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What do you think of "gender-neutral"college dorms (co-ed dorm rooms)

Posted by on Mar. 2, 2011 at 7:44 AM
  • 39 Replies

 

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Question: Should colleges allow dorm rooms be co-ed?

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Rutgers Allows Co-ed Dorm Rooms, Parents Freak Out

Posted by Kim Conte
on March 1, 2011 at 5:29 PM

In a move that has stunned -- well, if we're being completely honest -- no one, Rutgers University has announced it will allow male and female undergrads to share rooms in three on-campus residence halls. In addition, men and women will share bathrooms.

Similar gender-neutral housing arrangements are already in place at several other schools including the University of Maryland, Columbia University, and Ohio University. Rutgers is the latest school to follow suit in an effort to make the campus more inclusive for gay students after freshman Tyler Clementi committed suicide last semester.

But some parents aren't so sure they're on board with the idea, especially because the school says it will not allow parents to veto their children's choices.

For the most part, Rutgers students' reactions to the new program -- like this comment from Aaron Lee, a transgender senior -- have been overwhelmingly positive.

I’m really glad they did it, although I wish it wouldn’t have taken as long ... We live in a world where in order to be considered a human being you have to be male or female, and not everyone fits into that kind of binary. It’s important to have spaces where people don’t necessarily have to worry.

But some parents are concerned their heterosexual children might take advantage of the co-ed dorms for "shacking up" purposes with their girlfriends and boyfriends.

Here's how the new mixed-sex housing program will work:

  • Students will get into the dorms as per usual -- i.e. through the student housing lottery.
  • Students will be given the option of naming a roommate of either sex who is supportive of their sexual preference.
  • Students will not be asked to reveal their sexual preference or relationship status with their requested roommate.
  • Parents will not be permitted to veto their children’s roommates.
  • Students of different genders who don't know each other will not be placed together.

For some parents who rest easy knowing their child resides in a same-sex dorm, this new program might be hard to swallow. And, because gay students obviously get bullied both by students of the opposite gender and the same gender, mixed-housing isn't a cure-all for bullying on campus.

But gay advocacy groups say that gender-neutral housing is an important step in making gay students feel safe and welcome on campus by allowing them to choose a roommate -- regardless of gender -- who is supportive of their preference.

What do you think of gender-neutral housing?

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by on Mar. 2, 2011 at 7:44 AM
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Replies (1-10):
Mamitamaria
by Bronze Member on Mar. 2, 2011 at 7:47 AM
I am ok with this idea...gay and lesbian couples have been able to share a dorm room forever...why should heterosexuals be discriminated against?
weezer_cookie
by on Mar. 2, 2011 at 7:47 AM
I think its a great idea. I'm glad they recognized the problems and found a solution for it.
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AutymsMommy
by Ruby Member on Mar. 2, 2011 at 7:50 AM

While I am glad they recognized and fixed a problem... I would never allow my heterosexual child to share a dorm room with a person of the opposite sex. Period.

They say parents can't veto their child's choice... that's fine... but I can pull funding.

I am a Private School sending, Vaccinating, Non spanking, Nightmare Cuddling, Dessert Giving, Homework Helping, Bedtime Kissing, Book Reading, Academic pushing Mother. I believe in the benefit of organized after school activities. I believe in spoiling my children. I believe that I have seen the village and I do not want it raising my child - I will do that, Thank You. I believe that a woman's place is in the home taking care of her house, children and husband. My husband is head of my home. I am a proud Roman Catholic, as is my husband.             Aimee




 

xxxAthena
by on Mar. 2, 2011 at 7:50 AM

...why are parents freaking out about their ADULT offspring's sleeping arrangements? do they think that because they dorm with same sex then they aren't having any sex at all? and why are they thinking about another adults sex patterns anyway?

notjstanothrmom
by Ruby Member on Mar. 2, 2011 at 7:51 AM

At 18 years old a person should be able to handle themselves appropriately. If they want to have sex they can. If they want to bring a male or female to their dorm before certain hours they can. I don't see the point in seperating them if they do not want to be. I think there should be options, esp. for ladies, but coed housing is a good idea and I think for those who are transgendered it wouldn't put them in an awkward position on choosing a house or being rediculed for not having the parts of the sex they are representing.

fatcat0908
by Platinum Member on Mar. 2, 2011 at 7:53 AM
Be it 18 or 80, I find it inappropriate.
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AutymsMommy
by Ruby Member on Mar. 2, 2011 at 7:56 AM

It is more a personal belief that she shouldn't live with a man before marriage.

*shrug*

If she wants to have sex and/or shack up while in college, she will do it one way or another... but I will not contribute to it and it will not be on my dime.

Quoting xxxAthena:

...why are parents freaking out about their ADULT offspring's sleeping arrangements? do they think that because they dorm with same sex then they aren't having any sex at all? and why are they thinking about another adults sex patterns anyway?


I am a Private School sending, Vaccinating, Non spanking, Nightmare Cuddling, Dessert Giving, Homework Helping, Bedtime Kissing, Book Reading, Academic pushing Mother. I believe in the benefit of organized after school activities. I believe in spoiling my children. I believe that I have seen the village and I do not want it raising my child - I will do that, Thank You. I believe that a woman's place is in the home taking care of her house, children and husband. My husband is head of my home. I am a proud Roman Catholic, as is my husband.             Aimee




 

YvonnesMommy
by on Mar. 2, 2011 at 7:56 AM
At that age, I don't think teenagers are responsible enough to make good decisions. It would be too much of a distraction for the kids, having the opposite sex right down the hall... idk. If I was a parent of a college student, I would be very leary.

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MisfitInTN
by on Mar. 2, 2011 at 7:57 AM

i dont see anything wrong with it

yezay
by on Mar. 2, 2011 at 8:00 AM

This doesn't even have to be about sex.  Some men just get along better with women and some women better with men and they'd be more comfortable living that way.  You can have sex whether the person lives with you or not.  What if a gay man would prefer to live with a woman or a lesbian would prefer to live with a man?

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