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I've developed bad habits since my husband deployed

Posted by on Apr. 23, 2011 at 12:37 AM
  • 14 Replies

My kids go to bed way to late. I go to bed way to late. I rarely cook dinner. We eat a lot of sandwiches or spaghetti because my kids don't really appreciate when I cook. The laundry piles up. I spend too much time on the computer.

UGH! I hate all of these habits. I try to tell my husband that I miss him because he really keeps me on a good schedule. I always have dinner on the table, I always go to bed at a reasonable time when he's home.

Every day I wake up and say "today is not going to be like yesterday"...but I end the day a complete failure when I crawl into bed at 2 AM.

I have to get up at 6 AM (to get my kids ready for school) and I'm so tired and grumpy that I take an afternoon nap with my son which starts the whole cycle over.

I really miss my husband. His role at home is so much more important than he realizes.

by on Apr. 23, 2011 at 12:37 AM
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Replies (1-10):
thehickinhickor
by on Apr. 23, 2011 at 12:46 AM
Happens to me too sucks hugs
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KCallum1629
by on Apr. 23, 2011 at 12:46 AM

give yourself a break, mama! you're pregnant and allowed to be tired <3

sunkst
by on Apr. 23, 2011 at 12:47 AM

 I'm the opposite.  I am Cpt. Organized when he's gone.  I keep telling him he needs to go on TDY for like a month so I can get some shit done lol.

Beautifulmom513
by Platinum Member on Apr. 23, 2011 at 12:50 AM

the same thing happens when my husband is gone too. i hate it. 

hopinforanother
by on Apr. 23, 2011 at 12:57 AM


Quoting sunkst:

 I'm the opposite.  I am Cpt. Organized when he's gone.  I keep telling him he needs to go on TDY for like a month so I can get some shit done lol.

LOL! That's cute!

I'm like that on short things...like the first 6 weeks of a deployment or when he goes away for school or training. I just don't have it for the long haul =)

Baby Slings at Nurtured Family
Megs5384
by on Apr. 23, 2011 at 1:02 AM

Well, my husband isn't deployed, but I know how you feel. I go through periods when I just don't care and nothing gets done. It sounds to me like you're depressed. You could talk to your dr if you think that is necessary, or there are some things you can do on your own. One major thing that helps me is to make a schedule. Sit down at night before bed (I usually do mine about 9pm cause the kids are asleep and I've had a few minutes to relax) Break down your day from start to finish. Nothing is too small to put on the schedule. Here's a small piece of mine for an example.

6:30- Wake up
      Shower & Get dressed
7:15- Wake Zoey
      Get Zoey ready for school, pack lunch
8:00-Zoey to school
8:15- Breakfast
9:00- Kitchen Clean up
9:30- Break
      Start Laundry

And just continue down the list I include switching laundry (allowing about 45mins between loads), and breaks so I know I have something to work towards. Stick to it. It will help. I also meal plan. I do all three meals so that I know what to buy at the store. Once you have the plan, I can switch meals throughout the week, but I know I have all the ingredients for those meals. This also saves me money, which is a bonus. Make sure you include dinner prep in your schedule so you don't wait until the last minute and then give up because it will take to long. (something I'm guilty of doing at least twice a month!).

The schedule for me really is a life saver. If I have something I can look at and say "oh, I'm supposed to be doing this", I'm more likely to do it. And knowing that if I go in and clean the kitchen for 30 mins, I'll get a break to just do nothing. Knowing that you just have to do this one thing, then you have a break makes you more motivated to just get it done. Which reminded me of another thing.. when I schedule clean ups, I do 30 minute increments. Whatever I get done in that time is good enough. I often get overwhelmed by this "I have to get the whole thing done before I can rest" mentality, and then I just give up. But spreading the cleaning out throughout the day makes it easier. I do kitchen clean up after breakfast, lunch and dinner. That way, I spend 1.5 hours on my kitchen, but it doesn't feel like that much.

Also, watch your diet. The meal planning and eating regularly will help that. Eating a variety of fruits and veggies will help you feel better. Which will make you want to get more done, which will make you feel better, which will make you want to keep up with things... see the cycle? lol And maybe try a vitamin. Either a multi vitamin or a B-Complex, which will help you with energy levels.

As for bedtime, again, get on that schedule and stick with it. The kids will adjust quickly and you'll see a change in behavior. For you, lay down in bed at the same time every night, whether you're tired or not. Your body will eventually adjust to that being bed time. If you need a little help to start off, try some Melatonin. It's natural (your body produces it anyway) and really helps without feeling groggy.

Hang in there and try the schedule thing. It's tough at first, I know. But it really does make a difference, I promise. You can pm if you want. I'm happy to listen or share more ideas. :)

hopinforanother
by on Apr. 23, 2011 at 1:09 AM

I'm not depressed...I'm actually happier than I've ever been in my life. I feel great and I love life. I'm just in a very bad routine.

B-FigNewton
by on Apr. 23, 2011 at 1:09 AM

Aww! Hugs!

ilayframe
by on Apr. 23, 2011 at 5:41 AM
I was the same when my hubby deployed.hang in there!
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krayzbabylove
by on Apr. 23, 2011 at 6:05 AM
I'm so sorry, its a hard lifestyle to live, I personally told my husband no when he brought up joining the air force, I just know I couldn't handle his absence. Be strong, that's all you can do. Try, try again.
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