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should i call and have a welfare check done? *Thursday update* She Finally Made contact

Posted by on Aug. 17, 2011 at 1:01 AM
  • 134 Replies

OK long story short my husband has custody of his sons. They are my sons to I'm their bonus mommy. They have been calling Bio mom for the past two weeks and she hasn't. answered her phone. I know this past Saturday oldest son wanted to. tell her how their first football game went and she never answered. And no answer or return call on Sunday. I texted her letting her know the boys had important news to share still no answer. So my question is this. Should I call and request a welfare check be done so I can put the boys mind at ease or should I continue to let them call until she finally answers? I just don't want to start any problems with her. She's already accused me of trying to keep her from their football games because of the way they do the schedules which we may find out a week before the game or a few days before the game. There is no set schedule. So idk what to do. I'm extremely pregnant and don't need her to cause a problem because her sons are worried about her and I call the cops to make sure shes OK for them.

 

*Update sorta*
I talked to dh this morning about doing the welfare check on his ex wife. He said to have the boys call her again today and tomorrow. I have sent her text letting her know oldest son wanted to talk to her and is upset that she isn't answering or returning their calls. Still no answer. If we can't get ahold of her by tomorrow dh is going to call and have the welfare check done. I want to put the boys minds at ease. If it wasn't for them being upset by not reaching her I wouldn't even think about having this done. But my boys come first. And they want to know why she hasn't called. Or answered. I will update this afternoon and tomorrow after the boys try calling again all updates will be in the replies until dh gets home with his laptop. Thank you ladies for the help but I think this is the best way to do especially for the boys.

 

*update2*
Sorry it has taken so long to update. After my doctors appointment I had a ton of stuff going on. My mil had a number in her address book for the boys grandma on their mom's side. I called that number and got no answer. But did leave a message for her to call me back if it was the right residence. I wasn't home when the boys got home but my mil had them try calling her mom again only thing is there is no record for the house phone like our cell phones can keep. Of course still no answer. I am wondering if dh can call the child support office and see if they can tell him who and where she is employed at there in Arkansas. Dh and I have both texted her yet again letting her know they boys are wanting to speak with her. Still nothing I am hoping for the boys sake she is indeed OK. Oldest son is starting to get extremely upset about it. As a mother I can't go a day with out talking to my kids even when they are with family. And by her having 2 other children since the boys I thought she would of changed and want to be more involved with the boys. But she is yet again showing her true colors and its not her or I who are having to suffer but my boys are having to suffer and I hate it for them
.

 

  • meagan0716
  • by Gold Member on Aug. 17, 2011 at 10:12 PM
  • *Just a tiny update*
    So far still no contact. From Bio mom. I don't know why I am angry at her maybe its just because I am watching my boys hurting. Oldest son asked me tonight why she hasn't answered their calls or call back. I told him idk. But we will know soon enough. Bless their hearts. Oldest son said all he want to tell her is they won his ball game Saturday. I told him I know. He started crying tonight about it. I told him its OK to cry. And that I love him very much. Youngest son really doesn't seem to be as affected about not hearing from his mom. I'm doing the best I can to keep from breaking down and letting my pregnancy hormones get the best of me. I'm trying to stay strong for the boys but it's killing me knowing that they are hurting especially oldest son. Like I said youngest son doesn't seemed to bothered but both of their attitudes are off they are constantly fighting. Youngest son is being mean to DD. So I know its affecting him but he's showing it with anger it seems like.
  •  

    *Thursday Update*

    Ok So I moved all of the updates I put into the replies here in the OP. It makes it easier for you to read I guess. So there has still been no contact made with the boys mom. They called her this afternoon at like 330 and still no answer. I called Dh and let him know. First thing in the morning he is going to call the welfare check in. But for know I have to go I have a very upset 10 yr old to deal with. I will update tomorrow.

     

    Final Update Huge

    Ok so she Finally texted Dh back. She said she has been working crazy Shifts at work. I am sorry but that is no excuse NOT TO CONTACT OR RETURN YOUR CHILDRENS PHONE CALLS FOR 2WKs. She said she will be working the crazy shift for the next 6wks. So does that mean she wasn't going to contact them for  6wks. Some days I really wonder about that woman. She could of text or called in the past to weeks and let dh or I know that she was at least ok so it would of put the kids at ease. No it took Dh telling her he was going to have a welfare check and we had made contact with her grandmother. For her to text either one of us back. I am so angry at this woman. How can a mother not want to talk to her kids. Regardless of who has custody of them. It's not like we are keeping them from talking to her. I try my hardest to make sure the boys talk to and respect her regardless of the crap she pulled in the past. She is still their mom. I get that she works but to not answer the phone for 2wks or return a call or a text is bullshit. You find the time especially for your children.

    by on Aug. 17, 2011 at 1:01 AM
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    Replies (1-10):
    fallenangel7386
    by on Aug. 17, 2011 at 1:02 AM
    I would just to put the boys at ease.
    Posted on CafeMom Mobile
    Kaelaasmom
    by on Aug. 17, 2011 at 1:03 AM
    I would.
    Posted on CafeMom Mobile
    meagan0716
    by on Aug. 17, 2011 at 1:04 AM
    I know dh can't stand her but I think it would be better if I had him do it. So that way she can't bitch me out for it

    Quoting fallenangel7386:

    I would just to put the boys at ease.
    Posted on CafeMom Mobile
    Famousglm714
    by Gina on Aug. 17, 2011 at 1:05 AM
    I would.
    Posted on CafeMom Mobile
    artsygirl2010
    by on Aug. 17, 2011 at 1:05 AM
    betterto be safe than sorry...id do one yes
    Posted on CafeMom Mobile
    CheshireCat420
    by on Aug. 17, 2011 at 1:05 AM
    I would
    Posted on CafeMom Mobile
    ffpm10
    by on Aug. 17, 2011 at 1:06 AM
    Keep us updated.
    Is that time frame unusual for her?
    Posted on CafeMom Mobile
    smarshy
    by on Aug. 17, 2011 at 1:08 AM

    Yeah.

    mes_deux_amours
    by on Aug. 17, 2011 at 1:09 AM

    Yes. It sucks if it causes problems but if there is a problem, you'll regret not checking. Its better to be safe than sorry.

    Good luck!

    Nee86
    by on Aug. 17, 2011 at 1:10 AM
    I would do it for the boys. And if she can't understand you for called ib a welfare check to put her sons' minds at ease, then she needs to get over herself.
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