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Birthday party question

Posted by on Sep. 28, 2010 at 5:00 PM
  • 8 Replies
I'm trying to decide whether or not to invite CIL & her DS to DD's birthday party next month. I kinda feel bad for thinking about not inviting them but we had problems @ DS' birthday back in July. He was constantly taking things away from DS. Tried to take over the cake when it came time for him to blow out the candles. Then when it came time to open the gifts he kept taking them from DS so that he could open them. Here is my problem. CIL was literally right next to him the entire time. She didn't do anything about it. I kept telling him that it wasn't his birthday & that he couldn't open the gifts. He got mad every time & would scream. Still CIL didn't do anything. She just sat there. I had to move DS away to open his gifts. He kept grabbing them anyway. I told him he couldn't open them & took the gifts & gave them back to DS. He ended up slapping me in the face & CIL still didn't do anything. Would you want them @ your child's birthday party??? I would feel bad but @ the same time this is DD's 1st birthday party & I don't want the same thing to happen.
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by on Sep. 28, 2010 at 5:00 PM
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Replies (1-8):
LilLily1110
by on Sep. 28, 2010 at 5:04 PM

I wouldn't. Did you say anything to CIL when all of this was happening?

PinaiAngelPai15
by Gold Member on Sep. 28, 2010 at 5:07 PM
Yes I did. I asked MIL to take over for a bit while I pulled her aside & talked to her. She used to live here & expects everyone else to intervene whenever he does something. Then she'd get mad. She even sat there & watched him push DS down the stairs & throw stuff & DD & didn't do anything about it.

Quoting LilLily1110:

I wouldn't. Did you say anything to CIL when all of this was happening?

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LilLily1110
by on Sep. 28, 2010 at 5:10 PM

 No way would I invite them... If CIL asked about it I'd tell her that they weren't invited because she can't control her ds and you didn't want him ruining dd's party

Quoting PinaiAngelPai15:

Yes I did. I asked MIL to take over for a bit while I pulled her aside & talked to her. She used to live here & expects everyone else to intervene whenever he does something. Then she'd get mad. She even sat there & watched him push DS down the stairs & throw stuff & DD & didn't do anything about it.

Quoting LilLily1110:

I wouldn't. Did you say anything to CIL when all of this was happening?

 

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Bknotnobody
by on Sep. 28, 2010 at 5:12 PM

Nope, I wouldn't invite them either.

LancesMom
by Ruby Member on Sep. 28, 2010 at 9:01 PM

I would not invite them. It will make the day go much easier.

WhitleyLyles
by on Sep. 28, 2010 at 9:04 PM
I would not invite them either.
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JeanEMc
by on Sep. 28, 2010 at 9:10 PM

What if you had your son open his gifts as each guest arrived?  That's what I do with my DD's parties, and she's almost ten.  That way she can personally thank each giver immediately, and other kids don't have to sit around and watch someone open a pile of presents - which is SOOOOO boring, even for me.  PLus, then we get on to the PARTY part!

You could also get the CIL's DS a little toy just for him; then you have a place to re-direct him if he tries to grab stuff.

The party is, in my mind, about family and celebration, not about stuff.

PinaiAngelPai15
by Gold Member on Sep. 29, 2010 at 12:57 AM
I make treat bags for ALL of the children. I did for DS' first & second birthday & plan to for DD too. Each treat bag has candy & toys in them. They all have the same toys, candy, & an activity book & he did get one @ the party. I know cuz I handed it to him myself. It's not just the gifts though. He also tried to take over the cake & take all of DS' baggy toys & gifts. I don't want to exclude him but I also don't want him to do the same thing @ DD's birthday party. Especially since it's her first birthday & DH will just be coming home from deployment. His mom doesn't do anything whenever he does anything. She just sits there & watches him do all this. If she would actually do something about it I wouldn't be considering not inviting them.

Quoting JeanEMc:

What if you had your son open his gifts as each guest arrived?  That's what I do with my DD's parties, and she's almost ten.  That way she can personally thank each giver immediately, and other kids don't have to sit around and watch someone open a pile of presents - which is SOOOOO boring, even for me.  PLus, then we get on to the PARTY part!


You could also get the CIL's DS a little toy just for him; then you have a place to re-direct him if he tries to grab stuff.


The party is, in my mind, about family and celebration, not about stuff.

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