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How much are paternity tests?

Posted by on Sep. 14, 2011 at 9:08 PM
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I grew up never knowing my real father, the guy on the birth certificate swears he is not my father. They were married at the time but he swears (and she agrees) that they were broken up for a while and that's when I was conceived. (Mom disagrees on this) I hate him, he wouldn't even get me a dollar pop at a horse show when he was already getting my older sister one (who he is sure is his child). He literally right in front of me reached out a hand and said, "You better pay for it then." A DOLLAR! And he couldn't of asked her later. Mom just gave him a look and he said, "It's not my child, you pay for it." I was like 8 and he was the one I had always been told was my father, I was devestated. It's seared in my memory. 

The other option (I found out much later because I demanded an answer of my mom) is a man that my mother later got back with, he's the father of one of my sisters (remember some are adopted I'm not trying to make my mother out to be a slut or anything here lol) He lived with my mom for years, was a deadbeat with no job for most of it. He always treated me differently and not in a good way, I always had more chores, harder punishments I could not do anything without upsetting him or getting in trouble etc. I hated him, and because of him was raised by my grandparents because I went to their house one weekend and refused to leave and refused to let my little brother leave (he was pretty much abused by this man) and they didn't make us go back. 

I don't know why I want to know which of these men are my father, other than it still hurts not knowing. I am loved and wanted by my husband and by many family members, and I know my mom loves me. But yet not knowing who is my father and why they acted the way they did makes me feel unwanted and everyone elses love just doesn't seem to fill the hole they created.

As I am pregnant with my first I keep thinking back on my childhood and what I don't want to repeat. I am so thankful that my child will know who its father is, without a shadow of a doubt. That they will never feel the way I do, because their dad is a great man who will love and support them.

I don't know why I'm sharing this here, other than no one around me understands just how I feel about this. Mostly because they all know their parents. And while DH had it rough growing up and his parents lost custody of him and he was taken in by an Aunt and Uncle his parents were still there for him. Still visiited, still sent gifts, child support etc. He never felt un wanted. So maybe someone here will understand, I don't know. But I'm going to try googling paternity tests but I didn't know if anyone had used one before or knew how to go about this I guess.  

by on Sep. 14, 2011 at 9:08 PM
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Replies (1-3):
mes_deux_amours
by on Sep. 14, 2011 at 9:13 PM
Do you think those guys would agree to paternity testing?

I'm sorry you went through all that :( What jerks. I'd wish it were immaculate conception, those guys suck.
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AimBre
by Silver Member on Sep. 14, 2011 at 9:17 PM

My mom has said from the minute I asked as teenager that she asked and they said no, however just now talking to my older sister(the daughter of the first option) she says that both K and her were will to do testing, as in she would do sibling testing (which I have no clue if that would work because after all we are siblings through our mom for sure) and that he was willing and had asked for a paternity test and she denied it. So I might be able to get him to agree but I'm not sure about S, the other guy. 

Quoting mes_deux_amours:

Do you think those guys would agree to paternity testing?

I'm sorry you went through all that :( What jerks. I'd wish it were immaculate conception, those guys suck.


beadingmom17
by Rachel on Sep. 14, 2011 at 9:21 PM
I'm so sorry you had to grow up like that :( I have no clue how much a paternity test is...bump
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