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Is it wrong to hide $ from your SO?

Posted by on Aug. 19, 2011 at 11:37 AM
  • 36 Replies
So, my dh is a spender. He will spend until his last penny. I'm tired of not having money for the things we need. Talking with him doesn't work. I'm tired of living like this and have been tinkering with the idea of putting money aside in a secret account. I have some money coming my way next month and I'm thinking about telling him it wasn't as much as I thought it was gonna be and stashing it. I need some feedback on whether this was a good idea or whether its gonna backfire big time.
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by on Aug. 19, 2011 at 11:37 AM
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Replies (1-10):
malissaL
by on Aug. 19, 2011 at 11:38 AM

nope I think it will compound his money problem, because you will provide him a safety net by doing so. 

christina0607
by on Aug. 19, 2011 at 11:39 AM

It's not something I would ever do. I do personally think it's wrong. 

I would instead use the money to sign us both up for classes on how to handle money.

megan479
by on Aug. 19, 2011 at 11:40 AM

it will backfire.  if you hide it, he's going to be pretty hurt that you didnt even trust him to know aboout its presence.  what might work better is to open an account for your bills and other things that you need and make sure that only you have access to that account.  if he gets all butt hrt about it, tell him exactly why you are doing that.  that way, he knows its there and you dont have to be keeping any secrets, but he cant get to it.

Cavalrybaby02
by on Aug. 19, 2011 at 11:40 AM

Yes, I think it's wrong.

Now my DH is a spender as well and he knows it, so he will leave his debit card at home, and take a little cash with him.  I handle the money because I'm better with it and can keep us on budget as well as being able to put money into savings.

momma2b2008
by on Aug. 19, 2011 at 11:40 AM
IMO yes! It is! You and him need to deal with the issue of him spending to much money! Even if my husband spend all kinds of money I would NEVER hide something like that from him! It's very dishonest!
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metalhealthmom
by on Aug. 19, 2011 at 11:41 AM

i think its going to backfire. not because i necessarily disagree with it-i get where you're coming from-but stuff like that normally backfires because the real issue is still there. you need to find a way to get him to curb his spending. maybe therapy or some type of life skills class. 

SingleMomzRock
by on Aug. 19, 2011 at 11:44 AM
Sit down with him and tell him that y'all are putting aside 25% of what he spends. He can blow the rest, but not having what y'all need is a problem he HAS to recognize.

My DH is the same way. I have a secret account - that he can't touch. He never knows what's in it - only that it exists. When he runs out of money, he tries to hit me up for that account - I tell him there's only $5.00 left in it. That is our safety net.
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Kodysmommy928
by on Aug. 19, 2011 at 11:46 AM

 I really think that if you have to hide money, you should be reevaluating why you are even with him.

3xangel
by Ruby Member on Aug. 19, 2011 at 11:53 AM

i think it's ok in your situation. but, i do think something needs to be done about his spending. you shouldn't have to hide money in order to make sure your family needs will be paid for. this is pathetic on his part..

moniagee
by on Aug. 19, 2011 at 11:55 AM



Quoting 3xangel:

i think it's ok in your situation. but, i do think something needs to be done about his spending. you shouldn't have to hide money in order to make sure your family needs will be paid for. this is pathetic on his part..


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