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I am a horrible wife.

Posted by on Aug. 17, 2011 at 10:27 AM
  • 7 Replies
seriously. Dh is set to deploy next week. He was getting his medical cleared and they came up on some past mental problems (anxiety, panic attacks ect) before he joined the military he had SEVERE social anxiety. When he was done with basic, he was almost completey different. He wasnt afraid to go out to eat, or on a bus ect. Well he could have easily gotten out of the deployment. Last night he was asking what I wanted. And it was fairly clear that i was leaqning toward deployment. We REALLY need the money. He seperates late march and we need a cushion. He will be making alot more money, and we are giving up his 700 a mo apartment. Would you have done the same thing? I do love my husband. I will miss him horribly but i see no other option.
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by on Aug. 17, 2011 at 10:27 AM
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2boys4momma
by on Aug. 17, 2011 at 10:33 AM

 Honestly.. I don't see how this makes you a bad wife.

You want him to go do the job he hired on to do.. and not try to shirk his responcibilities.. I mean if there was a problem where he couldnt' do the job.. I am sure you wouldn't want him to go.. but if he can.. WHY NOT GO!

Especially if it saves you guys money..a nd even makes more?!

spastic_poodle
by on Aug. 17, 2011 at 10:36 AM

Wow, I do believe that I'm reading about my husband!  Except he was never officially diagnosed before getting in.  And within his jobs he cant take ANY meds so he only gets better for short periods of time.

Anyway, no.  I'd never tell my husband to use his mental illness as a way to get out of deployment.  One, it could look bad within his current career (get him kicked out early), it could look bad in his future career aaaaand yeah, we'd probably need the money too.

Deployment and the extra money that come with it are a reality of the military.  If he wants to deploy, and you need to money... let him.  You're not being a bad wife by supporting him in his military career :)

Lisadd81
by on Aug. 17, 2011 at 10:37 AM

 Huh? im sorry what exactly makes you a bad wife? did you make him join the military?

Vandyswife
by on Aug. 17, 2011 at 10:39 AM

 yes, my husband keeps getting oppertunities to deploy, and I kept telling him to TAKE it... we could be completely debt free!!!! but now hes an instructor so the best "extra cash" we will make is perdium... which is pretty good, but I doubt it will equal the same..

airforewifenmom
by on Aug. 17, 2011 at 10:39 AM
I mean, he is worried he will get there and freak out. But he severly over reacts to things before hand. He also knows he will regret it if he dont go. There was someone who WANTS to go, waiting to replace him. We just really need the money. Like....bad. I know he must have decided to go, because he wouldnt do anything like that unless HE wanted to. He isnt doing infantry or anything like that. He is a mechanic, and will only leave base if one of his planes breaks down. I think that helped ease him a little..
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airforewifenmom
by on Aug. 17, 2011 at 10:43 AM
exactly!!!! And the thing is, i NEVER know when he will get these "attacks" sometimes they last a few hours, sometimes a few months. Sometimes they are EXTREME. I personally think he is bipolar orr has a personality disorder. Because during these episodes I hardly know him.

Quoting spastic_poodle:

Wow, I do believe that I'm reading about my husband!  Except he was never officially diagnosed before getting in.  And within his jobs he cant take ANY meds so he only gets better for short periods of time.


Anyway, no.  I'd never tell my husband to use his mental illness as a way to get out of deployment.  One, it could look bad within his current career (get him kicked out early), it could look bad in his future career aaaaand yeah, we'd probably need the money too.


Deployment and the extra money that come with it are a reality of the military.  If he wants to deploy, and you need to money... let him.  You're not being a bad wife by supporting him in his military career :)

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RaynesMommy07
by on Aug. 17, 2011 at 10:44 AM
ITA

Quoting 2boys4momma:

 Honestly.. I don't see how this makes you a bad wife.


You want him to go do the job he hired on to do.. and not try to shirk his responcibilities.. I mean if there was a problem where he couldnt' do the job.. I am sure you wouldn't want him to go.. but if he can.. WHY NOT GO!


Especially if it saves you guys money..a nd even makes more?!

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