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What Do You Ladies Think? Long

Posted by on Mar. 28, 2011 at 11:04 AM
  • 32 Replies
I was adopted at 3 days old, back in 1967. I'm wanting to search for my first family. I can't ask my mom that raised me, she died when I was 11, and my dad says looking for my first family is DISRESPECTFUL of my mom. My feeling is my mom is gone, therefore, she would want me to be happy...I'll be 44 years old on Friday, and I'm wanting to know my roots...who I look like, where I came from, what my heritage is...things that EVERYBODY else that isn't adopted KNOWS! So I ask, is it DISRESPECTFUL to my mom, for me to look for my first family? I DO NOT want to REPLACE my mom or dad....they raised me, and loved me...I love them very much, I just want to know those I don't know! I do know that I am the YOUNGEST of 5, and my first family was married to each other when I was born...that's all I know!
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by on Mar. 28, 2011 at 11:04 AM
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Replies (1-10):
the_kids_mom
by Silver Member on Mar. 28, 2011 at 11:05 AM
BUMP!!!!
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okhsmom
by on Mar. 28, 2011 at 11:06 AM

Good luck.  My guess is that your dad is feeling like he may lose you and he's already lost his wife.  Be gentle as you procede with this.  I hope you find your birth family!

carterscutie85
by *Shanny's Stalker* on Mar. 28, 2011 at 11:06 AM

I don't think it's disrespectful.

I think your mom wants u to be happy and have closure and if this is what it takes go ahead.

periwinkle163
by on Mar. 28, 2011 at 11:09 AM

 I don't think it's disrespectful at all. Your mom would want you to be happy. Go slowly though for your father's sake and yours. Prepare yourself for the fact that the meeting might not be all you hope. Good Luck!

the_kids_mom
by Silver Member on Mar. 28, 2011 at 11:14 AM
I'm not expecting anything! I figure if I don't expect anything, it won't disappoint me, no matter what I find or don't find!
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the_kids_mom
by Silver Member on Mar. 28, 2011 at 11:28 AM
I know this isn't a drama post, but I really need your opinions!!!!
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connie45
by Gold Member on Mar. 28, 2011 at 11:32 AM

The love and respect you have for the mom who raised you will not be diminished by finding out  about your birth mother.   Is it possible your father is afraid he will lose you too if you become involved with your birth family?

If you need to do this for you - do it.  Tell your dad that you are not doing this to hurt him but to help you.

Sandy418
by Platinum Member on Mar. 28, 2011 at 11:36 AM

Was your adoption thru a agency, or private? I don't think it's disrespectful. You need to know your genetic background for yourself and for your kids. What do you put down at doctor's appointments when they ask you about diseases in  the family? Your Dad might feel like he might lose you too, but this is what I would explain to your Dad that you need to know this history for you and your children. That is very important to know.

easinpc
by Silver Member on Mar. 28, 2011 at 11:36 AM


Quoting connie45:

The love and respect you have for the mom who raised you will not be diminished by finding out  about your birth mother.   Is it possible your father is afraid he will lose you too if you become involved with your birth family?

If you need to do this for you - do it.  Tell your dad that you are not doing this to hurt him but to help you.


romanceparty4u
by on Mar. 28, 2011 at 11:37 AM

Where were you adopted? What state? What city? Do you have any info at all?

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