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Marriage troubles

Posted by on Aug. 17, 2011 at 6:55 PM
  • 12 Replies
what would you do if ur DH was like bipolar. One minute hes happy the next hes the biggest jerk there is. He keeps promising to change it but still hasnt. Sometimes the evil side can come out for a few mins sometimes a few days. What would you do?

Ive been considering leaving but I dont want to get divorced. I feel like marriage is forever, ya know? I just hate how he puts me down and blames everything on me. Plus I wouldnt have a way to leave. Im a SAHM and were broke.

I can feel my love for him disappearing. His words are empty and meaningless to me. What do I do??
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by on Aug. 17, 2011 at 6:55 PM
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Replies (1-10):
starbuckmom03
by on Aug. 17, 2011 at 6:56 PM

He needs therapy and meds.  Encourage him to do both.  For both your sanities and marriage, this needs to happen.  Get some therapy yourself so you can deal with this.

Beautifulmom513
by Platinum Member on Aug. 17, 2011 at 6:59 PM

have no idea. my husband is the same way. after 9 years of marriage i have learned how to  deal with it and minimize and prevent him from getting upset so much.

baby2zacharias
by on Aug. 17, 2011 at 7:00 PM
how so? please tell me!

Quoting Beautifulmom513:

have no idea. my husband is the same way. after 9 years of marriage i have learned how to  deal with it and minimize and prevent him from getting upset so much.

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baby2zacharias
by on Aug. 17, 2011 at 7:00 PM
i can try therapy but I know he wont take meds

Quoting starbuckmom03:

He needs therapy and meds.  Encourage him to do both.  For both your sanities and marriage, this needs to happen.  Get some therapy yourself so you can deal with this.

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Beautifulmom513
by Platinum Member on Aug. 17, 2011 at 7:05 PM

i have just learned thru experience with him. i know what sets him off and what doesn't. and if and when he gets upset what to do to get him to calm down quickly. its not always easy. but for the most part works. he won't take meds and he won't do counseling either. he tried anger management classes and that did absolutely nothing either. but it really all depends on the person. you are just gonna have to try different things and see what works best. good luck. i hope you figure it all out. i can't really give you more advice then that. you just have to try different things with him when he is upset and find out ways to work around it.

Quoting baby2zacharias:

how so? please tell me!

Quoting Beautifulmom513:

have no idea. my husband is the same way. after 9 years of marriage i have learned how to  deal with it and minimize and prevent him from getting upset so much.


kidlover2
by on Aug. 17, 2011 at 7:09 PM

If he is willing try counseling (churches often provide it for free) To be honest my husband was the exact same way and I drove myself and my children to craziness trying to keep him happy. It's not healthy. He ended up leaving me so I didn't really have a choice in the matter, but for as dirt poor as I am and scared poop-less about the future alone, being away from his anger and emotional abuse has been the most amazing and spirit lifting thing I could have done. In hindsight, I am convinced this was for the best.... even though it hurts so bad.

baby2zacharias
by on Aug. 17, 2011 at 7:26 PM
after all that he left you? recently?? im sorry hun but if ur happier now then Im glad ur stepping in the right direction.

guys can really be heartless


Quoting kidlover2:

If he is willing try counseling (churches often provide it for free) To be honest my husband was the exact same way and I drove myself and my children to craziness trying to keep him happy. It's not healthy. He ended up leaving me so I didn't really have a choice in the matter, but for as dirt poor as I am and scared poop-less about the future alone, being away from his anger and emotional abuse has been the most amazing and spirit lifting thing I could have done. In hindsight, I am convinced this was for the best.... even though it hurts so bad.

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spastic_poodle
by on Aug. 17, 2011 at 7:29 PM
This. He also has major anxiety so that's something we've really worked on. Sadly, I'm bi polar too. We put up with each other and support each other, because we understand each other.

Maybe iff you research his problems and understand it, itll be easier to cope with.


Quoting Beautifulmom513:

have no idea. my husband is the same way. after 9 years of marriage i have learned how to  deal with it and minimize and prevent him from getting upset so much.


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1likeme
by on Aug. 17, 2011 at 7:31 PM
That sounds like my husband. He isn't bipolar, just abusive. He is moved out and I am moving on with my life. He did the counseling bit for over a year now and it doesn't help anything because he spends his time trying to convince his counselor that I have a personality disorder.

Sometimes you have to worry about yourself and your kids. You can't force anyone to change but that doesn't mean you have to live a miserable life with them either. Good luck!
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Devious103102
by on Aug. 17, 2011 at 7:35 PM

have you tried counseling? Explain to him that you feel you need to go to save your relationship.  Also not just counseling for your marriage, but also for yourself, they can give you ways to deal with what's going on.

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