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Is oral sex even more intimate than just intercourse?TMI

Posted by on Jun. 29, 2011 at 2:37 PM
  • 22 Replies

Because a friend says he won't forgive her husband who was messing around with a friend of hers. She found a tape taken years back of the two of them, and apparently, he gave her oral sex. Her husband has asked for forgiveness and has agreed to all his terms, including couple's therapy. But she says she can't look past the fact that they "not only had intercourse, but also oral sex" which in her opinion, it is way more intimate. Opinions?


by on Jun. 29, 2011 at 2:37 PM
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o0gone0o
by Platinum Member on Jun. 29, 2011 at 2:39 PM
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I guess it depends on the person.  Maybe she feels like its easy to just open your legs and have sex with just anyone, but would be more picky about who she went down on or let go down on her.  

momof4boyz1girl
by on Jun. 29, 2011 at 2:39 PM

I think one is just as bad as the other but let's just say if I got done that way someone wouldn't have a d*ck or lips when I got done.

xxxAthena
by on Jun. 29, 2011 at 2:41 PM
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when i was younger i wouldsay no it isnt more intimate. now as an adult i think that i would be more hurt by my husband giving oral sex than getting. because he is giving oral sex he gets nothing in return and he is focused on pleasing her..if he is getting oral sex then he is getting his rocks off and not having to do anything to her....i dunno if that made sense to anyone else but it made sense in my mind lol. .... i guess what im trying to say is he would have to be way focused on her to go down on her and he could really float off and completely forget about her if she was going down on him and the same for sex..he is getting something from it...her pleasure isn't really a factor. 

iloveoj
by One Step Closer on Jun. 29, 2011 at 2:42 PM

Exactly that is what her reasoning is more or less. Thanks.

Quoting xxxAthena:

when i was younger i wouldsay no it isnt more intimate. now as an adult i think that i would be more hurt by my husband giving oral sex than getting. because he is giving oral sex he gets nothing in return and he is focused on pleasing her..if he is getting oral sex then he is getting his rocks off and not having to do anything to her....i dunno if that made sense to anyone else but it made sense in my mind lol. .... i guess what im trying to say is he would have to be way focused on her to go down on her and he could really float off and completely forget about her if she was going down on him and the same for sex..he is getting something from it...her pleasure isn't really a factor. 



ack86
by on Jun. 29, 2011 at 2:43 PM
Did this happen before your friend was with him or after?
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ChaoticAtBest
by on Jun. 29, 2011 at 2:45 PM

yep!  not everyone does oral all the time so for a man to give a woman oral sex, he is doing it for her pleasure. Way more intimate imo.

Quoting xxxAthena:

when i was younger i wouldsay no it isnt more intimate. now as an adult i think that i would be more hurt by my husband giving oral sex than getting. because he is giving oral sex he gets nothing in return and he is focused on pleasing her..if he is getting oral sex then he is getting his rocks off and not having to do anything to her....i dunno if that made sense to anyone else but it made sense in my mind lol. .... i guess what im trying to say is he would have to be way focused on her to go down on her and he could really float off and completely forget about her if she was going down on him and the same for sex..he is getting something from it...her pleasure isn't really a factor. 


iloveoj
by One Step Closer on Jun. 29, 2011 at 2:48 PM

They have been married 9 years and this happened 4 years ago, they were together and got separated after she found out, but they are now trying their best to mend their relationship.

Quoting ack86:

Did this happen before your friend was with him or after?



PinaiAngelPai15
by on Jun. 29, 2011 at 3:08 PM
1 mom liked this


Quoting xxxAthena:

when i was younger i wouldsay no it isnt more intimate. now as an adult i think that i would be more hurt by my husband giving oral sex than getting. because he is giving oral sex he gets nothing in return and he is focused on pleasing her..if he is getting oral sex then he is getting his rocks off and not having to do anything to her....i dunno if that made sense to anyone else but it made sense in my mind lol. .... i guess what im trying to say is he would have to be way focused on her to go down on her and he could really float off and completely forget about her if she was going down on him and the same for sex..he is getting something from it...her pleasure isn't really a factor. 

Yes, I completely agree with this right here.

We have just enough religion to make us hate, but not enough religion to make us love one another. ~~ Jonathan Swift

ack86
by on Jun. 29, 2011 at 3:10 PM
That definately makes a difference then. I do think the counsiling will help. When my DH and I had an issue, the counsiling worked very well for us. I hope things work out well for them.


Quoting iloveoj:

They have been married 9 years and this happened 4 years ago, they were together and got separated after she found out, but they are now trying their best to mend their relationship.

Quoting ack86:

Did this happen before your friend was with him or after?



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nebraskamomto2
by on Jun. 29, 2011 at 3:10 PM

 IMO, it's more intimate.  I'm extremely picky about that sort of thing, so I can understand her reasoning.

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