Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

DH threatening CPS

Posted by on Mar. 2, 2011 at 10:24 PM
  • 46 Replies

 DH and I are currently separated and filing for divorce. DS stays with me. I take him to see DH upon request and will never and have never kept them from eachother. We are currently on bad terms and he gets a royal attitude whenever he's mad about something or he doesnt get his way. One of the many reasons we split.

Anyways --

The living situation since our split is me and DS stay with my grandparents and he moved back in with his mom. Well, my grandparents are having company come stay with them for a week so I am at my moms house. My moms house is clean for the most part. Lived in, not perfect. She has a little bit of a bug problem though. Her house is not infested, but she does have bugs mostly in her kitchen. Like I said, her house is not nasty by any means! And it's a problem she is having fixed. I wouldnt let him stay there if it were unlivable. Out of just pure spite my DH told me if DS and I do not come stay with him or go back to my grandparents he is calling CPS on me in the morning. He's only doing it to be mean, not even thinking about the well-being of our son or what could happen if he gets taken away.

So my question for you ladies is: Should I be worried if I choose to stay the week here? I am so stressed out! Crying all day and my head is pounding. It would absolutely devastate me and traumatize DS if they choose to take him.. as it would any caring mother and child. Knowing my DH he isnt just talking out his ass either..

Should I just go back to my grandparents? My last resort would be going to DH's and that is NOT an option im okay with.

 Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker

by on Mar. 2, 2011 at 10:24 PM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
Lanie_momofone
by on Mar. 2, 2011 at 10:27 PM

 I do not mean any offense to your mom by any means, i am answering this based on my feelings.

I personally would not want my child to stay in a home that has bugs in it ( i am assuming you are talking about cochroaches?).

I personally do not think it was fair that you had to leave the house because your grandparents were having company for the week. 

It is his son as well, and if he is that uncomfortable with him being in a house with bugs, then i would take his feelings about this situation into consideration

 

Zawifey
by on Mar. 2, 2011 at 10:32 PM

Can ds go stay with his dad for the week? or is that out of the question?

lovelyy504
by on Mar. 2, 2011 at 10:37 PM

 its not out of the question, but DH has sadly never been alone with DS before. I don't really "allow" it because DH cant handle it when DS throws a fit or cries. All his visits are only when I can stay during the visit.

Quoting Zawifey:

Can ds go stay with his dad for the week? or is that out of the question?

 

 Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker

Ataemommy
by on Mar. 2, 2011 at 10:41 PM


Quoting lovelyy504:

 its not out of the question, but DH has sadly never been alone with DS before. I don't really "allow" it because DH cant handle it when DS throws a fit or cries. All his visits are only when I can stay during the visit.

Quoting Zawifey:

Can ds go stay with his dad for the week? or is that out of the question?

 

It's time to let go and let him be a father. All kids have separation anxiety, and it doesn't matter who it is.

That being said, it's $60 to get an eco-friendly fumigator. The bugs would be gone in a day. Then you need to report HIM back to CPS for filing a false report.

owl0210
by on Mar. 2, 2011 at 10:44 PM

 

Quoting Ataemommy:

 

Quoting lovelyy504:

 its not out of the question, but DH has sadly never been alone with DS before. I don't really "allow" it because DH cant handle it when DS throws a fit or cries. All his visits are only when I can stay during the visit.

Quoting Zawifey:

Can ds go stay with his dad for the week? or is that out of the question?

 

It's time to let go and let him be a father. All kids have separation anxiety, and it doesn't matter who it is.

That being said, it's $60 to get an eco-friendly fumigator. The bugs would be gone in a day. Then you need to report HIM back to CPS for filing a false report.

I agree and when you go to court eventually you will either have to split custody or your stbxh will have visitation.

futureshock
by Emerald Member on Mar. 2, 2011 at 10:49 PM

Why not let your child stay with his dad for this short time?

FL2AK
by on Mar. 2, 2011 at 10:54 PM

Let your child stay with his dad.  Eventually life will go on and you will not always be welcome at every visit your child has with his father.  Time to let him be a dad.  The only way he will learn is to just do it.  You must have thought he was capable at one time to be a father or you would not have married him and had a child with him. 

lovelyy504
by on Mar. 3, 2011 at 1:16 AM

 actually thats not true.

from day one he's not been there for DS. he yells at him when he cries and puts him in his crib.. tries to feed hi sometimes and thats it. I left out  a lot about his dad because I didn't want the post going OT, but that seemed to happen anyway. His dad is abusive towards me. I guess yelling at DS is considered a form of verbal abuse, other than that hes an okay dad, but I would still never let him keep DS on his own for fear of DS being verbally attacked and not having his needs met.

To everyone who offered suggestions.. Thank you :)

Quoting FL2AK:

Let your child stay with his dad.  Eventually life will go on and you will not always be welcome at every visit your child has with his father.  Time to let him be a dad.  The only way he will learn is to just do it.  You must have thought he was capable at one time to be a father or you would not have married him and had a child with him. 

 

 Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker

xxlilmomma09
by on Mar. 3, 2011 at 1:19 AM
Just let the child stay with his father. Like the PPs said, your ex will get joint custody with unsupervised visitation once everything is final, might as well start it now.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
ChellaWella
by on Mar. 3, 2011 at 1:20 AM

u know how many ppl with roaches get to keep there kids lol if its not infested they wont take ur son over a small bug problem But they might give u crap about unstable living bouncing from one home to another is not stable to avoid anymore issues look into a 1 bedroom apartment

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)