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Why is it so hard to send clothing per the court order

Posted by on May. 21, 2011 at 10:05 AM
  • 20 Replies

Last weekend it was freezing here.. temps in the low 40's .. BM sent SD with a bag of shorts and t-shirts.. Thankfully, we have a full winter wardrobe for her, because she did this all winter long, so in November, I decided to go buy her clothes.. It is in the court order that DF provides all transportation (2 hour round trip on Friday's and Sunday's, every weekend and we go out there and take SD out to dinner on Wednesday's) and in turn she provides all clothing for the visitation.. it says weather appropriate, decent, and adequet fitting clothing to the mother's standard of living . BM doesn't drive, so that is why it was set up this way..We pay child support, on time every month..

This weekend, it's going to be in the upper 70's (already 72 at 10 am) to lower 80's.. she sends jeans, sweaters, a winter jacket, and long sleeve shirts.. really??

So I'm going out today to buy SD a summer wardrobe.. we don't see this as a big enough issue to take it back to court.. all SO has ever said about it, is asked her to please send weather appropriate clothing..

I'm so frustrated.. we spend almost 50 dollars on gas each weekend and she can't send appropriate clothing.. I'm just venting.. but this is crazy.. what if I was dumb enough to dress her daughter in those clothes?? or last weekend to put her in shorts in 40 degree weather..??

You would think she would think about what she was sending.. We're beginging to wonder if she even pays attention to what she puts SD in, since SD is always sick when we get her.. (We've taken her to a Dr. it's not an immune system issue). Just the cold, the flu, phnemonia once..

[Psychoanalysis]
is not the only way to resolve inner conflicts.  Life itself still
remains a very effective therapist. 
~Karen Horney, Our Inner Conflicts, 1945

by on May. 21, 2011 at 10:05 AM
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Replies (1-10):
amonkeymom
by Platinum Member on May. 21, 2011 at 12:32 PM

Oh, I'm sorry.  What a pain.  :(  I do think that you're doing the right thing by not giving BM the satisfaction of complaining about it though.  

OkieGirlKatrina
by on May. 21, 2011 at 12:34 PM

Document document document....  It will help if you go back to court.

BananaMuffins
by on May. 21, 2011 at 12:35 PM


Quoting OkieGirlKatrina:

Document document document....  It will help if you go back to court.


lil_Army_Wife05
by Ruby Member on May. 21, 2011 at 12:38 PM

It makes you wonder if she even takes care of her own child?

Is she sending those kinds of clothes just to piss you off or do you think she has no clue on how to dress her child according to the weather?


wedding countdown

nurbabe82
by on May. 21, 2011 at 12:41 PM

 

Quoting lil_Army_Wife05:

It makes you wonder if she even takes care of her own child?

Is she sending those kinds of clothes just to piss you off or do you think she has no clue on how to dress her child according to the weather?

 That is what I was wondering

mommaponch
by Gold Member on May. 21, 2011 at 12:42 PM

This sounds like a pain in the ass.  Also, one of the reasons that my ex and I have a different clothing situation.  Whatever he drops her off in on sunday is what she goes back to his house in on friday, there he supplies her clothing for the weekends he has her.  I don't have to worry about what she wears there/changes in weather, and I don't have to be picky about what he has her in and hope that it doesn't come back ruined.  The only things we have shared is winter coats and shoes.  No reason to buy a kid a new winter coat each year for two houses when she is only at his house 6 days a month.

Just playing devil's advocate here ... how old is stepdaughter and is there a chance that birth mom is allowing her to pick her own clothing and not checking that it's weather appropriate?  I know my 5 year old got herself dressed today, it's pouring rain and sixty degrees and she is wearing a spaghetti strap sundress.  If she isn't aware of it it might be worth saying something during drop off/pick up and just say "SD has been packing herself it looks like, you might want to double check her backpack next time, she looked really goofy at the beach in her winter coat!"  If this isn't the case and she's just packing like a moron either intentionally or not then I am sorry you have to deal with such a doofus.  At least you got to go shopping!

.kk.
by on May. 21, 2011 at 12:44 PM

I find it strange that she would be required to send clothing and that you put this in the court order. My ex and I both have our own set of clothes, dishes, diapers, etc., for the kids at our house. There is no need to send anything back and forth unless it's something the kids want. I see you have your own set of clothing for them anyhow so I guess I don't see the point.

I'm sorry she's so unreliable and irresponsible, though. That sounds like a PITA.

AjsMom0508
by on May. 21, 2011 at 12:45 PM

If it was me I would go through the clothing before you even leave BM house.  If it isn't appropriate hand it to her and tell her you need her to go get weather appropriate clothing out for you to take.

mommaponch
by Gold Member on May. 21, 2011 at 12:50 PM


Quoting .kk.:

I find it strange that she would be required to send clothing and that you put this in the court order. My ex and I both have our own set of clothes, dishes, diapers, etc., for the kids at our house. There is no need to send anything back and forth unless it's something the kids want. I see you have your own set of clothing for them anyhow so I guess I don't see the point.

I'm sorry she's so unreliable and irresponsible, though. That sounds like a PITA.


I think from what she said is that she didn't originally have her own set at the house, but birth mom's awful packing jobs forced her to do it for the same reason she is going out to get summer clothes now.

But, I completely agree with you about it being a strange setup, I much prefer my situation where we don't share items but each take care of Olivia's needs at our own homes

silverdawn99
by Jamie on May. 21, 2011 at 12:51 PM

BUMP!

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