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moms with children with asperger's...especially those with teenage or adult chilren

Posted by on Sep. 28, 2010 at 7:32 PM
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ok, i am gonna try to not be as offensive as possible. If i come across offensively, i am sorry and i am making this thread to understand and educate myself. Bear with me. Is it true that people with aspergers have a very hard time picking up on social cues and getting along with people? I have a classmate that i reconnected with from hs. I am not sure i want to continue the friendship. I feel more like his therapist than his friend. This person has scared and innapropriatly approached several female classmates online. He tells married women they look "hot", he freind requests them and if they reject it, he obsessively messages them demanding to know why. He leaves borderline innapropriate comments on photos. Many people he "friended" in the past have blocked him because he is somewhat of a nucience and very forceful and pushy with his persuing of females. I felt sorry for him so i have been trying to help him understand normal human interaction ( such as why people back away when someone comes across strong)
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by on Sep. 28, 2010 at 7:32 PM
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frndlyfn
by Emerald Member on Sep. 28, 2010 at 7:38 PM

Has anyone told him saying these things makes them feel uncomfortable? I dont have any children with asbergers but have had friends with it, they tended to be more shy and kept to themself.

aka_speezolove
by on Sep. 28, 2010 at 7:39 PM
adding to above because mobile won't let me type more in the box....... I have been trying to help him understand and he comes to me for advise, but his online behavior continues to be innapropriate. He "calls people out" by their full names on his status, as well as public figures (judges and police) and businesses. He is convinced everyone is biased and prejudice and discriminating against him(his words) yet he has 9 orders of protection against him and recently spent 12 days in jail for violating on of them. I blocked him from seeing everything on my facebook and he approached me in public and demanded to know why. Is this normal Asperger's behavior ? What should I do? I want to be sensitive towards him, but i'm at the end of my rope.
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aka_speezolove
by on Sep. 28, 2010 at 7:41 PM
yes! I have told him personally when hes done it to me and others have too. Thats when he reverts to his "victim" role of saying people are discriminating against him. I used to think his heart was in the right place, but more and more his behaior is obsessive and frightening.

Quoting frndlyfn:

Has anyone told him saying these things makes them feel uncomfortable? I dont have any children with asbergers but have had friends with it, they tended to be more shy and kept to themself.

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Cheribomb
by on Sep. 28, 2010 at 7:41 PM

i thought that was exactly what aspergers is... autism with social difficulties

laranadtony
by Emerald Member on Sep. 28, 2010 at 7:42 PM

They do have problems with social issues.When you deal with them,it is a hard balance to be friendly without sending out the wrong message since they don't get a lot of things,like sarcasm and body language.

My son has to be told"I am not interested in your as a boyfriend.You are a nice guy but we are friends!That is all!"

aka_speezolove
by on Sep. 28, 2010 at 7:43 PM
me too. But are these actions he is displaying normal aspergers behavior or something else? Should i stop trying to help him since he is scaring me or what do i do?

Quoting Cheribomb:

i thought that was exactly what aspergers is... autism with social difficulties

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bupkie
by on Sep. 28, 2010 at 7:44 PM

 Is it true that people with aspergers have a very hard time picking up on social cues and getting along with people?  Yes, social issues are difficult for aspies.   However, being forceful and pushy and persuing people aggressively isn't a common trait of Aspergers .... (or one that I've seen...)    

This particular behavior you are describing isn't an Aspergers trait.... it's inappropriate behavior...   

 


laranadtony
by Emerald Member on Sep. 28, 2010 at 7:46 PM


Quoting bupkie:

 Is it true that people with aspergers have a very hard time picking up on social cues and getting along with people?  Yes, social issues are difficult for aspies.   However, being forceful and pushy and persuing people aggressively isn't a common trait of Aspergers .... (or one that I've seen...)    

This particular behavior you are describing isn't an Aspergers trait.... it's inappropriate behavior...   

 


I was told totally different.

I was told that the pushiness and agressiveness comes with the obsessions,be it a girl,a car,or a piece of cake.

That was by a dr by the way that deals ONLY with asperger's.

We should be in awe at the gift of having children rather than obsessed by our rights as a mother!

aka_speezolove
by on Sep. 28, 2010 at 7:48 PM
see, i tried being frank with him, but he just reverts to a "victim" role and says everyone is prejudice against him. Its like talking in circles. I really don't wanna hurt his feelings, but i am not sure i have the patience to be his friend. Does that make me a horrible person? I feel like one. :(

Quoting laranadtony:

They do have problems with social issues.When you deal with them,it is a hard balance to be friendly without sending out the wrong message since they don't get a lot of things,like sarcasm and body language.


My son has to be told"I am not interested in your as a boyfriend.You are a nice guy but we are friends!That is all!"

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aka_speezolove
by on Sep. 28, 2010 at 7:51 PM
is his behavior something to actually fear? I really am getting a "fight or flight" feeling about him now.
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