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I cannot beleive what my DF said to me...(edit) *sigh* edit again

Posted by on Aug. 17, 2011 at 12:17 PM
  • 325 Replies

Exact words "Why should I get up with the baby? I'm the one that's actually going to work every day."
And when I said that I work all day too he said "Yeah, and your JOB allows you to lay down whenever you want." Ha!

I brought up the fact that I get up At least 2 hours before he does and my "work" isn't done until the kids are asleep...oh wait...Babies wake up several times in the night, so I guess I'm "on-call" 24/7, but his 8-hour shift means he shouldn't have to get up with his child. He said that just because I don't care to take care of myself by getting enough sleep didn't mean that he has to do the same.
I really did not know how to respond to that, so just told him to leave....Now what?

(BTW my daughter is 1 1/2, my son is 3 and the baby is due in March. I guess that will leave me plenty of time to lay down huh)

Yeah I forgot to mention that I also do childcare for 1 kid 5 days a week and another on weekends. So I do make money too.

First of all, he is telling me that his job as a father does END. As in, he will be going home when he wants to go bed, so he doesn't get woken up by the baby.
I don't have a problem with getting up with my kids, I have always done it and NEVER had help with either of my kids. I had thought that it would be different this time since I am not a single mom anymore.
He doesn't make money for US. I have my own money. He doesn't help me around the house, or take care of my kids, and I don't expect him to because they are my kids. But does he really have to critisize me for not going to bed when he thinks I should when I'm just trying to keep up with things?
When we are married and live together I should hope it will be a different story.
He was being an asshole when he said what he did. He is making me feel like I am still going to be doing this on my own even though we are together. Does anyone want to try and understand that, or are you all just going to be equally rude?

by on Aug. 17, 2011 at 12:17 PM
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Replies (1-10):
SxyPanamami83
by on Aug. 17, 2011 at 12:18 PM
Yup I would have told him to get out.
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mandksmommy
by on Aug. 17, 2011 at 12:19 PM

well it's true...and before you throw a fit i am a sahm.

mrs242
by on Aug. 17, 2011 at 12:20 PM

I would never tell my dh to leave. Im sure you will hear alot of "he is an ass" posts so I will leave this one for all of them but I still would never tell him to leave. Good luck though.

Starr1089
by on Aug. 17, 2011 at 12:20 PM
Your kids get up several times a night at that age?
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-xoxo-
by on Aug. 17, 2011 at 12:21 PM

What does he mean when he says that you don't care to take care of yourself? Are you getting up when the kids aren't? Does he want you to not get up with them?

lovinglife0682
by on Aug. 17, 2011 at 12:21 PM
What about him? When does his job as a dad end? I know my husband leaves one job to start another at home with his kids.
Cheermom1108
by on Aug. 17, 2011 at 12:21 PM

Are you always a ray of sunshine?  

Quoting mandksmommy:

well it's true...and before you throw a fit i am a sahm.



soakley
by on Aug. 17, 2011 at 12:22 PM
See about a compromise? He is kind of right, even though he was kinda rude.. I'm a SAHM and I don't have my husband get up at night when he has to work.. Because I can sit down and rest during the day... But on the weekends, he would help me out :) see if you guys can do the same?
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PEEK05
by on Aug. 17, 2011 at 12:22 PM

He sounds inconsiderate.

mes_deux_amours
by on Aug. 17, 2011 at 12:23 PM

I always get up with my kids because I Breastfeed so my sleep is disturbed regardless... however, if I ask my DH to get up and get the baby then he will with no complaints. But, when we have a newborn they sleep in the bassinet in our room so its easy to bring them into bed to nurse and then go back to their bed to sleep.

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