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My Daughter's Friend Stole From her

Posted by on Jul. 7, 2011 at 9:13 AM
  • 16 Replies

Normally, I don't go around here posting stuff about my personal life.... But this is REALLY bothering me, and it's a tricky situation... I just want some opinions and ideas here..

We recently moved to another state, and it took my 8 year old daughter a while to connect to some other kids... FINALLY she makes a little friend, and I volunteer at the school, (both to get involved with her education and to be able to meet other people)... This other little girl's mother also volunteers in the classroom, and we went on a couple of field trips together, and did a few projects... We get along..

We have had her daughter over a couple of times for play dates... I'm not going to really talk about how much it bugs me that this other Mom will call me to have a play date, then drop off her daughter, that is a whole different post altogether...   Anyhoo- she has been over  to play, and I thought things were OK... Come to find out, this kid steals..

First it was an Eraser... then a Littlest Pet Shop toy.... The last time she came over, the girls were in the bedroom, playing on the Nintendo DS's.. (after being in the pool for 3 hours)... We bought mine the 3DS for her birthday, and the Nintendogs game to go with it.... Her friend does not have the 3DS.. She has the regular one.. You can't play the 3D games in the regular one...   My daughter left her game in HER 3DS... She played it every single day

So her Mom comes to pick her up, and her daughter says... Oooh, I forgot something in the bedroom... She runs in, and comes out like 2 minutes later.... After she leaves, my daughter goes into her room to play DS until Dinner is ready, and comes out saying her Game is gone.... 

We tear her room apart looking for it... It's no where.. She telsl us again and again, I had it in my DS!!  She didn't play it!  It doesn't fit in hers.. But she kept asking to borrow it..

So I called her Mom, and asked if accidentally, did her daughter leave it in her DS, and take it home mistakenly??  (because you can't just say, Oh your rat stole my daughter's $50 game)  .. I can hear her asking her daughter if she has it, and accidentally took it, and the little dirt bag says NO, I last saw the game on the desk ... We don't even HAVE a desk in her room... 

So by this time, mine is having a nuclear melt down... She is telling me that her friend told her that 'She wanted her game, and she had better give it to her or else"   

So a week goes by.... I hear NOTHING from this mother....  then all of a sudden... She has to have a play date... She is being very aggressive about it...

MY kid wants nothing to do with this other girl.. .She is hurt, angry & feels betrayed...  I told this other Mom we could meet up at a Pool Park one day next week....

I have a feeling this video game may magically show up again next week... She hasn't even asked me if we ever found the game... If I thought my kid may have swiped something from someone else's house... I would shake her down... If I found it - I would have driven back over, and forced her to hand it back over...

I don't know what else to do... I never went out and accused her to her mother of stealing...  I have always maintained the 'Accidentally forgot to put it back" theory with her...

Any more ideas?????

by on Jul. 7, 2011 at 9:13 AM
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Replies (1-10):
Zanny
by on Jul. 7, 2011 at 9:16 AM

bump

b_rod
by on Jul. 7, 2011 at 9:19 AM
I would tell her that her daughter is not welcome in your home until your daughter's missing stuff, all of it, shows up.
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DallasGirl214
by on Jul. 7, 2011 at 9:20 AM
I would just be blunt about it and say something like, "Look, your daugher has taken a couple things from my daughter. My daughter thinks she may have her DS game. I would greatly appreciate it if you checked yourself for my daughters game." If another mom came to me and said that I would be livid with my daughter. And if she gets offended, at least you don't have to have those dreadful playdates anymore. Lol
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b_rod
by on Jul. 7, 2011 at 9:20 AM
Oh, and if she gets it back, she still can't come over.
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othermom
by Ruby Member on Jul. 7, 2011 at 9:22 AM

I would talk with her, tell her about the missing stuff and ask her to check for it.  I would tell them that the daughter can not come and play at your house any more. You will not allow a child who steals in your house.

Two of the neighbor kids around here tried to take something from my kids, nothing big. One got caught by his parents and he got in trouble over it and had to return it and was grounded from coming here for a while.(after that the kid has been WONDERFUL). The other child tried to pocket a toy while I was sitting right there and i caught her and made her put it back, told her she had to leave because we do not allow that in our house and called her mom, who was great about talking to her.

iamcafemom83
by Rah-Rah on Jul. 7, 2011 at 9:25 AM
Totally agree with this.
You may not get the game back but at least she wont be able to steal anything else. And when she does give it back I wouldn't rush into more playdates with them.


Quoting DallasGirl214:

I would just be blunt about it and say something like, "Look, your daugher has taken a couple things from my daughter. My daughter thinks she may have her DS game. I would greatly appreciate it if you checked yourself for my daughters game." If another mom came to me and said that I would be livid with my daughter. And if she gets offended, at least you don't have to have those dreadful playdates anymore. Lol
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Zanny
by on Jul. 7, 2011 at 9:26 AM

She isn't welcome anymore...

Mine wants NOTHING to do with this other kid anymore....  

I'm not going to force her to play with her if she doesn't want to.. I've told her time and time again that I beleive my daughter... She has every right to feel the way she does, and I don't blame her... 

The ONLY reason she is even agreeing to see her next week is because we are going to a pool park, with a HUGE waterslide... She knows that there will be other kids to play with there, if anything... 

She asked me "What if J makes me let her use my flippers, she might steal those too"?    Good question Girl.  I told her , you know, if you don't want her to use any of your stuff, then tell her no... You don't have to share...  It's not like I can go up to a Lamborghini Owner and say... "I want a Turn, you have to Share" and take off for a drive...  Why should she?? 

These kids are 8 years old, by the way

two4one
by on Jul. 7, 2011 at 9:30 AM

Completely agree with this. If you tiptoe around it, and the mother isn't aware of her kid stealing, then ther will be no way for this to ever stop (whether it is with your child or someone else's.

Quoting DallasGirl214:

I would just be blunt about it and say something like, "Look, your daugher has taken a couple things from my daughter. My daughter thinks she may have her DS game. I would greatly appreciate it if you checked yourself for my daughters game." If another mom came to me and said that I would be livid with my daughter. And if she gets offended, at least you don't have to have those dreadful playdates anymore. Lol


 Mom of twins


Peyton and Mackenzie~11/22/04


Do Not Breed or Buy Labels

Zanny
by on Jul. 7, 2011 at 9:46 AM

You ladies are so right!

My husband doesn't think I should say anything, but I really do..

When I see her next week, I am going to say something to her...  She needs to know - I would want to know if my kid did something.... then I would wonder why they don't want to play anymore...


TheatreMom97
by on Jul. 7, 2011 at 9:50 AM

That Mom needs to know what her daughter is up to.  It's awkward & uncomfortable but you have to tell her.  I wouldn't hesitate if one of my son's $50 games was stolen!  And you really shouldn't let the mom get away with just sneaking it back into your daughter's possession.  They both need to be held accountable!

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