family come first. You are working full-time, and you have your own kids to look after. I can't say I blame you; I'd be tired too. I know you're worried about family drama, but even though everyone will be mad for a while, they'll eventually get over it. GL!

sh2991ba
by on Sep. 28, 2010 at 10:02 AM

bump

imthatgirl728
by on Sep. 28, 2010 at 10:03 AM

Well there is no option.He's only home Tuesday and Wednesday. I am gone one of those days all day. So if she comes that day he won't have an option whetehr he watches her or not. I didn't really make it clear that I didn't want her coming on days I didn't work either. Like I said I mentioned it, he sort of blew it off....but we really didn't talk about it.


 if you don't want to then don't and if hubby wants to then MAKE him do it. don't let him say he's watching her and you end up doing it.


littleluvkitty
by Platinum Member on Sep. 28, 2010 at 10:04 AM

maybe talk to your sister in law and see if maybe there is someone else that is willing to take the child. or just deal with it. = ) maybe over time you will get used to it.

imthatgirl728
by on Sep. 28, 2010 at 10:04 AM

I hadn't thought of that. One day a week isn't so bad. I don't want to do it, but maybe a compromise is a good idea.

Quoting coolmommy2x:

It's thoughtful that you don't want to overwhelm your MIL but if it's too much for her, she can say no. You could watch niece 1 day and have MIL take her the other day as a compromise. If SIL and DH aren't OK with that, let them find a solution.


ILive4This
by on Sep. 28, 2010 at 10:06 AM

Maybe just tell sil what you told us....but tell her you'll do it until she can find another sitter.

 

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