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What do I do??

Posted by on Sep. 28, 2010 at 4:30 PM
  • 6 Replies

 A little over a month ago my SO & I moved in together.  Along with us we each brought children fulltime into the home.  He has 2 ds (6 & almost 4) that he has fulltime & I have a dd who is 3. 

His boys have adjusted to the change rather well, my daughter on the other hand is a completely different story.  It seems like she is miserable being there.  She is acting out terribly & just seems like a completely different person. 

His boys insist on playing in her room, they refuse to play in their room or the living room but only in her room...she likes to play by herself & do her own thing so she is always telling them to get out of her room etc which then causes a huge fight.  So if I make her let them play in her room then his youngest ds decides that he HAS to have whatever she is playing with & then it starts another fight or him throwing a fit.

I don't know how to make the change any easier for her & I don't know what kinds of rules I should set for them on playing etc.  My SO works nights & is gone from 12-9 about 6 days a week so it is just me with them all the time. I'm so stressed out & I just want the fighting to stop & make the change a little easier for my dd.

Can anyone help me??? Please!

by on Sep. 28, 2010 at 4:30 PM
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Replies (1-6):
Mommy2One881
by on Sep. 28, 2010 at 4:33 PM

Make a rule that it is her room and unless she give them permission to be in it they can't. She should have her own private space.

paigesmommy925
by on Sep. 28, 2010 at 4:36 PM

 My friend suggested that but I didn't know if at 3 & 4 they would understand.  I think that is something I am going to have to try tonight.

Quoting Mommy2One881:

Make a rule that it is her room and unless she give them permission to be in it they can't. She should have her own private space.

 

oboe_chik
by on Sep. 28, 2010 at 4:38 PM
Yea that's what i would suggest. My kids have toys in their rooms as well as their playroom. They can't go into each others rooms without permission. Sometimes hey just need alone time. I can't blame her.

Quoting paigesmommy925:

 My friend suggested that but I didn't know if at 3 & 4 they would understand.  I think that is something I am going to have to try tonight.


Quoting Mommy2One881:


Make a rule that it is her room and unless she give them permission to be in it they can't. She should have her own private space.


 

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Elijahsmommy508
by on Sep. 28, 2010 at 4:41 PM

I think children should always be able to have alone time.  They will understand the rule, even if they don't understand the reason.  Let them all know that if they want to be alone then they can play in their room and if someone wants to play with them they have to ask but they don't have to play with them if they don't want. 

NearSeattleMom
by Ruby Member on Sep. 28, 2010 at 7:57 PM

I think parents overestimate how children will adjust.  This is a really hard transition for her. 

I'd make her room off-limits to the boys.  She needs her own space where she can feel safe and play by herself.

Good luck.

nemiller
by on Sep. 28, 2010 at 8:01 PM

i would make a rule that it's her room, and it's her choice if and when they can play in there.  whenever they go in her room or she asks them to leave, start them on a new game or activity somewhere else.  if she's already having a tough time, she needs to know she has at least a little space that's only hers.  could you try to get them playing together elsewhere?  take them to the park, plan a fun day out of the house, or even suggest that they invite her to play in their room for a little bit.

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