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YES I told your kid...and?

Posted by on Mar. 28, 2011 at 4:53 PM
  • 27 Replies

I was talking to a mom (not here on CM) and she was asking us what we think about if she were to go and say something to the kid who has been bullying her kid. She is burned out because she has gone to everyone she is supposed to go to as far as the system is concerned. Personally my thought is that I would go to the other parents first,but other ppl on the board were telling her NOT to do that because the parents may get defensive and go into "My child would neeeever..." mode.  I get where she's coming from,but all things considered,you could take an ass kicking if you go confronting someone else's child,even in the name of making peace. Thoughts?

by on Mar. 28, 2011 at 4:53 PM
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by on Mar. 28, 2011 at 4:56 PM

 I would go to the teacher and principal first, and if nothing got done, I would meet the parents and go head-to-head.


by on Mar. 28, 2011 at 4:56 PM

i dont care what "mode" the parents are in, they need to be spoken to.

i would never approach a child who has no idea the damage he/she is doing by bullying someone. at that age, they look at bullying as something funny, and "just a joke", or they are doing it before its done to them. so no i wouldnt approach a child.. i will stand up to the parents... i wouldnt approach them with an attitude, there is always a nice way to say something , but if they get defensive then that just goes to show where their childs issues come from. and i will stand there until i get my point across

by on Mar. 28, 2011 at 4:57 PM

I would definitely go to the parents over the kid. Unless I saw it happen directly in front of me, then I would have to say something to the kid. I hate bullying. 

by on Mar. 28, 2011 at 4:58 PM
I would approach the parents first if nothing was done i would contact the principal and see what can be done.
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by on Mar. 28, 2011 at 4:59 PM

 I would request a parent/parent principal meeting, so that there is a mediator. With the children present. I hate bullying, and I have seen most parents of bullies are bullies themselves.


by Ruby Member on Mar. 28, 2011 at 4:59 PM

 Well, here is my experience.

The girl next door was bullying my daughter.  I tried to talk to the parents.  They literally would not talk to me.  I mean, they would not even come to the door when I would knock.  So, the next time I heard she was being ugly to my daughter, I said something to her.  I told her that she may not like my daughter, and that's fine, but she had no business being mean to her.  I told her not to talk to my daughter, not to go around my daughter, don't look at my daughter.  She went home and told her mom that I grabber her by the shirt and they called the cops.  Luckily, there were other kids around and our neighbors were known by the police to be trouble makers.  But I would be very careful if I were this lady.

by on Mar. 28, 2011 at 5:00 PM

 She should talk to the parents if nothing else has worked.

by Kim on Mar. 28, 2011 at 5:01 PM

 People are really weird about other people saying things to their kids.  We kept yelling over the fence to our neighbor's kids to stop throwing the baseballs into the fence (they broke 4 boards that we fixed-now we don't fix them anymore and there are big holes).  Those people came over here to confront us about yelling at their kids.  I told them they are lucky I just yell and don't call the cops (or guards, 'cause we live in a gated community with security guards).  That lady needs to document (video tape) what is happening to her child.  Then, she will have loads of options. 

by on Mar. 28, 2011 at 5:05 PM

I would call the parents with out a second thought, and if the parents did not correct the behavior I would have no problem speaking to the child directly.  I would attempt to do so with as much tact and concern as possible, but if no one else will tell the kids to leave my kid alone then I have no problem being the one to say it to them. 


When I was a kid I used to ride the bus home with my cousin, who was a year older and much more developed that I was.  When she was in the 4th grade a couple of boys started making a habit of pinching her on the butt and making sexual comments to her.  One day the boy stuck his hand up my cousins skirt and grabbed her.  The next day when we got to the bus stop my uncle climbed up on the bus, made us point out the boys to him and right there in front of bus driver and all the other students he picked the boys up out of their seats by their shirts and told them if they every put another finger on his daughter that he would cut it off, and made them apologize.  

The boys parents were pissed (the fact that my uncle diddnt hide the fact that he had wire cutters in his back pocket probably diddnt help lol!), but those kids never even looked at us again after that! 

by on Mar. 28, 2011 at 5:08 PM

My BFF and I went to the mall for lunch and to let the kids play in the play place yesterday...and someone wearing something similar to my BFF's son pushed a little girl...well this crazy lady came over didnt bother to try to find E's mom (we were sitting literally 3 feet from him) and she stuck her fat sausage finger in his face got up close and personal and YELLED at this 3 yr old that he better not push again.

I told her to take B (my son) and E (her son) to the candy store that I was going over to talk to her.  the ppl she was sitting next to were in awe that she actually did that.  I got loud but I did not yell and I told her that she is lucky I didnt knock her on her fat ass foir getting in E's face like that when his mom and I were both sitting three feet fromhim.  She said he pushed her little kid and that we weren't watching and I told her no he didnt I was watching and it was the other boy there and asked her why she didnt say anything when her kid SHOVED my son down the little slide.  she had nothing else to say other then sorry (snarkily too) and when I repeated myself (i was visibly shaking I was so furious) about how she was lucky that it was me and not someone else I actually had a couple of other parents and a TEENAGER applaude me.

When you are dealing with bullying it is best to go through the proper channels before going to the parents and try to NEVER go directly to the kid.  If the parents are not responsive then if the bullying is bad enough I would actually go to the police and have them talk to the parents and the kid.

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