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What would you do? Funeral & toddler question...

Posted by on Aug. 19, 2011 at 6:44 PM
  • 7 Replies

 Our friend died on wednesday.  Our wedding anniversary is on sunday, but we are going to do something for that on Saturday because he works midnights (even though we arent in a super celebratory mood, we think having a night together would do us some good...)
Our friends visitation is on Monday from 2-4 & 7-9, and then the funeral is Tuesday @ 1:30.
My mil is already coming to get our daughter tomorrow and having her overnight.  This was planned before we got the date and time for the funeral/visitation.

Now I don't know what to do.
Do we ask mil to keep her all weekend untill Tuesday afternoon so we can do everything? 
Or do we just say forget it for our anniversary and just have her take dd for the visitation and/or the funeral?
OR should we bring her to the visitation and/or funeral?  Is that totally unacceptable?  I wouldn't want her to throw a fit and disturb anyone during such an emotional time.

She lives an hour and a half a way, so asking her to bring her back in between isn't really an option.

We have nobody else who can take care of our daughter during any of these times.


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by on Aug. 19, 2011 at 6:44 PM
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Replies (1-7):
1likeme
by on Aug. 19, 2011 at 6:46 PM
I would either ask her to keep your DD untill Tuesday or ask her if she is available for another weekend and postpone the anniversary celebration.
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BambiF
by on Aug. 19, 2011 at 6:46 PM

 I know it's long but I feel stressed out and I can't even think about all this...ughhhh

lucky2Beeme
by Platinum Member on Aug. 19, 2011 at 6:47 PM

I would foro anniversary plans and ask her to keep child monday late afternoon until Tuesday pm

smarshy
by on Aug. 19, 2011 at 6:48 PM

I would see if she can stay the whole time and pick her up after.

Kids are great and all that, but that is a LOT of stress to take her with to the funeral and visitation. You also deserve to have some time together, especially if you are pregnant LOL.


BambiF
by on Aug. 19, 2011 at 6:50 PM

 

Quoting smarshy:

I would see if she can stay the whole time and pick her up after.

Kids are great and all that, but that is a LOT of stress to take her with to the funeral and visitation. You also deserve to have some time together, especially if you are pregnant LOL.


I agree I think it would be too much stress for her, and us to take her.  We havent really been able to grieve because we don't want to upset her.


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smarshy
by on Aug. 19, 2011 at 6:54 PM


Quoting BambiF:

 

Quoting smarshy:

I would see if she can stay the whole time and pick her up after.

Kids are great and all that, but that is a LOT of stress to take her with to the funeral and visitation. You also deserve to have some time together, especially if you are pregnant LOL.


I agree I think it would be too much stress for her, and us to take her.  We havent really been able to grieve because we don't want to upset her.

Well not only would she going to be confused by the saddness around her, she would also get really bored and because she is so little, she is going to want to run around and play with things and get into things and touch everything if she goes. LOL

This way she can stay somewhere familiar and have fun with her grandmother. :)


britewhitelite
by on Aug. 19, 2011 at 6:54 PM

I really don't know, but I'm sorry about your friend.

im sorry

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