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Frustrated.

Posted by on Mar. 2, 2011 at 1:44 AM
  • 5 Replies

I just need a minute to vent, and I could use some advice.  Lately my DH has been very distant, and I'm not sure how to  handle it.  We got internet in the house a month ago (my parents offered to pay for it, since we can't really afford it, but I need it for school).  I've been able to get so much done for school, and it's wonderful to not have to run to the library 15 minutes away to get things done for class.  My problem is DH.  We were having a few problems before the internet, but they really started afterwards.

He won't get up and do anything anymore.  He just sits on the computer watching stupid cartoons or looking up "funny videos," and we never spend time together.  He wakes up, gets on the computer, takes a shower, goes to work, spends til about 3-4 in the morning on the computer, then crawls into bed.  I'm so frustrated, because when I try to suggest going to the store, going for a walk, watching a movie together, going to bed at a semi-decent hour, he gets MAD at me and yells and acts like a child throwing a tantrum. 

I'm not sure what has changed in our relationship or how to get back what we had.  He used to be so romantic, spontaneous, and I could really feel like he loved me and I was his world.  Now, I just feel like an inconvenience to him and that I have to tiptoe around him so I don't get my head bit off for no reason.  I've suggested talking, tried to talk to him, but he just makes everything about him instead of how I'm feeling, and he makes it out to be my fault without me even realizing it!  I'm so frustrated and fed up.  I feel like I love him, but I'm falling out of love with him if that makes sense.  Any advice would be appreciated.  I just don't know what to do anymore.


by on Mar. 2, 2011 at 1:44 AM
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Replies (1-5):
Kenre
by Ruby Member on Mar. 2, 2011 at 1:48 AM
Take the cord to the computer and hide it? Tell him that if he wants to act like a teen, then you will treat him like one. When he wants to be an adult and your spouse, then you are willing to talk with him like one, but the computer needs to be off until things are resolved.
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NikLvsNick
by on Mar. 2, 2011 at 1:51 AM

That's when I would either start hiding the ethernet cable or password lock the computer. 

MumaSue
by on Mar. 2, 2011 at 1:54 AM

I know you find the internet useful for school but if it were me I'd turn the internet off. Even if it's only for a couple of days. I do not know what is going on but the internet might be an excuse for him to ignore all problems. When you ask him to do other things he gets angry [beyond what he should do] because he feels he will have to face those problems.

SarahlovesLiz
by on Mar. 2, 2011 at 1:58 AM

I'm in my semester before student teaching, and I need it for writing lesson plans for kindergarten and fourth grade right now!  lol  I also have to keep in touch with my partner and correspond through email, and my classes require daily logins on the online portions, so I can't just stay off it daily, but I'm only online while he is at work.  I'm on now, because I'm pissed, and he won't talk to me.  When I tell him he's acting like an ass, he'll turn it off and get mad and be like "okay, I turned it off.  Now what do you want?"  At that point, I don't want anything from him, KWIM?  Like I say, though, the frustrations have been mounting for some time, but this internet thing has been making it escalate even further.  He says he loves me, but I just don't feel it anymore...  Instead of that butterfly feeling in my stomach that I used to have, it is just like dropping a brick in it.

SarahlovesLiz
by on Mar. 2, 2011 at 2:24 AM

BUMP!

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