Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

my 16 yr old sister wants to move in with us *again**UPDATE!!!! REALLLLLY NOW??? LMAO**

Posted by on Dec. 9, 2010 at 2:37 PM
  • 78 Replies

and im having mixed feelings about it. she is living in the city right now ( she ran away from moms) in an apt with 8 other people, all of whom have substance abuse problems. sdhe is trying to go to school, but keeps getting the shit kicked out of her by the natives. ( she is blonde haired and blue eyed.....and very white) the last time they beat her up she was put in hospital with internal bleeding, but refused to press charges fearing retaliation.  she called me the other day begging me to let her come live with me and swore she would go to school in a nearby town, stop drinking and behave. i told her i would think about it. previously we had discussed having her move in, and my mom put the kibosh on it. well now mom thinks it's a good idea. dh says to do whatever i want ( thats a lot of help honey!) BUT...our life is so peacful and things are all going great and i am not sure bringing her here to live would be such a great idea. she has lived with my other sisters and they said it was a bad idea. "prepare to be stolen from, have all you liquer drank ( dh usualy has at least SOME in the house) money stolen.....cars stolen..ect ect."
last year, my cousin came to stay with us, he was desperate to get out of the city and start a new life,well we brought him out here, hooked him up with not one, but 2 jobs, at the gas station and the town bar....well he ended up stealing dh's derby car, stealing from the bar, stole our flatscreen tv (which was brand fuckin new) and taking off back to the city.

it reflected very badly on us, especialy me, because he was MY family....
on one hand, i want to help her, i really do....on the other...shes a theif a lier and, hate to say it, shes a slut.
sigh. the choice is mine....but i dont know what to do.....my family and our sanity and serenity comes first to me.
my older sister says " she made her bed, let her lay in it"....

 

SO ONE OF MY OTHER SISTERS CALLED ME(we will call her liz ( 16 YR OLD USED TO LIVE WITH HER TOO)  and guess what? one of her painters (she is a contractor) hangs out with 16 yr old (we will call her rocky) and rockt told her that " living with **me** would be awsome because 'i smoke weed and drink beer and it will be one big party anyways' REEEEEAAALLLLLY NOW? lmao...no...maybe i USED to...before i got preggers i smoked weed,and i quit while preggers.  and i will admit i got a joint form a friend of mine recently..it lasted me a week ( hey! 2 puffs, outside, no more cramps..ahhh) and i dont drink. so....one big party eh??? reeeally now...hmmmm.....that little shit thinks living with me will be  cakewalk? and that she will be able to do anything she wants? um no.....sorry...dh has drinks abbout 1 or 2 x a month, and we go into town. i'm the dd. (designated driver, not dear daughter) that is the extent of our "party life" and we have not, and probably wont be, going out at all much anymore, because we have a newborn. so huh...im just laughing to myself right now...what did she think i meant when i said no drugging no drinking, our house is a relaxed peacful place and i expect it to stay that way? how does going to school fit in with "one big party?" is she on crack? now i want to let her move in just to be a hrad ass and just to ruin her evil little plans. that little shit!

by on Dec. 9, 2010 at 2:37 PM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
QueenFelicia
by on Dec. 9, 2010 at 2:39 PM

 you just had a baby - right? no way in hell would i invite that situation into my home, much less with an infant to take care of at the time.

bluerose26
by on Dec. 9, 2010 at 2:42 PM

I don't know what to say. How old is she? If she did move in with you i would treat her like the child she is acting like and give her a curfew and set up really strict rules and if she screws up one time then she has to move out. good luck


Sorry I had a brain fart, you said shes 16.

daughterofearth
by on Dec. 9, 2010 at 2:43 PM

exactly!!! i am so torn.....what if somthing bad happens to her that wouldn't have if she had been here?

Quoting QueenFelicia:

 you just had a baby - right? no way in hell would i invite that situation into my home, much less with an infant to take care of at the time.


SweetMynx19
by on Dec. 9, 2010 at 2:44 PM

she made her bed and let her lie in it? she is 16 and a child. she has basically ben given the short straw, she hasnt ben given proper guidence, love or support by those surrounding her.

when she ends up dead in an alley is your siblings going to say, "well she made that bed so it was her fault." she is 16. no one should  be respondsible for thier own life like that at 16....

if it was your child... what would u do?

daughterofearth
by on Dec. 9, 2010 at 2:44 PM

thats what we were thinking too......i am pretty worried about the possibilty of her causing friction between me and dh though....she did that to my sisters....she is 16...looks 19..lol

Quoting bluerose26:

I don't know what to say. How old is she? If she did move in with you i would treat her like the child she is acting like and give her a curfew and set up really strict rules and if she screws up one time then she has to move out. good luck


diane-b
by Gold Member on Dec. 9, 2010 at 2:45 PM

Why can’t she go back to her mothers house?

QueenFelicia
by on Dec. 9, 2010 at 2:45 PM

 you cant think about it that way. you have to put your own child and family first. you KNOW she is a thief and a liar. don't risk it. help her find someplace safe to live - sure. it just can't be with you.

Quoting daughterofearth:

exactly!!! i am so torn.....what if somthing bad happens to her that wouldn't have if she had been here?

Quoting QueenFelicia:

 you just had a baby - right? no way in hell would i invite that situation into my home, much less with an infant to take care of at the time.

 

 

daughterofearth
by on Dec. 9, 2010 at 2:47 PM

if she was my child, she wouldn't be in this situation. she has burnt all her bridges everywhere else, and im worried that she will burn us too......i have my own kids to worry about, including a new baby. i have to think about how this will affect MY  family.

Quoting SweetMynx19:

she made her bed and let her lie in it? she is 16 and a child. she has basically ben given the short straw, she hasnt ben given proper guidence, love or support by those surrounding her.

when she ends up dead in an alley is your siblings going to say, "well she made that bed so it was her fault." she is 16. no one should  be respondsible for thier own life like that at 16....

if it was your child... what would u do?


daughterofearth
by on Dec. 9, 2010 at 2:47 PM

my mom is toxic.

Quoting diane-b:

Why can’t she go back to her mothers house?


Devious103102
by on Dec. 9, 2010 at 2:48 PM

It all depends on how well you learned from the experience with your cousin.  I told my sister (who's having some similar issues) that she could come live with me BUT she was going to be on a VERY tight leash, like, TIGHT! She'd get dropped off at school and picked up daily (she'll be 17 in March and still a freshman in HS) and that she'd HAVE to get a job during the summer and possibly a part time job during school, but that'd be up to her and her grades/behavior, and that once she hit 18/finishes school she'd better have a plan in place and money saved because that'd be the day she'd HAVE to leave my home.  I don't mind helping her get her feet off the gound but I refuse to put up with any BS and will boot her faster than she can shake her head.

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)