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POLL: Why Do Some Men Become Deadbeat Dads?

Posted by on Sep. 29, 2010 at 2:17 PM
  • 91 Replies

 

Poll

Question: Why Do Some Men Become Deadbeat Dads?

Options:

1. They weren't ready for and did not want a family.

2. They met another woman who brainwashed them into forgetting about the man's previous family/children.

3. They are immature and selfish.

1 and 2

1 and 3

2 and 3

1, 2 and 3

None of the above.


Only group members can vote in this poll.

Total Votes: 153

View Results

Please discuss the reasons why you think some men become deadbeat dads.  Also, please explain your definition of a deadbeat dad.

by on Sep. 29, 2010 at 2:17 PM
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Replies (1-10):
futureshock
by Dr. Futureshock on Sep. 29, 2010 at 2:18 PM

BUMP!

futureshock
by Dr. Futureshock on Sep. 29, 2010 at 2:19 PM

My definition of a deadbeat dad is a man who falls seriously behind in his child support payments, or he doesn't pay at all, and it is not because of an illness or job loss.

ErikaM27
by on Sep. 29, 2010 at 2:21 PM

They are immature and selfish. IMO no person can force another to just stop being responsible. A woman can tell a man to forget about his kids and move on but if he's a real man he won't.

BlessedToBeMe
by on Sep. 29, 2010 at 2:21 PM

IMO, anyone who runs away from their responsiblity as a parent is just being selfish. When you have a child, whether it was planned or not, life stops being just about you.

Deadbeat parent to me is someone who doesn't have any involvement with their child; mentally, physically or financially(& before I hear it, this in no way pertains to ppl who put their children up for adoption)

MamiJaAyla
by Silver Member on Sep. 29, 2010 at 2:22 PM

I clicked selfish and immature... and I truly feel that.  At least with several deadbeat dads (what I mean by that is that they contribute very little to nothing towards their children's upkeep... and yes they can stay in touch and still be deadbeats).

Its almost like men just think diff.  out of sight/out of mind... they don't see they bills or barely see the child and don't have the responsiblity *IMMATURITY) and therefor they just don't even deal with it.

Even if they said that they wanted kids, pushed for them, are more than old enough to be ready... it just doesn't seem to click.

SweeThang931
by on Sep. 29, 2010 at 2:22 PM
Who the hell knows why men do half the things they do? My Ds dad suddenly decided after I got pregnant that he didn't want to be a dad and then decided at my sons first birthday that he wanted to be in his sons life. Idk why. I'm just grateful he is back in Ds life.


Quoting futureshock:

My definition of a deadbeat dad is a man who falls seriously behind in his child support payments, or he doesn't pay at all, and it is not because of an illness or job loss.


Posted on CafeMom Mobile
KyliesMom5
by Platinum Member on Sep. 29, 2010 at 2:22 PM

 Genetics!  My husband walked out on me 4 months ago and is now doing the same things his Dad did to him and his siblings.  That and he is enjoying the bachelor life at the moment. 

So far my definition is that he is selfish and does not try to be apart of our childs life even just by calling her. He does send money for her but when he is with her he wants to hang with his friends more then spend one on one time with her. 

RissaBusch
by on Sep. 29, 2010 at 2:22 PM

 My definition of a dead beat is a man that has no desire to be in a child's life financially or emotionally.  I guess the men that I've seen and labeled as dead beats were the ones that were all about having the baby until the baby was born and then got out of dodge.

I think immaturity has a lot to do with it. 

notjstanothrmom
by Ruby Member on Sep. 29, 2010 at 2:22 PM

There are tons of reasons.

QueenFelicia
by on Sep. 29, 2010 at 2:23 PM

 I would add men who do nothing with their children even if they are paying child support. I think men who do not participate in childcare at all or act like it is an incovenience to change diapers, bath a child, do homework, go to games, play with their child, etc are pretty much deadbeats, too.

Quoting futureshock:

My definition of a deadbeat dad is a man who falls seriously behind in his child support payments, or he doesn't pay at all, and it is not because of an illness or job loss.

 

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