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Abandonment?

Posted by on Nov. 9, 2011 at 6:22 PM
  • 17 Replies

I just brought this up in another thread, but wanted to do a kind of spin off.

What are your thoughts on parents who truck drive for a living? Let's say, a single woman, has three kids, but the kids stay with their grandparents or other family for a week at a time while she drives truck. Mom's home every weekend, but she drives truck all week.

Would you consider it abandonment?

How about if it was a single dad doing it for a living.

What, in your opinion, counts as abandonment?



by on Nov. 9, 2011 at 6:22 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Teeshann
by Ruby Member on Nov. 9, 2011 at 6:23 PM

 sometimes a family does what they need to. as long as they are being cared for and mom or dad is in constant contact. and as long as they are providing for that child it is not abandonment.

if they up and leave, never talk to the children, don't support them in any way. that is abandonment.

batsbelfry
by on Nov. 9, 2011 at 6:25 PM

my thoughts exactly

Quoting Teeshann:

 sometimes a family does what they need to. as long as they are being cared for and mom or dad is in constant contact. and as long as they are providing for that child it is not abandonment.

if they up and leave, never talk to the children, don't support them in any way. that is abandonment.


incogneat-o
by on Nov. 9, 2011 at 6:27 PM
1 mom liked this

You do what you've got to do to provide for your family.  If your kids are with a trusted adult who is caring for them, and not just left to their own devices, then whatever.

I personally, would be looking for a job that had me home every night, but until then if driving a truck was what was paying the bills, then so be it.

momof52011
by on Nov. 9, 2011 at 6:28 PM

Right on.

Quoting Teeshann:

 sometimes a family does what they need to. as long as they are being cared for and mom or dad is in constant contact. and as long as they are providing for that child it is not abandonment.

if they up and leave, never talk to the children, don't support them in any way. that is abandonment.


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Tatum2U
by on Nov. 9, 2011 at 6:28 PM

abandonment imo is when the parent walks away for a long period of time . What you describe is a parent doing their best to support their kids. I think it can be hard on the kids , in the above scenario but its not abandonment . 

Fatal_Frost
by on Nov. 9, 2011 at 6:29 PM

 I dont know if I'd consider it abandonment, its definitely not for me...  I believe one parent should have more of a primary care-giver role, even if both parents work, at least one should be available in case of emergency or to be there at some point during the week...  I couldnt ever do it, watching and being there for my kids as they grow up is too important to me, it happens so fast...  I was a SAHM for awhile, then got a job that I could work around my dh's schedule, so that one of us is usually always here...

Shy_Dia
by Gold Member on Nov. 9, 2011 at 6:29 PM

as long as they are in contact, they arent abandoning them.. but i would question if they should have custody since they cant provide a STABLE home... your post makes it sound liek the kids are with grandma/grandpa one week, then aunt/uncle the next, etc-- no stability, no home.

Halawia
by on Nov. 9, 2011 at 6:33 PM

Well, we're going with the single hypothisis here. You've got a single parent, and this was the only job they could come across so they took it. I say this, because it's something one of my friends does. Her three girls stay with their grandparents or their aunt and uncle all week, and she drives truck. She's home every weekend.  Yet she gets shit on for it all the time by other mothers who think it's her responsibility to be home with her kids all the time. When, yes, she does lose time with them, but she does what she has to in order to provide. 2500 a week is some damn good money!

Quoting Fatal_Frost:

 I dont know if I'd consider it abandonment, its definitely not for me...  I believe one parent should have more of a primary care-giver role, even if both parents work, at least one should be available in case of emergency or to be there at some point during the week...  I couldnt ever do it, watching and being there for my kids as they grow up is too important to me, it happens so fast...  I was a SAHM for awhile, then got a job that I could work around my dh's schedule, so that one of us is usually always here...


Halawia
by on Nov. 9, 2011 at 6:35 PM

Their true home base would be with the grandparents, who are elderly and sometimes need a break from three kids... so here and there they will stay at the aunt and uncles.

Quoting Shy_Dia:

as long as they are in contact, they arent abandoning them.. but i would question if they should have custody since they cant provide a STABLE home... your post makes it sound liek the kids are with grandma/grandpa one week, then aunt/uncle the next, etc-- no stability, no home.


Shy_Dia
by Gold Member on Nov. 9, 2011 at 6:37 PM

then yea- i wouldnt have issues with it. i mean, she's gotta do what she's gotta do. it'd be different if she wasnt single, or if she had help from the father/s- but it is what it is... and making 2 grand a week-- thats more than whati make in a month! but i wouldnt be able to leave DS like that... not b/c i'm obligated to stay with him... but b/c no one would care for him. your friend is real lucky. even though she's losing time with her kids, the kids are gaining time with their grandparents and all that.

Quoting Halawia:

Their true home base would be with the grandparents, who are elderly and sometimes need a break from three kids... so here and there they will stay at the aunt and uncles.

Quoting Shy_Dia:

as long as they are in contact, they arent abandoning them.. but i would question if they should have custody since they cant provide a STABLE home... your post makes it sound liek the kids are with grandma/grandpa one week, then aunt/uncle the next, etc-- no stability, no home.



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