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I can't believe some kids and parents! Vent and need advice.

Posted by on Feb. 20, 2011 at 1:59 PM
  • 20 Replies

Ok so my neighbor is having a little get together for the kids. Sort of like an unplanned play date. Well we are all over there having a good time and in walks my friend and her son. Lets call them Jen and Ryan. Well before they even get into the living room I hear Jen saying "Ryan, you can walk. I can't hold you" then I hear him whining and saying "no, no, no". Finally after about 30 minutes of him whining for his mommy every time she doesn't have all eyes and ears on him he starts playing with the other kids. After about 15 minutes of nice playing, my daughter starts crying. We all look over and Ryan is hitting her with a toy guitar!!! At this point I'm thinking "oh yeah it's time for a time out" but no Jen just says "Ryan....that's not very nice. You can't hit people" While she is saying this he is just doing his own thing not paying any attention to what she is saying. Well then my neighbor's daughter asks if they can go play in her room she wants to show them something. We say ok and all 5 little kids venture into her room. After about 10 minutes we hear Ryan laughing  and Oliver(another friend's son) saying "No no ryan! Stop!" We run to see what's going on and instead of Ryan and Oliver being in the little girls room they are in the parents room where there are 6 week old puppies in a box. Ryan is THROWING the puppies. Yeah, 6 week old puppies being thrown. And what does Jen say "Oh Ryan! You can't throw puppies! You will hurt them." Then grabs his hand and walks him out of the room. No time out, no 'talk', NOTHING! She just acted like nothing had happened and it was normal for a 3 year old to act like this. And mind you, he ALWAYS acts like this. He doesn't know how to share or ask nicely. He has NO manners. He is always whining. Now Jen is a good friend of mine and I can't just cut myself off from her. I've known her way before any of us had kids but it's getting to the point where I don't want to be around her and her son anymore! It's ridiculous. 

What would you do if  you were in my situation?

by on Feb. 20, 2011 at 1:59 PM
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Replies (1-10):
try_again
by on Feb. 20, 2011 at 2:01 PM
I'd stop ALL playdates.
If you can't cut her out of your life, hang out WITHOUT kids.
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zianneaaliyah
by on Feb. 20, 2011 at 2:02 PM

Cut her off or start reprimanding him yourself if he touches your daughter again.  Maybe she'll see she needs to step up her discipline methods. 

ChellaWella
by on Feb. 20, 2011 at 2:02 PM

id paint my sons back porch RED!!! i would def Start Telling her if she cant discipline her son then for the safety of ur daughter you will just have to hang out as adults with no children.

CountryStrong84
by Platinum Member on Feb. 20, 2011 at 2:03 PM

  i would just stay away from the destructive little brat and his enabling mother.

Elayna90
by on Feb. 20, 2011 at 2:03 PM
Does her son have any problems or is he just that way?
Either way, it sounds like he could become a problem. You need to say something to her but when it involves your dd. If it's random, than it will seem interfering but when it involves your dd, than it's your job to step in and make sure she's safe.
Just be casual about it. Don't make a point to push it. And be ready, most parents will be offended if you say something about their parenting, no matter how nice you say it.
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katiebugplus3
by on Feb. 20, 2011 at 2:05 PM


Quoting try_again:

I'd stop ALL playdates.
If you can't cut her out of your life, hang out WITHOUT kids.

Well it wasn't my play date with just her kid and my kids. It was a group of friends and us. I can't tell my friends to not invite her...

kiernansmom08
by on Feb. 20, 2011 at 2:05 PM

My sister's son is like this (also 3) and he is abusive to my daughter.  I mean, smacking her hands, running at her full speed and knocking her to the ground, ripping things out of her hands.  I'm lucky if she says anything at all, and if she does, it's just like you said with your friend, "Honey, that's not very nice" and then goes on about her business.  It's driving me freaking nuts so I'm really interested in the advice everyone has here too.

ChaoticSoul
by on Feb. 20, 2011 at 2:05 PM
I'd honestly talk to her about it. Tell her how you feel & that you dont feel comfortable that your child is safe while playing with hers. Tell her she needs to do something or you can no longer associate with them for yor childs safety.
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Wyldbutterfly
by on Feb. 20, 2011 at 2:05 PM


Quoting ChellaWella:

id paint my sons back porch RED!!! i would def Start Telling her if she cant discipline her son then for the safety of ur daughter you will just have to hang out as adults with no children.


mrsjksimmons
by on Feb. 20, 2011 at 2:05 PM

I would sit her down friend to friend and talk to her. Maybe gather up some parenting books and maybe see if there are parenting classes in your area. Share the resources with her and let her know that if she doesn't get her son under control, you will no longer let your daughter around her and him anymore.

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