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He cheated on me, so he is out...I have an urgent question...*kind of long*

Posted by on Jun. 4, 2011 at 2:57 PM
  • 357 Replies

My fiance and I called it quits.  He left that night and now he is saying that I can't use any of his money to pay "my" bills.  Here's the situation;

When we were together, he told me he wanted to earn the money, and he wanted me to be comfortable at home with our kids.  I agreed because I couldn't see leaving my child with anyone else.    Now, I found out from an estranged friend of his that he cheated.  We got into this huge argument because he doesn't think it was cheating.  Basically, because he didn't know the girl and he was not attracted to her, so it was not technically cheating.  He tried to blame it on me.  He said it was my fault, because if I had been with him instead of helping my mother out with her problems ( she is having some legal problems with her mothers house )  he wouldn't have felt like he needed to go out with his friends.  He wouldn't have gotten drunk and he wouldn't have been with that woman.  If I had been there the whole time * roll my eyes*.  What ever, I am not buying that A*hole. 

Anyways, he went to a motel room.  I called him yesterday and told him I needed the check card because I had to pay the rent electric and the car payment.  He told me to get a job ( which is what I am doing) and pay them with that money.  He is not going to support me. So I say, your not going to let me pay the bills?  Your kids live here too!  We could get evicted if I can't pay the rent.  You know they have a no tolerance rule about the rent.  He says he knows, and if we get evicted than the kids can come live with him.  He should have an apartment by the end of next week.  So he is willing to let us get evicted and have his kids lose a lot of their things just to spite me.  What a guy. 

Here's the thing I was wondering.  He gets his checks directly deposited in my bank account.  His name is nowhere on my bank account. He can't have a bank account because he owes 2 banks.  So I was wondering if you would think it is legal for me to go ahead and pay the bills with the money that is in my account, even though he said not to?  I am desperate here. I have an interview for a job, but its not until 2 weeks from now.  My rent is due today, and so are my other bills. I was also thinking about canceling the check card that he has, but he needs it to stay at that motel.  So IDK if I should?

Honestly I would have never thought he would do something like this.  We have been together for 10 yrs.  He has never been like this in the past.  Only until I started to help my mother ( they don't get along ).  Before I would have sworn to you up, down, and sideways that he would never be one to cheat on me.  I would have told you I new him and trusted him fully.  IDK why, but I haven't cried about this.  I am a little angry, but more so indifferent.  You would think I would be trying to claw his eye's out or locking myself in my room for days on end.  But for some reason I don't feel a whole lot.  IDK if its because I am more occupied on getting my life sorted out for my kids or not?  It's all so weird to me.

by on Jun. 4, 2011 at 2:57 PM
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Replies (1-10):
notjstasocermom
by Ruby Member on Jun. 4, 2011 at 3:00 PM

i would pay the bills and tell him paybacks a bitch. but thats just me.

two4one
by on Jun. 4, 2011 at 3:01 PM

I think if the money is in your bank, use it. He is being an extreme asshole.

momto2ladies
by on Jun. 4, 2011 at 3:01 PM

I would pay the bills with the money and cancel the card but I am spiteful like that....... And then I would ask him how he likes to be out in the street.....

skileybug
by on Jun. 4, 2011 at 3:01 PM

I dont know how legal it would be for you to take his money out BUT if your name is the only name on it... I would do it!!! He needs to be punched in the face

Christy_517
by Invisible on Jun. 4, 2011 at 3:02 PM

 I would pay the bills. They need to be paid, the money is in your account. Go for it. Once you have a job, start figuring things out. And file for child support ASAP!

mommas3cubs
by on Jun. 4, 2011 at 3:02 PM

This is what happens when you play house. I am glad you are rid of the douchebag, and if the money is in your account I don't see why you couldn't use the money to pay bills.

ZanderandBella
by on Jun. 4, 2011 at 3:02 PM
It's in your account under your name. Pay the bills
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skileybug
by on Jun. 4, 2011 at 3:03 PM

Pay your bills.. ( have you checked too see if he took any money out) then after your bills are paid cancel the card... then tell him to figure out how to get the money out of the bank...lol

mommysteph28
by on Jun. 4, 2011 at 3:03 PM

I so want to.. I was just afraid of the legal situation.  I can't afford to get into trouble. KWIM?

Quoting notjstasocermom:

i would pay the bills and tell him paybacks a bitch. but thats just me.


AllAboutYou1223
by on Jun. 4, 2011 at 3:03 PM

I would pay the rent out of the bank account, but that's just me.

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