Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

alcoholic help

Posted by on Sep. 28, 2010 at 11:19 PM
  • 8 Replies
my father in law is an alcoholic. My husband and I want to talk with him about it and almost do an intervention type thing. Do any of you guys, know how or what to say. How to convince him that he needs help and show him how badly this is hurting the family. And ideas, tips, anything would be appreciated. thank you
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
by on Sep. 28, 2010 at 11:19 PM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-8):
armywife2009101
by on Sep. 28, 2010 at 11:19 PM

BUMP!

Manda369
by on Sep. 29, 2010 at 3:47 AM

The best advice I can give you is speak calmly, and explain to him the reasons you feel it has become a problem.  Speak from the heart. Offer support if he chooses to stop.  But ultimately you can't decide for him.  Alcoholism is an addiction and the longer an addiction goes on the more damaging it is to a person's health as well as its harder to break the habit.

nessy1980
by on Sep. 29, 2010 at 4:00 AM

 You cant convince a alcoholic to stop. My parents were alcoholics and my mom stopped and drinks once in a blue moon and my dad stopped and started again. What made my dad stop was when he cracked his wrist. I begged and pleaded  with my mom to stop and she didnt stop until she wanted to.

fairymom2316
by on Sep. 29, 2010 at 9:46 AM

bump

angel112
by on Oct. 4, 2010 at 9:07 PM
I wanted to thank everyone who helped me out on this. We did the intervention and it went amazingly well. He addmited he had a problem and is going to get help.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Jessand2boys
by on Oct. 4, 2010 at 9:10 PM

 he has to want to stop..

Leener3
by on Oct. 4, 2010 at 9:16 PM

Is your FIL married?  Are there any other children beside your husband?  Does your FIL have any siblings?  I think if you have more people you will have more luck.  An intervention is essentially saying "we love you and we want to help but we will not be part of your drinking any more."  Are you willing to force your FIL to make a choice?  Just don't say it if you don't mean it and don't say it if you expect what your saying to automatically sink in.  In my experience alcoholics are very self people and very manipulative people.  Its all about the drink. They may feel bad that their actions are hurting you but tif asked to choose, most don't care as much about you as they do their next drink.  Its all consuming.  They are not afraid to bowl anyone down who gets between them and their bottle.  He probably won't take it well.  Is your husband ok with this?  

judybant
by on Oct. 4, 2010 at 9:24 PM

 he needs to hit rock bottom. I have a sister in law who was just put in jail for her 4th offense drunk driving... 6 months in jail, and $8000.00 in fines, plus, it's a felony for the 4th offense, so she can no longer own fire arms, which takes her away from her favorite recreational activity, deer hunting next month, nor can she vote again, and she went to her court ordered rehab, and a week after she got out, she went to her AA meeting, and then stopped at the bar to celebrate a week out of rehab, and was arrested for her 5th offense. She still doesn't think she has a problem. I love her to death, but she's not going to live much longer at the rate she's going, and the only way to touch her is through family. She's no longer welcome at any family gatherings, and she's about to lose the job she's had for 30 years, as well... we're hoping that she'll finally realize what she's done to herself, and will really quit. You need to find what is important to him, and then work it from that angle. If it's his grandkids, then you need to tell him, AND BACK IT UP, that he can no longer see them if he's had even one drop of alcohol. Tell him you'll no longer help him kill himself, and will stop enabling him. Go to ALANON meetings, and ask for their help. They will help you learn what it is that you can do to help him, help himself, because the fact is, HE is the only one who can decide that he's got a problem with alcohol. YOU can't tell him he's an alcoholic.

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)