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Would you go?

Posted by on Mar. 2, 2011 at 11:38 AM
  • 11 Replies

My mom died last year and left us a good size inheritance. My youngest brother, ten years younger than me is blowing through it. Basically, living off of it. He decides he wants to get married this year which is fine. My siblings and I have had ups and downs this past year and my sister has been a completely selfish you know what. To the point, that she deletes me off facebook and convinces my brother's fiance to do the same. I know that sounds childish and high school like, but it was a slap in the face in my opinion. I have done nothing but be nice to my brother's fiance.

SO...now, my aunt is trying to make me feel guilty for not going to her bridal shower next weekend. I'm sorry, but they never communicate with me, never seem interested in their neices or nephews, etc. I just don't see the point in being fake and nice when I have done nothing but be the bigger the person. I"m so tired of being the bigger person. I don't feel like I need to go for appearance sake and be made uncomfortable the entire time. 

I know it sounds like I'm complaining, but my aunt then tries to guilt me again and say, "Well, what would your mom think?" My mom wouldn't agree with a lot of how my siblings have behaved and mistreated each other. I'm sorry, just rambling. There is a lot more to this, but you get the gist. 

by on Mar. 2, 2011 at 11:38 AM
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Replies (1-10):
momma-flynn
by on Mar. 2, 2011 at 11:39 AM

does your aunt know how they are treating you? i would be on the fence about going.  

try_again
by on Mar. 2, 2011 at 11:41 AM
I wouldn't go UNLESS the bride was the one inviting you.
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mommywillU
by on Mar. 2, 2011 at 11:42 AM

Yes she knows how they have been acting this entire year. It's just one thing after another if you know what I mean.

massteria
by on Mar. 2, 2011 at 11:42 AM

If they don't personally invite you, then there is no reason for you to go.  If you do receive an invite, then you can politely decline.  I don't see where you are obligated in any way to go and show support to someone who is not willing to have contact with you.

glg505
by on Mar. 2, 2011 at 11:43 AM

This

Quoting try_again:

I wouldn't go UNLESS the bride was the one inviting you.


Niki_sd
by on Mar. 2, 2011 at 11:51 AM

If you got an invitation and can go, I would go.   Bring a nice gift, get there on time and leave after the first guest leaves.   I know you are tired of being the bigger person, but you are the big sister in this case.  It is so sad that death can tear a family apart.    The more time you spend apart, the more likely you will wake up one day and realize your haven't tt your family in 10 years.  Sometimes things we dread turn out better when we see someone in person.   Weddings are supposed to be happy times.. and I am sure your brother has a lot of sadness that his mom won't be there.   No matter how they are acting now... don't do something you cannot take back by not going.  

Best wishes for you... I know it is hard, but you can get through this.  

momma-flynn
by on Mar. 2, 2011 at 11:54 AM

well since your aunt knows & really wants you to be there, ask her to be your buddy during the shower. Niki_sd had a very good point in her post. In the long run, it's probably best for family relations if you go.

Niki_sd
by on Mar. 2, 2011 at 11:54 AM

The wedding is not about you or your sister... it is about your brother.   I didn't see anything in your post that is bad about your brother other than that he is being young and sadly irrisponsible with money.    He is the one that would be hurt in this whole thing.... my response is based on that. 

Trekkie
by on Mar. 2, 2011 at 11:58 AM

Personally, if the bride invited me, I would go, just to avoid adding flame to the fire.

Sirenabella
by on Mar. 2, 2011 at 12:09 PM

I wouldn't go. There is no reason to be supportive of someone who treats you like shit. 

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