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What THIS stepmom wants you to know:

Posted by on Aug. 19, 2011 at 10:17 AM
  • 87 Replies

1. I'm not trying to take your place. 

I know I didn't deliver those babies. I am aware that I missed out on that. I'm fessing up and saying it hurts to know that my DH didn't hold my hand through 100 hours of labor; I don't get to wear that badge.  Your kids were aliens to me. Different women raise different children and have different ways of raising them. You and I are no exception.

2. I would NEVER let anything happen to your baby(ies) they are part of the man I love VERY much and I never let them out of my sight. They are precious to him, which makes them precious to me and If you happen to be at the same place at the same time as us and see me protectively holding your 3 year old, i'm not trying to smother him. I'm not playing "mommy" I am just protecting him like you would expect anyone to protect your child if you are not there to do so...

3. Please stop telling them that I don't matter. I do matter. Do me a favor: Ask your 13 year old to please put the DS away and pick up his pigsty of a room. See how well you take it when he looks at you and laughs and shuts the door in your face. 

4. Please understand that I WILL dole out punishment when I need to. Please give me permission to do so! Yep his dad is at work sometimes. We don't always have the option to get weekends off, this isn't 1950 where everything is closed on Sunday.  When he slams a door in my face I kinda want permission to have my out of body experience and fling his door open, yank the DS out of his hand, and tell him to get his butt outside and pick up dog shit for being so disrespectful. Something. I'm tired of that Sunday night phone call where you try and tell me I should wait for my DH to come home, that I have no business touching his belongings and handing out punishments. Ask my DD what would happen if she slammed a door in my face?

5. Please help me with #4 by teaching them to respect adults. I'm not Joan Crawford. I'm not some random stranger. WE HAVE THE SAME LAST NAME. In some way, by marriage or not, we are related. He should at least treat me with the  same kindness he would give his Aunt or Grandma. 

6. We give you as much as we can, please know that if I ever hit the lottery those children would never want for ANYTHING. I love christmas and birthdays. I spend your ex husbands and even my own money frivolously on cute clothes, video games, anything on their list. I love it. Know how you feel when you see your children smile and enjoy themselves? I'm not a beast. I enjoy it immensely. College? I worry about that too. I want everything good for them. I had a stepmom who didn't give a shit. Please know that I do. 

7. My parents ARE grandparents to them. They honor them just as they honor my DD at birthdays and holidays. some of the gifts they may receive may be random, but they don't spend as much time with your children as they do mine, so they aren't as up-to-the-moment in their knowledge as their likes and dislikes, activities and school. But they try really hard. 

8. We are human. Your ex may have changed alot over the years and after your divorce. But he is still the same person. He still does probably some of the same things that used to annoy you. We are going to argue. Sometimes we may bicker in front of the kids. It's never about you. Please stop trying to put your nose in our business. I don't call trying to dictate your household. Trust me, if I took everything your kids said about the runnings of your home at face value, we'd be in court every 6 months. But I know the stepkid drill, and on both sides they are really just trying to smooth things over between their bio parents. They will do this for years. I may take it personally sometimes, but eventually they WILL grow up and remember that I, their stepMOM, was fantastic. 

Thanks for sharing your family with me :)

Its my body and I'll do what I want to.

by on Aug. 19, 2011 at 10:17 AM
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Replies (1-10):
yabbadabba07
by on Aug. 19, 2011 at 10:21 AM

love this. hated some of the other stepmom posts, but love yours!

amanda.2
by on Aug. 19, 2011 at 10:21 AM

:)

I like this list better. lol.

Rachelle91
by on Aug. 19, 2011 at 10:22 AM

BUMP!

Shabbydoll78
by on Aug. 19, 2011 at 10:24 AM

 Bump

malissaL
by on Aug. 19, 2011 at 10:26 AM

BUMP!

mama2ameira
by Miss Christina on Aug. 19, 2011 at 10:26 AM
Where's 2 and 3
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
mama2ameira
by Miss Christina on Aug. 19, 2011 at 10:27 AM


Quoting amanda.2:

:)


I like this list better. lol.

Posted on CafeMom Mobile
nickysmom71
by on Aug. 19, 2011 at 10:28 AM

This is fair...I approve of this message....

brittaniepierce
by on Aug. 19, 2011 at 10:30 AM

I like this. :)


Brittanie, wife to Scott and momma to Saylor!

alwayskk
by on Aug. 19, 2011 at 10:31 AM

This one is a little better.

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