Who the f is wrong here?!?? Alternative viewpoints appreciated!

[Cake.Lady]

A few years ago, I found out the man I always thought was my bio dad (he died when I was 9) might not be my dad. I asked my mOm about the other guy, & she scoffed at the notion. Fast forward to march, my aunt gave this guy my number & he wanted a DNA test to ease his mind. My mother refused a DNA test with the guy who died when his family pushed it for S.S. purposes. So, I called my mom & told her I was considering doing it because he deserved peace of mind. I asked her, again, if he might be my father & she said there was a possibility. Well, I got angry at her for lying to me. She informed me it was "none of my fucking business" who he was & disowned me. Seriously, we haven't spoken since march :(. So, the DNA test came back negative, but her brother & other family members have came forward, saying at that time in her life she was fucking everything with a dick. So, now I'm doing an avuncular test with the dead man's son & his mom, & his brother. (my 'brother's' mom did the DNA test when our 'dad' passed away). My grandmother is supporting my mom & saying it's none of my business who my bio dad is (I'm 25 btw). I feel like I have the right to know for 100% certainty who he is. I mean, if he's not my dad, then I have a dad out there & possibly siblings. Not to mention, the dead guys family is really hurt by all of this because me & my 'brother' are all they have left of him :( am I horrible for wanting to know the truth??

[mlsc85]

wow.....your mom and grandma sound like a piece of work....

It is absolutely your business, how could they say it isn't?

[sissyboogs]

I think it absolutely is your right to know, not only for peace of mind purposes, but for medical reasons as well.

Good luck.

[-MakeMeBad-]

Well, I'll say first that I don't think you're wrong in wanting to know. I would want to know too. But why do you have brother in quotes like he's not your brother? You both have the same mom, right? 

[kagegirl]

You are SOOOO not wrong for wanting to know, and I think your mom is selfish. You have every right to want to know, not only for your peace of mind, but, there could be genetic health issues you need to know about. 

[amomynous_j]

i think it's absolutly your right to know, however don't have high hopes. there could very well be a good reason your mom and grandma aren't being supportive.

[futureshock]

How can it not be your business who YOUR dad is???

[tialisa]

 

Quoting sissyboogs:

I think it absolutely is your right to know, not only for peace of mind purposes, but for medical reasons as well.

Good luck.

 

[DanaG70]

 I know *I* would want to know who my father was.

It is quite possible that your mother is ashamed of the way she acted in her youth though so I "kind of" understand her thinking. Not that I agree with her.

[Cake.Lady]

No. Half brother - same alleged father, different moms (except, he had a DNA test with him)

Quoting -MakeMeBad-:

Well, I'll say first that I don't think you're wrong in wanting to know. I would want to know too. But why do you have brother in quotes like he's not your brother? You both have the same mom, right? 

[Cake.Lady]

That's what I was thinking.

Quoting futureshock:

How can it not be your business who YOUR dad is???