Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

I suspect abuse but can't prove it. WWYD

Posted by on Jul. 8, 2011 at 11:04 PM
  • 10 Replies

I watched my nephew last week while his mom, my sister, was out of town with her hubby (who is not the father).  They lived out of state until recently so I hadn't seen my nephew that many times in his life, he is 2 1/2.  Well while I had him at my house I saw some red flags.  One example was when he dropped a carrot on the floor.  He started crying and saying "I'm sorry, I'm sorry" over and over and clutching his arms into his body.  I just told him it was ok and gave him a big hug.  At bathtime I checked him over for any marks.  He had a few, but nothing that couldn't be explained by the fact that he is 2.  My sis is known to be a bit reckless and immature.  We're not very close, since she moved to another state right after high school.  I decided to have my nephew over more often for sleepovers and to play with his cousin (and my sis is more than happy to pawn him off to me).  This way I can keep an eye on him and make sure he's ok.  What would you do?  I know some people would say to call CPS but there is no proof of any abuse.

by on Jul. 8, 2011 at 11:04 PM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
BananaMuffins
by on Jul. 8, 2011 at 11:07 PM
I wouldn't call CPS just yet, but I think you being around him more and keeping a close eye on the situation is a good idea.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
TarotMommy
by on Jul. 8, 2011 at 11:09 PM
I agree.


Quoting BananaMuffins:

I wouldn't call CPS just yet, but I think you being around him more and keeping a close eye on the situation is a good idea.

Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Keilman1
by on Jul. 8, 2011 at 11:10 PM

I would definitely keep an eye on things, but do not start asking him a lot questions.  I only say this because asking questions the wrong way can lead to the wrong answers. That is better left to the professionals.  I think questions, like "Oh, how did you get that boo boo?" is okay, but he probably won't answer or he may get very upset, just watch his reactions to things. 

It seems that he could be being abused so watch and listen.  I don't think you need hard core proof, but a strong idea is sufficient enough to call cps.

angie729
by Ruby Member on Jul. 8, 2011 at 11:11 PM

I would try to be around him more as well as with her and watch. See how she interacts with him and such. Hope everything is ok.

sweetktn
by on Jul. 8, 2011 at 11:17 PM

If it was me I would do what you are doing, have him over more and keep him close. Don't say anything about how he's acting but document it and once you have some documentation of his reactions (like when he dropped the carrot) take it to a child psychologist and ask their opinion. If they see an alarming trend they will ask to see him. Also if he does pop up with any strange marks (like handprints/fingerprints) take pictures and have a couple copies saved in diff places. Like start a new email addy and email them to that email, a copy on your computer and maybe a flash drive. Good luck, he's lucky to have an auntie that cares like you do.

myfoursonsks
by on Jul. 8, 2011 at 11:19 PM

 If you TRULY suspect child abuse EVER, you need to report it. It isn't YOUR job to prove it. That is why they do investigations.

SouthernMomma09
by on Jul. 8, 2011 at 11:20 PM

 Now, I don't know her, but from what you've SAID, I don't suspect abuse. My 2.5 year old does that when he does something wrong, goes "im sorry im sorry" and we have spanked him under 5x his LIFE. and he's bruised like I beat him, but he's a rough and tumble little boy.

afwifeandmommy3
by on Jul. 8, 2011 at 11:22 PM



Quoting BananaMuffins:

I wouldn't call CPS just yet, but I think you being around him more and keeping a close eye on the situation is a good idea.

Posted on CafeMom Mobile
MomofVictor
by on Jul. 8, 2011 at 11:23 PM

I think you are doing the right thing. Make sure you document everything. I would be concerned about the way he acted when he dropped the carrot.

kaitlynsmommy31
by on Jul. 8, 2011 at 11:28 PM

I'd keep a close eye on things and not tell your sister that you are. Otherwise she would be likely to pull away and then you wouldn't know what is going on with your nephew.

Good luck!

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)