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He cheated and you expect me to do WHAT?!?

Posted by on Mar. 2, 2011 at 12:51 AM
  • 28 Replies
My sister's husband of 7 years cheated on her. She found dirty texts and even nude photos from his ex when he forgot to lock his phone one night (it had been happening for a while but he was really strict about her not having access to his cell). She left him and came to stay with me, my niece and twpo nephews in tow. She brought clothes, toiletries, and even her dog and its 8 puppies. We all assumed she was serious and they were done. Fast forward a couple days and she has moved back in. She forgave him (even though they never talked about anything) and they are working it out (by pretending he never did anything wrong). Okay, but now she is mad at me because I don't want to come over and hang out. I told her that I don't really want to see him right now. She seriously expects me to forgive him, right now, on the spot. I don't want to forgive him! He hurt my baby sister damnit, but she thinks since she forgave him that I should too...
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by on Mar. 2, 2011 at 12:51 AM
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Replies (1-10):
arianna24
by on Mar. 2, 2011 at 12:55 AM
Well... Maybe you should invite your sister to go out and do things with you so he isn't around and you still get to spend time with her. She probably needs support with this issue. In the back of her head I bet she knows it will happen again but doesn't want to believe it. Poor girl. I hope he doesn't do it again!
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LuvMyFrog
by on Mar. 2, 2011 at 12:55 AM

My sister was like that. She would stay with/ go back to her shitty boyfriends and act like they never did anything wrong and expect everyone else to do the same. She knew that I wouldn't do it so she stopped asking. 

KrazyMyra
by on Mar. 2, 2011 at 12:56 AM

 i have 3 brothers and 3 sisters...they all have gotten hurt somehow... i learned that they should handle their own problems. i used to always get mad if someone hurt one of them...but then my sibling would be okay with them so whats the point of me getting mad? kwim? but like you i dont talk to their SO's that have hurt them. but my siblings dont mind.

kitten_shuga
by on Mar. 2, 2011 at 12:57 AM
She made me feel like a real jerk, but I just cant pretend he is some great guy.
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.not.angel.
by on Mar. 2, 2011 at 12:59 AM
It's not your relationship, he didn't do YOU wrong, so what does he need your forgiveness for in the first place? Don't get me wrong, he cheated on your sister and you have a right to be pissed.... but really...
Kaybean
by Kayleen on Mar. 2, 2011 at 1:02 AM
I would need time if I were you. If your sister is trying to work it out, then u need to accept that but the fact that you need time is perfectly acceptable.
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aidansmommy219
by on Mar. 2, 2011 at 1:02 AM

 sounds like she's in denial. she can't just sweep this under the rug. its going to resurface and big a bigger issue later on. all you can do is tell her how you feel and let her decide what to do from there. you cant force her to feel the same as you but you can make her aware of how she feels. can you invite her to your house or to go out so you can still spend time with her and your neice and nephews without having to be around her loser husband?

kaitlynsmommy31
by on Mar. 2, 2011 at 1:04 AM

Can't say I'd forgive the bastard either.

Dark_Rain
by on Mar. 2, 2011 at 1:05 AM

Theres nothing to forgive. He didn't do anything to YOU. Yeah he cheated on your sister but if she's dumb enough to say screw it and let him just keep doing it, cus hell you know he's going to, then thats on her and him. You can be pissed but maybe you should be pissed at your sister for being so stupid.

rmfanfgljf
by on Mar. 2, 2011 at 1:06 AM
This is the reason I was careful about who I told when my dh told me he cheated on me 6 years ago this last weekend. I am very hurt but I am not really mad at him, I forgave him because in a way I understand. I know my dh so I don't need the negativity that our families will give us if or when I tell them. We want to move past this and we want to get over it, he has been trying to forget it happened since the night it happened. I am not mad at the girl either, my husband could have said no, he didn't have to take it out f his pants and she should ot have come onto to my dh knowing for one he was married and two he was drunk. I am sure if he had cheated recently I would feel totally differently about it but it was a horrible mistake he made so long ago. I trust that he won't do it again. And as hard as it may be, he trying to move on means getting support from you, she trusted you enough to turn to you in her time of need and she still needs you now. You don't have to forgive him to be there for your sister and if you talk to your sister she may understand why you are not so easy to forgive him.
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