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Am I being mean??

Posted by on Aug. 19, 2011 at 7:42 PM
  • 36 Replies
First off, df and I have separate bank accounts. The discussion has come up about getting a joint account but he doesn't want to until were married. Fine. I think we need to before then and make sure were "ok" in that situation before we get married but, that's a whole other story.

No, this is about his dd. Age 7.
Df and I got into it a few weeks back because I feel like I do everything and pay for everything with no help from him. Like, if I didn't do it, it wouldn't get done. In the past (we've been together 5 years) I've always done the school clothes shopping for my ds and his dd, I've always thrown the bday parties for both kids, etc etc, with ZERO help money wise from him.
I've been telling him for awhile now that he needs to step up and start helping with some of this stuff and this last fight, about a month ago, I told him that I WILL NOT be buying his dd school clothes this year because he's made it into something he just "expects" me to do and pay for.
Well, school starts Wednesday and his dd has NO school clothes. And he claims to have no money to take her shopping this weekend.
I have SOME money, but it has to last me til I get paid next Friday and I don't feel I should make myself broke because he isn't taking care of his responsibilities.
Am I being too mean about this?? Should I buy her school clothes because I feel awful that she doesn't have any??
I seriously pay for everything while he has been going off to gun shows every weekend, he bought two guns this year and a whole bunch of other crap to go with his hobby, and he takes a bunch of random, unpaid days off work to do stupid crap like take my BILs jet ski out on the lake all weekend! Among many other things he wastes tons of money on...

Should I feel sorry for them??
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by on Aug. 19, 2011 at 7:42 PM
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Replies (1-10):
alexsmomaubrys2
by on Aug. 19, 2011 at 7:45 PM

I don't think it is right for his DD to suffer because the two of you can't come to an agreement. 

What about child support?

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Logan_Bellasmom
by Falling Starr on Aug. 19, 2011 at 7:46 PM

I think this could have been prevented.Could you have asked for him to give you the money to do it so it would still get done without you paying for it?

JustMe0326
by Platinum Member on Aug. 19, 2011 at 7:47 PM
He pays it to her mother.

I don't want her to suffer either but why should I have to be the one to suffer because he wants to be irresponsible??


Quoting alexsmomaubrys2:

I don't think it is right for his DD to suffer because the two of you can't come to an agreement. 

What about child support?

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JustMe0326
by Platinum Member on Aug. 19, 2011 at 7:49 PM
I told him that. I said I would not BUY her school clothes. I said I would be more then happy to take her shopping but I'm not paying for it.

Quoting Logan_Bellasmom:

I think this could have been prevented.Could you have asked for him to give you the money to do it so it would still get done without you paying for it?

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Logan_Bellasmom
by Falling Starr on Aug. 19, 2011 at 7:49 PM

If she lives with her mother and she gets child support why isn't she helping with school clothes?

Quoting JustMe0326:

He pays it to her mother.

I don't want her to suffer either but why should I have to be the one to suffer because he wants to be irresponsible??


Quoting alexsmomaubrys2:

I don't think it is right for his DD to suffer because the two of you can't come to an agreement. 

What about child support?


2ninos4me
by 2blessings4me on Aug. 19, 2011 at 7:49 PM
I would try to ignore the guilt féling and not bu his dd the.. Schóol clothes because if u give in then he wont change . I hope that after dd comes home sad that df will. Have a change of heart . Also where is her mother and the cs from her ??
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Embers88
by on Aug. 19, 2011 at 7:50 PM

Do you realize you're marrying this?

Just stay on his ass about buying HIS daughter school clothes. You shouldn't have to be doing that until you guys are married and have a joint account. He sounds pretty damn irresponsible to me... But if Tuesday rolls around and he still hasn't gotten her anything, then I would go ahead and get her a few things. 

perfectkitten
by on Aug. 19, 2011 at 7:51 PM

Well I would certainly keep on him about this. As for buying clothing for her I would. Then I would make him pay you back 1/2.

connie45
by Gold Member on Aug. 19, 2011 at 7:51 PM

Clothes is a basic necessity that CS should cover.  Let her mother do it.  Let her father do it.  

Honestly, if you don't straighten this out now - it will just get worse. 

Dzyre1115
by Desiree` on Aug. 19, 2011 at 7:51 PM

 It's not your responsibility to take care of another person's child.  She has, I am assuming, two able bodied parents.  Would you pick a random child off the street and buy her school clothes, because essentially that's your position. 

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