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Wedding invitation question...PLEASE HELP!!!

Posted by on Sep. 28, 2010 at 5:05 PM
  • 7 Replies

I'm having a bit of a dilemma.....We are budgeting for a 100 person reception. Ok well, now, with my parents guest list added to ours we're almost at our limit, but there's a few people that I can't imagine not being there. So I have a few questions...

1-Can I invite a single person and not put "and guest" on the invitation without being tacky?

2-How do I invite relatives, without their grown "children" (well in their 30's...)

3-Should I take my mom up on her offer for her to pay for her "table" of guests?!?

  I don't want to be tacky, but we are reallllly trying to stick to our budget...and if we don't do something with this guest list we're going to go over! Thanks Ladies!!

by on Sep. 28, 2010 at 5:05 PM
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Replies (1-7):
CAMKsMom
by on Sep. 28, 2010 at 5:28 PM

1---Dear____, I am really looking forward to the big day.  I hope that you will be able to make it.  Please RSVP as soon as you can and let me know whether or not you are coming. Love,____________

2---Dear_____, I am really looking forward to the big day.  I hope that you (or you and_____) will be able to make it.  Can't wait to see you (or you and____)! Love,_______

3---Yes :-)  But make sure she is doing that as a gift and isn't expecting to be paid back. :-P  You could just say, "Mom it would be great if you paid for the table...Is there anything I can do to repay your kindness?"

lucky2Beeme
by Platinum Member on Sep. 28, 2010 at 5:35 PM

Wedding invites if adressed to Mr smith. Means only mr smith is invited.  Same goes for relatives. Mr & mrs smith means Just them not anyne else related to them. Yes I would take my mom up on the offer. My niece and her fiancee are paying for their own wedding. Her mother was not allowed to give a list. I think thats horrible. their next door neighbor was like a mom to this girl(was her daycare person for years) Yet  my sister can't invite them.


ForeverMeme
by on Sep. 28, 2010 at 5:39 PM

I would take mom up on her offer to pay for her guest list. Congrats on the marriage!

 

BethPrice1345
by on Sep. 28, 2010 at 5:40 PM

Figure in the fact that the people who you really want there, may not be able to make it or will have to cancel last minute. Sucks, but it happens. So, if you invite 125 ppl, only expect 90-100.

I think it's pretty standard that a single person can bring a guest, whether it's on the invite or not, so expect some to bring someone with them...but also consider the fact that not everyone will.

To invite relative without their grown children, simply address the invite to them and don't mail the grown kids an invite. I'm sure if there is confusion they will call your parents and they can explain that it's a small ceremony, etc.

If it were my mom she would be offended if I didn't accept her offer.

lifehappy
by on Sep. 28, 2010 at 5:41 PM

1. No, not really...It should be Mr. or Ms. & Guest

2. If their children are adults and you want to invite them, they get a seperate invite. If not, only address the envelope to the parents:  Mr. & Mrs. John Doe. If they take it upon themselves to include their adult children, they're tacky.

3. Yes, but clarify if it's a gift or a payback BEFORE she commits to it.

sarasloveable
by on Sep. 28, 2010 at 5:41 PM
Agree


Quoting lucky2Beeme:

Wedding invites if adressed to Mr smith. Means only mr smith is invited.  Same goes for relatives. Mr & mrs smith means Just them not anyne else related to them. Yes I would take my mom up on the offer. My niece and her fiancee are paying for their own wedding. Her mother was not allowed to give a list. I think thats horrible. their next door neighbor was like a mom to this girl(was her daycare person for years) Yet  my sister can't invite them.




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RLSMOM59
by on Sep. 28, 2010 at 6:17 PM

IMO I would ask my nother who she wanted to invite and try to accommadate her guest. After her guest are in place, I would then start inviting family and friends from obth sides. Normally the female invites more people which I think is totally unfair since it not "her wedding" but "their wedding". If money is tight, look to see where you can cut costs. For example most guest want an open bar. However, if a person leaving your reception is drunk and drives, you can be held liable. Think about shutting the bar done 1 hour before the reception is over. If you haven't purchase your dress, maybe reduce that budget a couple of hundred dollars.

For some reason, people just assume when they receive an invitation it is menat for the whole family and then some. It is proper to address the invitation to specific people and have them RVSP with each person's name. You can then customize the favor with the person's name. It may be a little more work but it will allow you to know who is coming.

Some brides will invite people to the wedding and not the reception. I find that tacky. Oh, finally, I would NEVER take my mother up on paying for a guest table after she had supported me for 16 years. I would not invite some of my firend and do a smaller party with them.

Congratulations and enjoy the day!

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