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have any of u dealt with this type of situation?

Posted by on Apr. 23, 2011 at 11:08 AM
  • 8 Replies
Ok, so, my dd is 2, she'll be 3 in the beginning of September. Her father has rarely been there, even when we lived together. He constituted sitting in the same house as spending time with her. She cried if he took her away from me (as in thought he was leaving with her) cried for me. She used to look at pics of him & say "daddy" now she doesn't even recognize him, even if u ask her "who is that?" She just stares at the pic. My problem is I'm in a new relationship & she tries to call him daddy. She'll even say things like "that daddy?". I always correct her & tell her "no that's Scott". If u knew my dd u would know just how out of character that is for her. She's sooo close to my bf, climbs in his lap & cuddles, kisses & hugs him, let's him carry her around, even away from me, things she'd NEVER let other ppl, especially men do.Now her father has decided he wants to spend time with her, alone. I'm not comfortable with it. He gets very angry & I don't want her to say "where's scott?" Or "I want scott" or worse "where's daddy, I want my daddy" & have him think I actually LET her call him that. Sorry this is so long I really have no one to talk to ab this so I just rambled a bit. But have any of u had the situation where ur young child called your SO daddy?
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by on Apr. 23, 2011 at 11:08 AM
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Replies (1-8):
much2learn
by on Apr. 23, 2011 at 11:10 AM

bump for you

 

ff-princess
by on Apr. 23, 2011 at 11:11 AM

no, because I didn't bring men around my child when he was that age.  I waited until I was in a committed relationship with a potential future before introducing my son and husband, we had been dating for months and ds was about 7, old enough to know the difference.

Young_Mommy89
by on Apr. 23, 2011 at 11:17 AM
Everyones situation is different, so plz don't be judgmental

Quoting ff-princess:

no, because I didn't bring men around my child when he was that age.  I waited until I was in a committed relationship with a potential future before introducing my son and husband, we had been dating for months and ds was about 7, old enough to know the difference.

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mnmomaof4
by on Apr. 23, 2011 at 11:18 AM

 I went through this with my daughter when I met my husband.  When her father called me all upset one day because she was talking about daddy Eric (my hubby)  he started to rip into me.  I  just stated to him that she is a little girl and neither of us told her to call him that but Im not going to get mad at her for it because she isnt exactly wrong since Eric is the one who is there day in and day out, taking care of her holding her.  It was hard but he's let it go and she now just has 2 daddies.  (her bio dad isnt exactly father of the year but he does call 3-4 times a month and sees her for a long weekend every couple of months, we live about 7 hrs apart)

Young_Mommy89
by on Apr. 23, 2011 at 11:25 AM
I'm trying to be really civil with him about everything, but he gets mad & says things like " what's he doing around her anyway?" If he says something about her calling him daddy its gonna be all I can do to not say "we don't encourage her saying it but maybe if u acted more like a father maybe she wouldn't call another man daddy" he hasn't seen her in over a month. He doesn't call or text & ask ab her.

Quoting mnmomaof4:

 I went through this with my daughter when I met my husband.  When her father called me all upset one day because she was talking about daddy Eric (my hubby)  he started to rip into me.  I  just stated to him that she is a little girl and neither of us told her to call him that but Im not going to get mad at her for it because she isnt exactly wrong since Eric is the one who is there day in and day out, taking care of her holding her.  It was hard but he's let it go and she now just has 2 daddies.  (her bio dad isnt exactly father of the year but he does call 3-4 times a month and sees her for a long weekend every couple of months, we live about 7 hrs apart)

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HouseKatof2
by on Apr. 23, 2011 at 11:43 AM

Unfortunately, my history with this issue will not be of much help to you. My daughter began to call my husband "daddy" when she was little too (around 3). I corrected her for a while, but she would go right back to it. 

Since my children's bio-father was abusive to them & they have nothing more than a superficial relationship with him. I finally say both my kids down & told them it was their decision on what they called their bio-dad & what they called their step-dad. They have each made the decision that my husband is "daddy" & their bio-dad is called "dad" on a good day, or his first name. 

My ex was mad in the beginning. He used to try and correct the kids, until one day my daughter (now 13) spun around on him & told him exactly what she thought about his insistence correcting her. She looked him straight in the eye & told him that she knew exactly who her daddy was & he wasn't it. He has since dropped it.

My ex has never really argued with my son (16 next month) about it. Perhaps he learned to leave well enough alone.

Young_Mommy89
by on Apr. 23, 2011 at 11:47 AM
I'm sorry for your situation. I wouldn't want him around if he had abused her. I've called my stepdad "daddy" since my mom & him were dating when I was like 3

Quoting HouseKatof2:

Unfortunately, my history with this issue will not be of much help to you. My daughter began to call my husband "daddy" when she was little too (around 3). I corrected her for a while, but she would go right back to it. 


Since my children's bio-father was abusive to them & they have nothing more than a superficial relationship with him. I finally say both my kids down & told them it was their decision on what they called their bio-dad & what they called their step-dad. They have each made the decision that my husband is "daddy" & their bio-dad is called "dad" on a good day, or his first name. 


My ex was mad in the beginning. He used to try and correct the kids, until one day my daughter (now 13) spun around on him & told him exactly what she thought about his insistence correcting her. She looked him straight in the eye & told him that she knew exactly who her daddy was & he wasn't it. He has since dropped it.


My ex has never really argued with my son (16 next month) about it. Perhaps he learned to leave well enough alone.

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HouseKatof2
by on Apr. 23, 2011 at 12:19 PM

 

Quoting Young_Mommy89:

I'm sorry for your situation. I wouldn't want him around if he had abused her. I've called my stepdad "daddy" since my mom & him were dating when I was like 3

Quoting HouseKatof2:

Unfortunately, my history with this issue will not be of much help to you. My daughter began to call my husband "daddy" when she was little too (around 3). I corrected her for a while, but she would go right back to it. 


Since my children's bio-father was abusive to them & they have nothing more than a superficial relationship with him. I finally say both my kids down & told them it was their decision on what they called their bio-dad & what they called their step-dad. They have each made the decision that my husband is "daddy" & their bio-dad is called "dad" on a good day, or his first name. 


My ex was mad in the beginning. He used to try and correct the kids, until one day my daughter (now 13) spun around on him & told him exactly what she thought about his insistence correcting her. She looked him straight in the eye & told him that she knew exactly who her daddy was & he wasn't it. He has since dropped it.


My ex has never really argued with my son (16 next month) about it. Perhaps he learned to leave well enough alone.

I hated the fact that my kids had to continue to see him, after all he had put them through. 

Unfortunately, in the world we live in today, his parental rights trump their human rights (yes it is very messed up). 

Luckily our civil judge gave him some very strict orders for mental health evaluations, counseling, and following a treatment plan. He has finally been medicated for mental issues I have known he had since a couple years into our short marriage. In order to keep seeing the kids, he has to stay fully medicated.  

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