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An enigma wrapped in a riddle

Posted by on Mar. 2, 2011 at 4:06 PM
  • 14 Replies

Answer me this:

A single mom decides she only wants to date people who already have kids because SHE does not want any more biological children of her own. She figures someone who already has kids is less likely to want more biological children of her own, will be more understanding about what she has to go through and will be more accepting of her children. She has many reasons not to want more bio kids but one reason is because she doesn't think she could handle any MORE kids.

Problem: when she and single dad get married and move in together, now she has her kids and his kids. So she ended up with more kids any way.


What's a girl to do?


by on Mar. 2, 2011 at 4:06 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Kodysmommy928
by on Mar. 2, 2011 at 4:07 PM

You wing it!  If he is good enough to marry, you will fall in love with your new children too!

FlamingIguana
by on Mar. 2, 2011 at 4:10 PM

If you already got married, I guess you get over it! That's the kind of thing that should have been thought of when said Single Momma started dating him! That was pretty flawed logic unless he swore the kids were with his ex or babies momma or whatever but things changed after the wedding.

adrianasmommy07
by on Mar. 2, 2011 at 4:11 PM

You try to figure out if its just that you dont want any more children to deal with at all, or just that you dont want to deal with BABIES.

And then you just stop worrying about it so dang much and let your heart lead you to the right person, childless or not.

.kk.
by on Mar. 2, 2011 at 4:13 PM


Quoting adrianasmommy07:

You try to figure out if its just that you dont want any more children to deal with at all, or just that you dont want to deal with BABIES.

And then you just stop worrying about it so dang much and let your heart lead you to the right person, childless or not.

;)


.kk.
by on Mar. 2, 2011 at 4:16 PM


Quoting FlamingIguana:

If you already got married, I guess you get over it! That's the kind of thing that should have been thought of when said Single Momma started dating him! That was pretty flawed logic unless he swore the kids were with his ex or babies momma or whatever but things changed after the wedding.

That's a funny answer. Do you assume that every poster has already done what they are asking about?


.kk.
by on Mar. 2, 2011 at 4:36 PM

I'm kinda diggin' on the bank guy but I don't see the point in dating him when he wants children.

1likeme
by on Mar. 2, 2011 at 4:39 PM

Not to go getting to personal but I think part of the reason you feel this way about not being able to handle any more is because you are essentially alone.  Based on your posts your ex doesn't help in the day to day care and actually causes you more stress.  A good relationship will alleviate much of that stress.

adrianasmommy07
by on Mar. 2, 2011 at 4:39 PM


Quoting .kk.:

I'm kinda diggin' on the bank guy but I don't see the point in dating him when he wants children.

Dont put the cart before the horse chicky. You would just be dating him. Not marrying dude.

.kk.
by on Mar. 2, 2011 at 4:41 PM


Quoting 1likeme:

Not to go getting to personal but I think part of the reason you feel this way about not being able to handle any more is because you are essentially alone.  Based on your posts your ex doesn't help in the day to day care and actually causes you more stress.  A good relationship will alleviate much of that stress.

That's not too personal, it's very insightful.

I also have no idea what it's like to raise children with someone who is your partner and equal because even when I was married I felt alone.

I also had PPP and HG which are why I am so very against having more biological children even if I'm with a supportive spouse.


TessB
by on Mar. 2, 2011 at 4:44 PM

I tell my gf who is in the same situation to find a man that is older (not old)...his children are teens or so and can take care of themselves to an extent (not doubling the number of toddlers in the house), and will be adults soon.

Plus, if he is older, chances are he has been divorced for a year or more and not in the middle of drama.

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