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Do you think its selfish for people to have bio kids when there are so many children already suffering?

Posted by on Nov. 9, 2011 at 2:35 PM
  • 9 Replies

I had made a post a while back about a friend of a friend who was wanting to find a mother opting for adoption so they could adopt thier baby. I got a bunch of replies stating that they were selfish for wanting a new baby when there were so many already in the system. 

What is the difference in wanting a new adopted baby and having a new one of your own?

by on Nov. 9, 2011 at 2:35 PM
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Replies (1-9):
artsygirl2010
by on Nov. 9, 2011 at 2:36 PM
1 mom liked this

i think having children is a personal decision. and no one else should judge if 2 people decide to have a child together. 

Sheryllinn
by on Nov. 9, 2011 at 2:38 PM
1 mom liked this


Quoting artsygirl2010:

i think having children is a personal decision. and no one else should judge if 2 people decide to have a child together. 

i def agree. i was surprised that so many moms wouldnt support another mom trying to adopt a baby, especially since some of them were preggo. didnt make much sense to me

Sarcasimom
by on Nov. 9, 2011 at 2:40 PM
Because this is Cafemom and there is always someone or a bunch of someone's that will always argue no matter what it is!
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Sheryllinn
by on Nov. 9, 2011 at 2:41 PM


Quoting Sarcasimom:

Because this is Cafemom and there is always someone or a bunch of someone's that will always argue no matter what it is!

I know! I shouldve known better. I guess EVERYTHING must be contraversial on this site. 

Sarcasimom
by on Nov. 9, 2011 at 2:42 PM
There is nothing wrong with wanting a baby. Some people want to have a part of the beginning of the child's life. Also, it's not easy to adopt an older child. It can be difficult to adopt an older child that doesn't know you.
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aprilsalcro
by Platinum Member on Nov. 9, 2011 at 2:42 PM
No.
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momof52011
by on Nov. 9, 2011 at 2:42 PM

I've no idea, I don't think they're selfish for wanting them. I bet all of those moms hadn't adopted any kids from the system, maybe if they had then I'd listen to them..

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Tristen0420
by on Nov. 9, 2011 at 2:52 PM

I've wondered this about myself so many times.  I have two kids, My dream is actually to foster kids......mainly becuase I want to make a difference in a lot of childrens lives not just the one I am able to adopt.  But then I wondered how would my kids feel about them?  Would they see them as their siblings or just some kid who isn't as fortunate as them etc. 

My other cunondrum (spelling)  is abortion vs. adoption.  My personal choice for myself is neither.  But I see both sides of the argument, unfortunately there are so many kids in the system as it is now that to put a child up for adoption is almost as cruel as aborting it.  The chances of them spending their entire life in the system (if you don't find a couple that wants your baby) and then ending up on the streets is terrible.  But at the same time I just don't understand those that could actually get an abortion first and formost we know what sex leads to.....but second how could you do that to a part of you.  I lost one, and that killed me.  I could never choose too.  I have had friends who have had abortions sadly......I understand that that choice was what was best for them. 

I try to have an open mind on things.  There are many people who want to adopt babies, which is understandable....it's much easier on all parties involved.  At the same time though there are people out there who prefer to skip the whole baby step and go for an older child.  I wish there were as many good parents as there are needy children out there : (

Sheryllinn
by on Nov. 9, 2011 at 2:56 PM

It takes a certain kind of person to be able to foster children or even be able to handle all that comes with adopting older kids. Its sad all around that people cannot take care of the children they get pregnant for and that applies to all sorts of adoptions and abortions. And since the economy has gotten so bad, im sure there are even more kids out there that wont go to a good family :(

Quoting Tristen0420:

I've wondered this about myself so many times.  I have two kids, My dream is actually to foster kids......mainly becuase I want to make a difference in a lot of childrens lives not just the one I am able to adopt.  But then I wondered how would my kids feel about them?  Would they see them as their siblings or just some kid who isn't as fortunate as them etc. 

My other cunondrum (spelling)  is abortion vs. adoption.  My personal choice for myself is neither.  But I see both sides of the argument, unfortunately there are so many kids in the system as it is now that to put a child up for adoption is almost as cruel as aborting it.  The chances of them spending their entire life in the system (if you don't find a couple that wants your baby) and then ending up on the streets is terrible.  But at the same time I just don't understand those that could actually get an abortion first and formost we know what sex leads to.....but second how could you do that to a part of you.  I lost one, and that killed me.  I could never choose too.  I have had friends who have had abortions sadly......I understand that that choice was what was best for them. 

I try to have an open mind on things.  There are many people who want to adopt babies, which is understandable....it's much easier on all parties involved.  At the same time though there are people out there who prefer to skip the whole baby step and go for an older child.  I wish there were as many good parents as there are needy children out there : (


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