• In the Spotlight:
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Speration/Divorce??!

Posted by on Jun. 4, 2011 at 12:35 PM
  • 11 Replies

I was told yesterday by my husband that he doesn't know if he wants to be in this relationship anymore. He keeps telling me its not me, it's him but doesn't know why he is unhappy. I asked him how long he wanted to be sperated for, and he said he didn't know. Idk if there will be a divorce, or things will work themselves out. Either way i am totally lost, hurt and on the verge of being in a very dark place. I am trying to keep it together for our 2 year old son who just adores his father. I tell him Daddy is at work baby, and you will see him soon. He didn't even fight for him to take him, not that i would have let him take him anyways.

What do i do, how do i cope with this. To make matters workse, i am a sahm, and now i have no income... guess its time for me to look for a job just to be in the safe side.

by on Jun. 4, 2011 at 12:35 PM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
_the.mrs_
by on Jun. 4, 2011 at 12:37 PM

Wow, hun....I'm sorry. HUGS

You got this....you are stronger then the pain....see if someone can keep your son for a night, cry it out, get it out, then pick up the pieces and rebuild.

rockinmomto2
by on Jun. 4, 2011 at 12:37 PM

 *hugs* Suggest that he goes to counceling. It will help him figure out what he really wants out of life. And definately get a job...you don't want to be stuck with no income.

sherry132
by Ruby Member on Jun. 4, 2011 at 12:38 PM

 The crazy thing about situations like this is usually the one that was always happy before recovers and finds a new sense of self. You'll be fine. Divorce or not. Take this time to take care of yourself and your child. I'm sorry you are going through so much right now.

1likeme
by on Jun. 4, 2011 at 12:39 PM
I am so very sorry. My husband and I separated in January. The bad days will come and when they do accept it for what it is. You will go through a grieving process and then you will figure out what YOU want.

Don't be surprised if he comes crawling back and you don't even care.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
isaiahsmomma86
by on Jun. 4, 2011 at 12:41 PM

I think you should talk to a lawyer... I believe, i'm not sure, that even if you are just separated, that he would still have to pay child support. That would help a bit with your income issues... other than that, i dont know momma, i'm sorry this is happening, *hugs* Stay strong for that little one, and just let him know mommy is there and loves him very much!

godsgirl26
by ♥Char2theMaine♥ on Jun. 4, 2011 at 12:43 PM

wow this is so sad..hugs

Elevenhounds
by on Jun. 4, 2011 at 12:50 PM

Yes this.  DONT let him get away without paying child support.  You should be able to go online and find your CSE website which should have a link to a 'support calculator' that can help you figure out what the state considers a fair amount based on his income, your income (or lack of) and how many children you have.  The calculator is for your own records so it doesn't automatically go to the state or anything.

With that information you need to talk with your husband about what you need in support payments and when they will be made.  You need to do this for your child EVEN IF IT IS HARD FOR YOU AND YOU WANT TO CRAWL IN A HOLE! 

If he refuses then you need to speak with CSE or even your local social services or Housing and Human services or welfare office (whatever they call it in your area).

It is not right for a man to ditch his responsibility for his wife and child who have depended on him just because he doesn't "feel like being married anymore".

 

Quoting isaiahsmomma86:

I think you should talk to a lawyer... I believe, i'm not sure, that even if you are just separated, that he would still have to pay child support. That would help a bit with your income issues... other than that, i dont know momma, i'm sorry this is happening, *hugs* Stay strong for that little one, and just let him know mommy is there and loves him very much!


Lilypie Pregnancy tickers

Elevenhounds
by on Jun. 4, 2011 at 12:57 PM

My ex did this to me a long time ago.  He didn't leave but he was having an emotional affair, told me he didn't want to be married anymore and was rarely home.  We had three kids at the time.

We did get through it.  BUUUUT several years after that I did leave him.  Different reasons.  But he did all this crap when we had been married about 7 years and we were together for another 8 years after that. 

I am a Christian and I did a WHOLE lot of praying.  I also did some stuff I wouldn't do now, nor do I recommend.  (along the lines of never letting him see my pain and betrayal and only showing him a sweet and loving wife).

I also redecorated the house a little to make it feel like "mine" (it somehow helped me cope).  I spent a lot of time with the kids.  And I worked on training the dogs.  These are things that helped me.  I tried to put the 'bad' part of being a single mom out of my mind and focused on TRYING to enjoy a bit of independence.  lol.  This wouldn't work for everyone but I thought I would share.

Xtina0828
by on Jun. 4, 2011 at 4:00 PM

I don't think im strong enough for this, i have my moments where i feel like i can do this, and i can be a great single parent! Then there are times where i just break down, and feel like i will never recover from this. This is not what i pictured my life being like at 23, and i can't fathom the idea of not having my son with me all the time.

livyla
by Platinum Member on Jun. 4, 2011 at 4:02 PM

 

Quoting sherry132:

 The crazy thing about situations like this is usually the one that was always happy before recovers and finds a new sense of self. You'll be fine. Divorce or not. Take this time to take care of yourself and your child. I'm sorry you are going through so much right now.

 great input and advice...

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)