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A little advice

Posted by on Apr. 13, 2011 at 2:53 AM
  • 11 Replies

Long story short... me and my boyfriend have been dating a year. There is 2 girls who always get in the way
1) His ex.. who I recently just found out he met up with a few months ago, which I'm not so worried about her- he pretty much told me the reason they met up so that he could bascially tell her to back off

2) A girl who he used to like a while back and she recently admited to him she liked him too when he liked her. Well they talk from time to time and she always goes to him for pretty much a shoulder to cry on and she's jealous of me because obviously she wants him and she always makes conversations like "I'm not good enough, no one will ever want me" So he doesn't talk to her about me because it makes her jealous and he doesn't talk about her to because he doesn't want to hurt me.
Well recently she has been a big problem in our relationship, I just cannot deal with him having a "friend" who he hides from me and I brought this up the other day that I won't deal with it for much longer... like many others I have been hurt in the past and don't want to get hurt again. And he said he would meet me halfway, he wouldn't stop talking to her but he would stop trying to be the "best friend" to her and that he would tell her that he can't talk to her as much because of me.. because he needs to be there for me more...


Well anyway.. I'm just looking for some type of advice or something. I was making the story short so it may not make the most sense. Just thoughts running in my head 


Any advice would be appreciated! Thanks
 

by on Apr. 13, 2011 at 2:53 AM
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Replies (1-10):
Nheoks03
by on Apr. 13, 2011 at 3:06 AM

BUMP!

kaitalynn
by on Apr. 13, 2011 at 3:09 AM
He sounds like he wants everyone at once and I think it should be his intentions you question as well
as theirs. You don't just try and be a best friend to a woman you liked when you have a girlfriend, and the girlfriend knows about this. That is disrespectful and insensitive to YOUR feelings as far as I'm concerned OP.
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Caitlin10081989
by Ruby Member on Apr. 13, 2011 at 3:14 AM

He needs to treat her as a friend and you as a girlfriend. He needs to set his friend straight, and tell her that he can talk to her but that him and her are just friends and nothing more and that you are his girlfriend. He needs to be honest with you and talk to you about it.

Nheoks03
by on Apr. 13, 2011 at 3:16 AM

But he doesn't feel comfortable about talking to me about her.. so I don't feel comfortable with just the situation in general.. if there was nothing to hide at all he would be comfortable talking to me about her, but he isn't which only makes it worse

Quoting Caitlin10081989:

He needs to treat her as a friend and you as a girlfriend. He needs to set his friend straight, and tell her that he can talk to her but that him and her are just friends and nothing more and that you are his girlfriend. He needs to be honest with you and talk to you about it.


Nheoks03
by on Apr. 13, 2011 at 3:17 AM

I agree. And it just makes it worse that I went through this with my last ex he was trying to be all buddy buddy with his ex and hide it from me, that is a main reason our relationship didn't work.. and that is where this relationship is heading to.. 

Quoting kaitalynn:

He sounds like he wants everyone at once and I think it should be his intentions you question as well
as theirs. You don't just try and be a best friend to a woman you liked when you have a girlfriend, and the girlfriend knows about this. That is disrespectful and insensitive to YOUR feelings as far as I'm concerned OP.


MixedCooke
by on Apr. 13, 2011 at 3:21 AM

If you let him go and he comes back then you truly have him

Nheoks03
by on Apr. 13, 2011 at 3:22 AM

this makes perfect sense, thanks.. might just have to try that.. 

Quoting MixedCooke:

If you let him go and he comes back then you truly have him


BrownEyedGirl86
by Platinum Member on Apr. 13, 2011 at 3:25 AM
He decides. You the girlfriend for a year or her the friend.
I did the same thing to my DF and he did the same to me.

There shouldn't he anyone that he puts over you period except children. And if he puts this chick there ..... Well I don't think you are stupid
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SadiasMomma
by Janet B. Benson on Apr. 13, 2011 at 3:26 AM
i would cut him loose! who needs all that baggage??
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Nheoks03
by on Apr. 13, 2011 at 3:29 AM

not me! lol

Quoting SadiasMomma:

i would cut him loose! who needs all that baggage??


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