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I'm a horrible parent

Posted by on Feb. 9, 2011 at 12:00 PM
  • 12 Replies

My son is 3..

I hate when I have a day off of work and have to spend the whole day with him

He's such a bad child!

He screams.. omg I just want to lock myself in the freaking closet when he starts his screaming for no fucking reason.. He'll just be sitting there playing and start screaming!

He hits .. no matter what I do, I cannot get him to stop hitting other kids. It's to the point where I don't even want him around other kids because it's freaking embarassing when he hits another kid, you discipline him and he starts screaming in your face..

He throws his toys .. again, no matter what I do, this doesn't stop

He doesn't listen to a word I say..

I've tried time outs, taking things away, refusing to allow him to do special things, seriously for a few weeks all her had in his room was his dresser and bed, I pay attention to him, we play, we do arts and crafts, we sing and dance etc. but the SECOND I start to do something else, clean house, do homework etc. he starts acting up and not listening..

I'm so fed up..

I just cry. I feel like I'm just going through the motions of the day.. he doesn't listen to ANYONE..


[Psychoanalysis]
is not the only way to resolve inner conflicts.  Life itself still
remains a very effective therapist. 
~Karen Horney, Our Inner Conflicts, 1945

by on Feb. 9, 2011 at 12:00 PM
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Replies (1-10):
3boysngirl
by Bronze Member on Feb. 9, 2011 at 12:02 PM

yea it seems that he wants all ur attention

ceashell707
by on Feb. 9, 2011 at 12:02 PM

I'm actually sitting right now, across the table from my 21 year old (she actually survived) and she use to act that way.  She would have me in the corner sometimes in the fetal position crying like a baby! 

Your not a bad parent, you just need to change your tatics so that you can have better days.

Not everyone is cut out for parenting on a daily basis.  I use to stay at work longer sometimes or drive home the long way, just to mentally prepare for my kids.  lol

lady_kira
by on Feb. 9, 2011 at 12:04 PM

 I feel you, my three year old is like that. I feel like a monster some days because all I've really done is yell. It's like why are kids born with ears? They don't use them! (lol, obviously a joke) Anyway. We'll get through it... our parents survived us. (Another joke)

mama2bof2
by on Feb. 9, 2011 at 12:05 PM

 omg! i knew my son had a twin!

it is crazy! i have a 9 week old in the house and he just throws things, jumps on the couch, if she is on it or not, ignores everything i say. unless it is what he wants to do when he want to do it, forget it!!

and who came up with only half day kindergarden!!!!!!

i wish i could tell you it will get better, but my son is 5. maybe get him some counciling/ sounds like he has anger issues like mine, GL

Radarma
by Platinum Member on Feb. 9, 2011 at 12:05 PM


Quoting ceashell707:

I'm actually sitting right now, across the table from my 21 year old (she actually survived) and she use to act that way.  She would have me in the corner sometimes in the fetal position crying like a baby! 

Your not a bad parent, you just need to change your tatics so that you can have better days.

Not everyone is cut out for parenting on a daily basis.  I use to stay at work longer sometimes or drive home the long way, just to mentally prepare for my kids.  lol

I gotta say, that is one of the most honestly refreshing sentences I have ever read on Cafemom.


ddhb2007
by on Feb. 9, 2011 at 12:07 PM
He wants your attention, and by screaming, hitting, and not listening he gets you to focus on him. If you want it to stop, you have to find a way to only give him attention when he's being good.
khall83567
by on Feb. 9, 2011 at 12:09 PM

My son  is 4 1/2 - he isnt like that all the time (thank god) and he is capable of playing by himself or watching tv...but when he gets in his *moods* its like i am just talking to a wall - he doesnt listen to me, the things i say do not phase him, if i swat him - he hits me back! he screams at me in stores if he doestn get his way and it is so embarassing..but he is capable of being well behaved, so that is why this pisses me off so much..he will listen and understands * i think* that his behavior is horrible..Its just so hard to deal with him some days..

Radarma
by Platinum Member on Feb. 9, 2011 at 12:10 PM

One of THE MOST difficult tasks for me as a parent was (is, it's a process, lol) learning how to NOT REACT EMOTIONALLY to their behavior.

I suspect your son is feeding off of your reactions to his antics.

Have you tried COMPLETELY ignoring his outbursts? I mean not even sigh. NO reaction from you, ZERO. No eye roll even.

You can even state matter-of-factly, "okay well when you can talk instead of scream I will listen..." and walk away.

As for the hitting, that is a biggy. (as you know, lol)

I found a simple sentence to be really helpful when mine were in that stage....try this:

"It is OK to be/feel mad...it is NEVER OK to hit/hurt someone else, or yourself."

This way you are, in essence, acknowledging their emotion WITH boundaries and rules.

I want to tell you that mine are now 7 and 9 and I know EXACTLY how you feel. I remember feeling the same.

I made it, it got way better and it will for you too.

HUGS

anikahaynes1
by on Feb. 9, 2011 at 12:10 PM
I soooo feel your pain! Im not sure ill survive the next few yrs! She isnt quite 2 yet!
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ceashell707
by on Feb. 9, 2011 at 12:11 PM


Quoting Radarma:

 

Quoting ceashell707:

I'm actually sitting right now, across the table from my 21 year old (she actually survived) and she use to act that way.  She would have me in the corner sometimes in the fetal position crying like a baby! 

Your not a bad parent, you just need to change your tatics so that you can have better days.

Not everyone is cut out for parenting on a daily basis.  I use to stay at work longer sometimes or drive home the long way, just to mentally prepare for my kids.  lol

I gotta say, that is one of the most honestly refreshing sentences I have ever read on Cafemom.


Im not proud of it, but my kids understand.  I love them, and they will say I was/am a good mom, but I should not have had children, it was work and I wasn't cut out for it.  And now, both of them, 17 and 21 do not want children.  The youngest knows she is too selfish and the oldest just don't like kids. 

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