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Am I Wrong?

Posted by on Mar. 28, 2011 at 5:10 PM
  • 5 Replies

my aunt told me today that one of my other aunts just found out she has stage 4 cancer, and it has spread through her body. realistically, theres nothing she can do except prolong the inevitable...which is what she plans on doing. shes going to start chemo.

i dont want her to. if there were a realistic chance that she could beat this, then yes, of course. but theres not. its everywhere. those couple of wks or maybe months that it will buy her wont be what i would want anyone to remember me by.

my mil got the same news in 05. stage 4, inoperable, spread through her body. she did chemo too. did it help? no. oh sure she was with us for a few more wks than she would have been. but they were absolutely horrible. she was sick all the time. she was in horrible pain all the time. she was in and out of it bc of all the pain meds--that couldnt touch the pain she was in--and the poison being pumped into her...sometimes she didnt recognize us. sometimes she called us by the wrong name. sometimes she thought it was years and years ago, when my husband and his brothers were all little. she called her grandsons by her childrens names. she couldnt walk by herself. she couldnt wipe herself. 

i dont want my aunt to go through this. one of my other aunts passed last may, from cancer...she also had alzheimers...she did not get treatment. yes, she was in pain, too, but for a much shorter time.

i dont want my aunt to die. but shes going to. thats reality. i want her to be around for as long as possible---as long as the good outweighs the bad. does me not wanting her to get chemo make me a bad person? am i wrong? i just dont want her to suffer any more than she has to, and will.

**no, im not going to tell her i dont want her to.**


by on Mar. 28, 2011 at 5:10 PM
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Replies (1-5):
KimmyShaw
by Ruby Member on Mar. 28, 2011 at 5:13 PM
Your only wrong if you tell anyone this, it isn't you place or choice. Be supportive even if you think it won't help her. :(
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dmarie2101
by Diamond Member on Mar. 28, 2011 at 5:27 PM

no, i would never tell her this. thats why im saying it here.

i will be supportive, but it makes me sad that i feel like its not going to help. i just want her to be in as little pain as possible for as little time as possible...i dont want her to prolong it, and suffer more, like my mil. my aunt (that told me) feels the same...her first husband died of cancer, he had radiation, not chemo, but the end results were the same. my grandmother had chemo...results were the same...its hard to feel like this, bc i feel like if im not supportive of the idea of chemo im basically wishing her dead, or to die sooner...and thats not it at all.

Quoting KimmyShaw:

Your only wrong if you tell anyone this, it isn't you place or choice. Be supportive even if you think it won't help her. :(


gwebkeijmmm
by Platinum Member on Mar. 28, 2011 at 5:29 PM
Nah, you're not wrong.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
3xangel
by Ruby Member on Mar. 28, 2011 at 5:34 PM

just dont tell her what youre thinking. just be supportive.

dmarie2101
by Diamond Member on Mar. 28, 2011 at 6:01 PM

im NOT and i AM.

of course i wouldnt tell her.

Quoting 3xangel:

just dont tell her what youre thinking. just be supportive.


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