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He's really close with his Ex...Should I be worried? A Little Long

Posted by on Jun. 4, 2011 at 7:58 AM
  • 11 Replies

Okay he's the scenario...

I've been dating my boyfriend for almost 2 years. We met at the college we go to. He is married. His wife left him 3 weeks after they got married (in 2009) for another man (super crappy of her right?!) Anyway they have a 3 year old daughter together and they are both really close to each other...to the point I start to worry...

Neither of them have the money for a divorce yet. She calls him all the time and always starts the conversation being about their daughter and it just seems like she calls for the silliest things. I understand having a child together means their are some joint decisions and topics that have to be dicussed, but I feel like she's just starting off the conversations about Kimmy just so she can talk to him and still feel involved with him somehow. He's still active in all the family affairs, like family drama lol and it really hits a nerve with me.

He gets Kimmy twice a week but spends time over at his ex's house "seeing and visiting Kimmy" more often than makes me comfortable, ya know? I just bought a house and he will be living there with me.

Also, I would like to include that we broke up over a year ago and I messed around with another man. No sex just messing around and he found out about it. He was really upset because his ex slept with another man and all women are the same.. blah blah blah...difference is he pushed me away and we were broken up anyway...yet he still compares me to his wife cheating, leaving, etc. He always throws that in my face. Anyway I think he has or has atleast thought about sleeping with her either because he misses her or is in retaliation for what I did.

His ex had a child with another man and so I think the odds of my boyfriend and his ex getting back together are slim, but crazy things happen with people ya know?

So bash me if you must, but I'd really like to hear from moms who have been in this situation where their husband (past or present) was married before you and had children and if you ever felt like they were too close? What did you do?

**Note: I've told him how I feel about all this numerous times, and we never really get anywhere...he just tries to reassure me they won't get back together and that he loves me...**

Thank you for reading and for any feedback!

 

by on Jun. 4, 2011 at 7:58 AM
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Replies (1-10):
ginabear1
by on Jun. 4, 2011 at 8:01 AM
Bump
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Kodysmommy928
by on Jun. 4, 2011 at 8:03 AM
Well technically, it's not his ex, she is his wife. Until his divorce was final, I wouldn't be with him.
Daytripn
by on Jun. 4, 2011 at 8:03 AM

 It sounds like a no win situation for you, and a great situation for him. He has 2 relationships, and you have half of one. I would move on.

Kaelaasmom
by on Jun. 4, 2011 at 8:04 AM
She's not his ex.
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JaydensMom42009
by on Jun. 4, 2011 at 8:06 AM

I probably should've changed that to **SOON TO BE EX**

Lanie_momofone
by on Jun. 4, 2011 at 8:07 AM
uhm yea hun...me and my estranged dh seperated and he never visited with DD inside my home....i say something is going on ...best to let him go now.
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mommyakabooby
by on Jun. 4, 2011 at 8:11 AM
Well, I was friends with my ex. He would come over to visit, but he also didn't have another place to take the kids. For awhile it was fine. But it turned out that he was really trying to get laid.
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KatieJ123
by on Jun. 4, 2011 at 8:11 AM

Well, I haven't personally been in that situation, but if you have to ask if you should be worried, you already have your answer.

If he isn't respecting your feelings about this and coming up with a workable plan to deal with it that you're both comfortable with, then he owes you an explanation for that.  

mommyof11050307
by Ruby Member on Jun. 4, 2011 at 8:12 AM
He's having his cake and eating it to. Why would he wanna change??? I wouldn't allow him to live at my or be with me till the divorce is done. In the time they have been separated they could have gotten one.
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chais_wifey
by on Jun. 4, 2011 at 8:17 AM


Quoting mommyof11050307:

He's having his cake and eating it to. Why would he wanna change??? I wouldn't allow him to live at my or be with me till the divorce is done. In the time they have been separated they could have gotten one.
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