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My 17 year old is pregnant! ***Latest update*** Good news!!

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First, I would like to thank everyone who took the time to give me advice!!  Of course, with only knowing a tiny part of the big picture, not all of it is applicable, but I am reading every response and considering all opinions.

I talked to my daughter last nite.  She was very humble, not angry.  She is panicking because it seems her boyfriend/fiance is not coming back.  She is worried about finances, has admitted her fault in not keeping up with the house etc.

Did I let her off the hook?  NO!   I told her I would be over once a week to check the cleanliness of the house(as requested by the owner)....she has no more chances regarding that issue.

She gets paid next week and wants to sit down with me to figure out her budget...including what she owes us.  I want to make sure that she can afford everything where she is on her own, and stressed to her that she need s to worry about her and that baby...not the boyfriend.

I will continue assisting my daughter, not enabling her.  I am not going to bail her out, and she will start losing things if she doesn't take care of her business(ie. her car and the house)

She is terrified by the reality of all of this and shocked that she is going to be a single mother.  She wanted it to be a family...not just a baby.   Reality is sinking in.

She is still a child, my child, who thought she could make adult choices and is learning a harsh lesson without being able to change the outcome....or go back to the way it was.

I hope that she meant what she said and will work harder at everything(school, work, home, etc) but she knows that it is HER responsibility....I will give her the chance to prove herself.

****Update:   The house was spotless!!  Now to see if she follows through with the other things we discussed!!!  Keeping my fingers crossed that she just got a wake up call!

by on Oct. 22, 2011 at 10:03 AM
Replies (41-50):
by on Oct. 25, 2011 at 4:27 PM

Wow... 14 year old father.   Best of luck to you.

Quoting WishfulMama:

It sounds like you are handling it well.  I just found out my fourteen year old ds got his seventeen year old girlfriend pregnant.  I have been a crying, nervous wreck.  We have a long road ahead.  Does it get easier.  Will my heartache ever go away?                                                        

by Ruby Member on Oct. 25, 2011 at 9:18 PM
positive energy your way
by on Oct. 26, 2011 at 8:15 AM

oh wow that is great. Definitely time do eventually take its toll.

by on Oct. 26, 2011 at 8:28 AM


Quoting kjbennett26:

 I'm glad her attitude is changing...hoepfully it lasts.  I think it is awesome you are there for her and glad you are standing up for yourself and are going to stop catering to her BS.  Good luck!


by on Oct. 26, 2011 at 8:32 AM
Good luck
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by on Oct. 26, 2011 at 8:41 AM

When and why did her "fiance" leave her?    Anyway, hopefully this has woke her up and learn to appreciate those who really matter.  Hope she has a plan once the baby gets here, good luck. 

by on Oct. 26, 2011 at 1:52 PM

I think that you are doing wonderfully and that it looks like things may be changing for the better. I wish you all the best with everything and hope that she sticks with the new attitude that she is having. I think she will be better off without the father. I hate to see a child having to grow up without a father but it seems that she was at her worst when with him. Congrats and Good Luck!

by on Oct. 27, 2011 at 10:03 AM
I am glad she is starting to come around. She reaaly needs the wake up call before the baby is here. I hope you too can be close again. Good luck
by on Oct. 28, 2011 at 5:48 PM

I was a teenage (16) mom. I lived with my parents until just after I turned 18 when I moved into my now ex-husband's home (not the baby's father). From what I read it sounds as though you are doing what you can. I believe there are times when you have to let kids fall to learn but in your daughter's situation she is getting a heavy dose of reality when all she should be worried about is going to the movies. I think you need to stick by her because she is not yet aware of what really lies instore for her. Friends will stop talking to her and life will become "boring". Work, school, and baby. Make sure she gets some time to herself. All mom's need that anyways but she is still a teenager and should have some time with her friends so she doesn't ever go through a stage where she starts to act like a teenager when she is an adult. I know how hard school gets but tell her to make sure she goes to school. I finished high school but now at 38 I am getting my degree. It would have been so much better for me and my family if I had done it when I was younger. It is hard but necessary. It sounds like you and her father have come together and are being supportive and that is important.

by on Oct. 28, 2011 at 10:33 PM

Kudos to you for trying to be a good mother./

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